


Caesar's Slaves

by FalloutWanderer



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst and Tragedy, Caesar's Legion, Deception, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Feels, Fluff and Smut, Rape, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Shameless Smut, Sharing a Bed, Slavery, Some Humor, Swearing, The Burned Man - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2019-07-18 09:45:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 53,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16115855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FalloutWanderer/pseuds/FalloutWanderer
Summary: The first battle for Hoover Dam was a bitter loss for Caesar. With their costly defeat blamed on Joshua Graham, the Legion quietly retreated into the East where they set fire to their Legate, transforming him into the Burned Man.Aelius, a young Legionary Prime in the ranks of Caesar’s Legion, comes across an unfortunate caravan lead by a woman with his scouting team.What follows next is a perilous adventure to freedom and redemption.





	1. Caravan

_Prelude:_

 

_Coarse rope cut into Joshua's wrists, its sharp fibres digging into his flesh like needles drawing their fill of blood. In all his life, he never imagined finding himself in this position. Then again, he never imagined that Edward Sallow, his friend, could ever turn into a power-hungry megalomaniac; but that's exactly what happened._

_"You have squandered our resources, cost us the lives of our best soldiers…and worst of all, you've failed to secure the Dam", Caesar's voice was low and momentous. His troops were silent, absorbing their master's words without question, waiting for the lesson that was about to be demonstrated on what happens if you fail Him._

_Somehow nothing felt real, instead it was like watching history being written and Joshua was an unwilling participant of yet another one of Caesar's atrocities. He knew the end was coming._

_Caesar moved close to Joshua, leaning in next to his ear, "Have you anything to say?"_

_Joshua weighed his words, for they would be the last he would speak in this life. He wanted to say that Caesar had lost the greatest gift of all, that his penance will be exacted in this life and the next, and that Joshua was now paying the price for his blindness to Caesar's menace and unwillingness to stop his tyranny on the innocent. He wanted to say that he was glad to finally be free of Caesar's grasp and to accept punishment and beg the Lord's forgiveness. But the words that left his lips were more poignant in their succinctness._

_"I'll see you in Hell, Edward"._

_Caesar's expression turned to amusement as he took several steps away and nodded to the executor who quickly poured a cauldron full of pitch and set Joshua alight._

_Being engulfed in flames is not something that can be described to its full effect with words. For Joshua it was like a second baptism, only this time in flames. The world outside of his body didn't exist anymore as the flames enveloped him, making even the hardy veteran Legionaries gasp in horror. He refused to cry out in the pain and terror he felt as his hair and skin sizzled and bubbled, blindly walking over the edge of the precipice. He felt his body collide with solid ground after what felt like eternity, tumbling down the sandy and rocky depths of the Grand Canyon like a rag doll._

_When he finally came to, he felt pain the likes he thought were not possible and every movement was like experiencing the flames on his flesh all over again. Joshua didn't know how long he had laid there unconscious. Hours, days or a week could have passed by; but he was still alive, and that's all that mattered. Looking down at his arms, he saw his skin was red and blistering with some of his clothing burned into his flesh. It was then that he had a stark realisation of what had happened to him._

_Joshua Graham was dead, and the Burned Man was born out of the flames._

* * *

There was nothing, no sound in the world that was worse than a woman wailing in pain and despair as her body was being taken by force; at least that's what Aelius thought. The other soldiers had a different opinion on the matter though, laughing as they huddled around the campfire while the sound echoed over the Grand Canyon hauntingly, merging with the howls of the chilling December wind. The group had found her, a caravan trader in her late twenties, while out on their regular scouting mission for food and any other useful items they could come by. A caravan trader with Caesar's mark was under no circumstances to be harmed; but Caesar didn't recognise women as being anything other than slaves. He wondered who she was. Did she take a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in Legion lands, or did she have a burning desire to defy Caesar? Whatever the reason was, it was hopeless now. Her brahmin was slaughtered and her caravan plundered and destroyed. There was no way of escaping.

Aelius was a Prime Legionary, not by choice mind you. He was initiated into Caesar's faction much too late for the Legion's standards, being sixteen years of age when he witnessed his tribe surrender and become absorbed by the Bull. That was seven years ago. He was separated from his mother and sisters, placed into intensive training with the other able-bodied youngsters and put through gruelling drills every day before dawn, only finishing well into the night.

"Listen to that", one of the scouts grinned, licking his lips, "I think I'll go next!" His comment was met with laughter and nods of approval. Valens was his name, a Legionary Scout seventeen years of age and already as malicious as the most weathered veteran Legionary. It was no surprise, seeing as he knew nothing of life before the Legion. It moulded him into the perfect, obedient slave. His features were so extreme and angular that the first thing that came to your mind when you saw him was…

"Snake", Aelius murmured in disgust.

"What did you say?" Valens glared at him.

"I'll go check for snakes", Aelius stood up, collecting his machete.

"You do that", Valens's grin widened, which did nothing to help hide his reptilian like features.

Aelius walked further and further away from the group until their campfire light was a dot in his vision and the only light he was bathed in was that of the full moon. It was quiet here, no laughter, no wailing, just the sounds of crickets and wind. Thoughts began to race through his mind, the idea of escape was tantalising. He began to picture himself running away full sprint into the horizon until his legs gave away. But what would he do then? Where would he go to escape the Legion? This was their land for hundreds, if not thousands of miles. If he were found he would be crucified, left to expire and rot in the hot sun while those he knew walked idly past him, casting wary glances at the example of what happens to those who try to flee the Legion. No doubt Valens would be the first to torment him as he suffered. His elation at the thought of escape deflated, and the horrifying reality of his life crept back in. Although he didn't wear a collar, he was also a slave. His collar was the Legion that broke him, keeping him from doing the right thing.

A whimpering sound broke through his hopeless reverie, making his heart skip a beat. Aelius stood still, his heart beating fast in his chest and his hand wrapped around his machete. His eyes darted around, absorbing as much of his surroundings as possible in case they detected movement; but there was nothing. He was about a dozen feet away from a precipice and there was flat land all behind him; there was no way someone could hide from or sneak up on him.

_"Mommy"_ , a faint voice called, almost inaudible. It was a child's voice, and Aelius could swear he heard it coming in front of him.

_'Impossible'_ he thought, looking at the gaping Earth in front of him. Unless…

He cautiously walked to the edge, taking care where he placed his next step. It wasn't uncommon for these rocks to crumble, especially at the edges. He could hear faint sobbing as he drew closer.

"Hello?" he whispered, "Is anyone there?"

The sobbing stopped abruptly, followed by the clatter of pebbles falling over the cliff. Reaching the precipice, Aelius diverted his gaze downward and his eyes widened in shock and fear at the sight of a young boy barely hanging on to the cliff some three feet below him onto a tiny overhanging ledge. There was at least a hundred-foot drop onto sharp rocks below him.

"Hey! It's okay, I'm here to help", Aelius tried to comfort the distraught child. He quickly lay on his front and extended his arm, but the boy shook his head. "I promise I'm not going to hurt you. Reach up and take my hand. You can do it", he nodded.

"No", the boy whimpered, his little body shaking as he desperately tried to keep hold of his grip on the rocks, "Mommy… I want mommy", tears streaming down his face. He couldn't have been more than four or five years old.

"I'll take you to her", Aelius pleaded, "Come on, just reach up and you'll be safe. I promise!" Aelius looked pleadingly down at the child. Finally, the boy reached up and Aelius grasped his arm tightly, pulling him up with no trouble. He let out a sigh of relief and hugged the shaking child to calm him down. "You're okay, see? You're safe now".

Once the child stopped shaking and they both caught their breath, Aelius checked him over for injuries.

"Are you hurt? How long were you down there?"

The boy shrugged, allowing Aelius to check his arms and legs for injuries, "Mommy told me to hide. She said the bad men were coming and not to come out until she came back for me".

"Where is your mommy?" Aelius asked, but a sinking feeling in his gut was telling him that it was the woman in their tent. And sure enough, the boy pointed in the direction of their camp.

_'…Shit'_  he thought desperately. He couldn't take him back to his camp, not with what the others were doing to his poor mother. Though he couldn't also just leave him here to fend for himself. There were wild creatures that would almost certainly make a meal of him if they spotted him.

"What's your name kid?"

"Gael", the boy replied.

"You hungry Gael?" Aelius asked, procuring some slivers of cured meat from his supply pouch. Gael nodded and accepted the food, hungrily taking bites out of the brahmin jerky. They waited for a while until Gael finished eating. Aelius was at a loss about what to do in this situation. He didn't want to take him back to the campsite with his mother being abused. No child should ever have to hear what he did.

"I'm cold, can we go?" Gael shivered.

Aelius smiled down at him and took his red cloak off to wrap around the youngster, "There, better?" he asked. Gael nodded, taking his hand. The small act of trust was wrenching at Aelius' heart. He hoped to whatever forces there were in the universe that when he returned back to camp that Drusus, their Legionary decanus, was done in the tent and that the boy could find some measure of peace with his new life in the Legion. Little did he know that this was just the beginning of a new chapter for him...


	2. Breaking Bonds

Stumbling blindly in the dark, Joshua Graham’s body shivered in spasms from the pain that came with every small movement he made. Hours merged into days, days into weeks. The world around him and what he was feeling had an almost surreal aspect to it, as though he had slipping away from the physical world and was somewhere between life and death. Catching the sole of his worn boot on a rock, Joshua tripped and fell face forward onto the hard, dusty ground. Pain shot like electricity through is entire body and he wanted to cry out, but he couldn’t. If he did, it would mean certain death.

Some time after he regained consciousness and mobility after surviving the fire, he realised that he was being followed. It wasn’t until he found refuge in a cave one day that he saw his pursuers. Legionary assassins. No doubt his old friend Caesar had sent them after him to make sure he was dead. That’s when Joshua knew that he’d left a seed of fear and paranoia in Caesar’s mind, so much so that he was sending his best people after a ghost.

_‘What’s the matter old friend, afraid the Burned Man will come get you?’_ he thought in amusement as he forced himself off the ground, not even bothering to dust himself off.

Joshua made sure that every assassin Caesar sent his way never made it back alive. Silence and patience were the key to his success. It was very important that he didn’t falter now; not when he was so close to New Canaan. He pushed past the pain and fatigue, focusing all his effort into moving forward. He vowed that, if he survived this test, he would find a way to make amends for the sins he committed against his fellow man.

Weeks passed but Joshua carried forward. He lived off the land, catching and eating easy prey like radroaches and juvenile geckos whenever he could. For drink he relied on cacti and succulent plants, and the occasional stream he came across. When his legs couldn’t carry him anymore, he slept on the ground under the sun or night sky, or a small cave if he was lucky enough to find one that was uninhabited. Despite the pain, the humiliation he relived in his own mind every day of Edward’s betrayal, he drew comfort from knowing that every step brought him closer to his true home.

* * *

 

Taking his time getting back to the camp, Aelius tried to keep the boy’s thoughts occupied by asking him questions like what his favourite food was, what games he liked to play, did he have any siblings to fight over stuff.

Gael shook his head, a cheeky smile on his face, “No”.

“You mean to tell me don’t have any brothers or sisters?” Aelius asked incredibly.

“No”, Gael snickered.

“So, you never had to fight with anyone about your toys?”

“Nope”.

“Huh”, Aelius grinned at him.

“Did you have to fight for your toys?”

The question brought back memories of his two elder sisters, “Sometimes. I had two sisters, so we didn’t fight a lot because we used to play with different toys”.

“Why?”

“Because… well, I guess their interests in my toys outgrew”.

Gael looked confused, “Why?”

Aelius chuckled, “I don’t know actually. I think my toys weren’t as interesting”. His gut wrenched with sorrow as he remembered his sisters. While they were growing up they were annoying at times, what sibling wasn’t? But he was always in awe of them. The truth was, his sisters were obsessed with old world tech that they took it upon themselves to learn everything there was about building and repairing machines. They were so adept at it that they began building their own variants. They were the smartest people he knew, and now they were probably somewhere out there in Legion territory forced to carry heavy loads or prepare food in the galleys…or suffer abuse like Gael’s mom. The thought made his blood boil.

“Aelius?” Gael asked softly.

“Huh?”

“I wanna go home”, the boy looked pleadingly at him.

“Where is your home?”

Gael shrugged.

“Can you tell me what faction you came from? Or what tribe?”

“I dunno”, he shrugged.

_‘He’s only a child, he wouldn’t know anything about factions’,_ Aelius thought to himself.

“Well, can you remember anything that stood out about your home? Something that made it special?”

Gael screwed up his face, as though he was concentrating hard on a memory, “My dad! He’s a hero”.

“Oh yeah? How do you know?”

“Everyone said so. But mom said it’s because he’s a soldier and that people like saying stuff like that about soldiers”.

“Do you remember his uniform?”

“Uh huh!” Gael nodded enthusiastically, “He let me wear his hat all the time at home”.

“What did the hat look like?”

“It was big and red”, Gael smiled, “Like this”, he pulled on Aelius’s crimson cloak.

“Ah! That’s a nice colour for a hat”.

Gael nodded in agreement, “It was really cool. It had a sticker with a skull on it”.

Aelius’s eyes seemed to widen in surprise. Gael’s father was a first recon sniper in the NCR military. _‘What the hell was your mother thinking kid?’_ Aelius thought mournfully, trying to keep a cheery mood for the boy. They were near the camp and Aelius could see the first shift night guard in his watch position. Aelius recognised it was Domitius from his stature and stance, a level-headed Veteran Legionary who was quite unique in the sense that he didn’t seem to share the same interests as the others.  Although he was the oldest member of the group, being in his mid-forties, he was the most feared man of their group due to his raw power and ferocity in the battlefield. Aelius remembered hearing Marcellus, the Legionary Decanus and the leader of their party, once describe Domitius as a berserker after seeing him take down half a dozen men on his own in a fight with a cannibalistic tribe they encountered some years ago.

Aelius bundled the sleepy child up in his cloak to keep him warm, and partly because he desperately wanted to hide and shield him as much as possible from the other Legionaries.

“Where have you been?” Domitius asked sternly as Aelius neared the camp, “What’s in your cloak?”

Aelius’s heart began to sink as he shifted Gael in his arms, who looked around with wary curiosity. The guard walked up the Aelius and the boy, his eyes scanning over them.

“Where did you find him?”

“About a mile from here, hanging on the side of a cliff”.

“That’s where we found the woman”, Domitius moved closer to get a better look at the boy, gently but firmly grabbing him by his small jaw and turning his head to get a better look at his features, “I assume that’s her offspring?”

“Uh… Yes”, Aelius wrapped his arms around Gael a little tighter, sensing his uneasiness, “What of the woman?”

Domitius let go of Gael and his attention turned towards the tent where their leader was bunked, “Stopped hearing her some time ago. Last word I caught around camp was that Marcellus grew tired of her shrill screaming and knocked her out. I would keep the boy some distance from the tent. We will have to deal with this in the morning”.

“I understand”, Aelius nodded.  

“Are there any other surprises I should know about?” the guard looked over Aelius’s shoulder half expectantly, his hand automatically going for his machete tied at his hip.  

“No. At least, not that I’ve seen. Just the boy”. He could feel Gael’s tiny hands clutching at his armour.

After a moment’s consideration, Domitius nodded and allowed him to pass.

“The others are asleep. Keep the boy quiet”.

A lump formed in Aelius’s chest, but he neither said nor did anything to show his displeasure with the information about Gael’s mother. All he could do was walk back to his sleeping bag and get Gael tucked in as comfortably as possible. The boy was already half asleep by the time he was settled in that Aelius wasn’t worried about him understanding much of the conversation he shared with Domitius. All he could do now was get some rest and hope the boy’s first glimpse into the Legionary induction goes smoothly.

 

* * *

 

Joshua felt the harsh sun’s light burn his flesh as he lay on the ground covered in dust and a spatter of blood, a dead Legionary assassin splayed next to him. It was a struggle this time, even for Graham; but by some fortune he managed to get the upper hand and with one swift cut open the assassin’s throat. Though he was no stranger to blood and gore, it still amazed him how much blood gushed out of the assassin’s neck, like a taught balloon getting popped. The surprised and horrified look on the man’s face was burned into Graham’s mind and it gave him a morbid satisfaction that he, a purportedly dead man, was able to best a Legionary assassin who was in prime physical condition. It was a good thing for Graham that the assassin underestimated how deadly cornering a half dead wolf can be.

A wet crimson stain spread toward him, making him shimmy away. Developing an infection in his condition was a constant threat. He no longer had skin that was protecting him from the harsh elements, bacteria and viruses, so he had to be extra vigilant. Struggling up onto his feet, Graham took anything useful he could from the assassin’s body. He ripped off his blood-stained shirt and replaced it with the unsoiled armour of the assassin, pocketed some healing poultice, a pouch with cured meats, purified water, a machete and the combat knife he used in the fight. There being no place to hide the body, Joshua stacked some rocks over the lifeless corpse and kicked up some dirt to cover the blood. It would have to do. He barely had enough energy to carry on, and he had to save as much of it as possible for the final trek.

 

* * *

 

Sleep eluded Aelius and morning came quickly before he even had a chance to get some rest. He found himself unable to stop his thoughts from racing, recalling memories of his mother and sisters; wondering where they were now and if they were together. This was going to be a difficult morning for Gael, and himself. Every time they came across a new tribe that they absorbed, the painful memories of what he went through come rushing back. The process was always the same: separate the tribe into males, females and children. Adult males are always taken away first, then it is the duty of the leader of the Legionary group to break and enslave the women and children.  Mothers and female children are physically beaten into submission and the male children are forced to participate, in part to teach them that they are physically stronger than women and to strip them of their empathy by making them see women as nothing more than things. If they refuse, then they are whipped and forced to watch as their mothers and sisters are beaten and gang raped by the rest of the Legionaries in front of them. Aelius experienced this first-hand when he refused to whip his mother and sisters with a belt that the Centurion shoved in his hand. He would never forget the sighs from that day and the sounds of terrified screams from his sisters.

As first light began to break, others in the camp began to stir. Aelius pretended to be asleep and kept his ears open to listen in on the conversations around the camp fire, but he didn’t have to pretend for long before Marcellus came out of his tent.  Pretty soon he heard gentle murmurs of “Ave” from the members who were awake. He shifted, pretending to wake; it would be an insult if he carried on the ruse. He sat up and wrapped his spare cloak around his shoulders.

“Ave, Decanus”, he murmured as their leader leisurely walked up to him. Immediately the man’s eyes drifted from Aelius to his sleeping bag, where part of Gael’s face and hair was uncovered.

“What is this?” Marcellus nodded to the boy.

“A stray child I found late last night, clinging onto the side of a cliff”, Aelius answered his superior’s question hesitantly.

Marcellus tilted his head slightly to one side, as if considering something. After a moment, a hint of a knowing grin appearing in the corner of his lips. He turned with purpose on his heel and headed inside his tent, shortly emerging again with the woman, half consciously struggling as he dragged her roughly by the arm behind him. Aelius found himself unable to hide the anger from his face or pry his eyes away from the red and purple bruises peppering her exposed skin; especially when Marcellus dropped her gruffly between them. She looked up at Aelius and Marcellus wrathfully, her hair dishevelled, eyes bloodshot and face streaked with dried tears. She was fiercely beautiful, despite the abuse she suffered.

“I see you don’t approve”, Marcellus smirked as he studied Aelius, “Wake the boy”.

The woman’s expression changed from anger and defiance to fear. Her eyes shot up at Aelius and for a split second it was as if they had communicated telepathically.

“No…” she whispered, shaking her head as Aelius gently picked Gael up and coaxed him awake, “No… please…”.

A swift kick to her midriff sent her sprawling on the ground gasping for air. The commotion woke Gael up and brought the other Legionaries to attention. They gathered around in a circle with Marcellus, Aelius, the woman and her son in the middle.

“Mommy?” Gael blinked and looked around in confusion. Aelius held on to him tightly, steeling himself for what was about to come next. Marcellus laughed sadistically at the sight of the woman writhing in pain with the air winded out of her, still gasping for air. He removed his belt and motioned for Gael to come to him. With some hesitation, Aelius lowered Gael down next to him, but the boy hung back, hiding behind his legs and clutching at his cloak.

“Come here boy”, Marcellus ordered, “I’m not going to hurt you”.

Gael looked up at Aelius, who had no choice but to offer a gentle nudge forward. He walked up shyly to Marcellus, who knelt to meet him at his eye level.

“What is your name?”

“Gael”, the boy answered shyly, his focus drifting to his gasping mother on the ground not five feet away. Marcellus grabbed his little jaw in his rough palm to direct his attention back to him.

“Well Gael, today is a very important day for you and your mommy. Do you know why?”

Gael gulped, blinking in confusion and dread but he stayed quiet, his eyes fixed on Marcellus.

“Today you start your lives as a Legionaries. But first you must pass a test”, Marcellus handed Gael the thick leather belt.

“Gael…”, the woman gasped, desperately trying to get up on her hands and knees. All Aelius could do was stand and watch as the events unfolded in front of him and he relived his own nightmare.

“To be a soldier, first you need to be a man Gael. To do that you must break away from your mother, because you are better and stronger than her in every way”, Marcellus smiled proudly at Gael, gently placing a hand on his shoulder, “Now, I’ll show you what you need to do, but if you want to pass the test you’ll have to carry on until I say stop. If you stop before I say so, I will hurt her. Do you understand?”

A small whimper escaped Gael’s lips, but he nodded. Marcellus took him by the hand and led him to his mother.

“Now, you take this end of the belt into your hand like so”, Marcellus instructed, standing behind the boy and keeping hold of his arm.

“No!” the woman screamed, launching herself at Marcellus and clawing at his face with every strength left in her body. She managed to draw a bit of blood before being kicked back to the ground by Marcellus.

“Hold her!” Marcellus commanded, and Valens swooped in, securing her arms tightly behind her back until she cried out in pain. At this point the whole group was electrified, with other soldiers laughing at the woman’s feeble attempts to protect her child and others jeering and shouting slurs at her.

“Come on boy! Show her you’re a man now!” Marcellus yelled over the shouting and jeering, pushing Gael towards his mother.

Gael looked around him in terror, shaking as tears streamed down his face. The others yelled shouts of support at him, egging him on. Finally, after almost a minute Marcellus got tired of the boy’s inaction and slapped him over the side of the head, grabbed his arm and pulled him towards his mother.

“Now watch how it’s done”, he grabbed the leather belt and looped it around his palm once, “Because you’re going to do this until I feel satisfied with your technique”.

The noise from the others was deafening now as they cheered their leader on. Marcellus spread his feet shoulder width apart and started whipping the woman. Every time the leather connected with her skin the others cheered. He was hitting her so hard Aelius could see fresh, oozing cuts on the side of her face, her back and legs.

“Mommy!” Gael cried, running between them and catching the last blow of the belt. It knocked him down and the boy screamed in pain. Aelius ran to him and picked him back up in his arms, holding him tight.

“Stupid child”, Marcellus grinned, “Must take after his mother. Put him down Aelius. One way or another we’re going to finish this”.

“No”, Aelius answered boldly, his voice low and steady. Something inside of him snapped, and he wasn’t going to watch on helplessly; even if it meant his death.

The camp went silent almost instantly at the open rebellion.

Marcellus dropped his belt and unholstered the gun on his side, “I will not ask you a second time”.

Aelius lowered Gael down and pushing him behind to shield him from further attacks, staring Marcellus down.  

“You’ve made your choice”, Marcellus sneered, aiming the gun at him.

Aelius braced himself for the end, but instead he heard a sickening sound as a silver arrow went through his leader’s neck. It took everyone by surprise. Marcellus’ eyes widened in shock as he dropped the gun and felt at the long object sticking through his neck, a sputtering of blood escaping his mouth as he gasped for air. Everyone watched on in silent shocked horror, until another arrow pierced Marcellus’ cranium and his limp body crumbled to the ground. Very quickly the situation turned from bad to worse. The Legionaries scrambled as they were attacked by a volley silver arrows from an invisible enemy, each meeting their targets with a similar sickening thud of metal piercing through skin and flesh. Aelius wasted no time in grabbing Gael and his mother, who was just as shocked by what was going on as everyone else.

“Come on!” he yelled over the yelling and blood curdling screams, dragging them both behind a small rock over cropping big enough for two to hide. He pressed against them, shielding them with his body in case they were attacked from behind. Adrenaline coursed through his body, heightening his senses and reflexes. An arrow whizzed past his left ear just shy of meeting its target. Not soon after their attackers revealed themselves. Over a dozen men, all painted in white cracked mud from head to toe, with human skull face plates and human bones wrapped around their bodies as armour. The mere sight of them gripped Aelius with fear.

“Cannibals!” he heard Domitius shout in the distance, “Defend your positions!”

“This is our chance to escape. Follow me”, Aelius whispered to the woman and Gael, who both nodded and held on tightly to him. Waiting for the moment when everyone was fully engaged in combat, Aelius bolted south with Gael in one arm and the woman keeping up beside him. A couple of arrows whizzed past them but they were far enough away to avoid being struck. They kept running until they couldn’t hear the battle going on behind them, carrying on south trying to keep away from dirt paths to avoid leaving tracks.

“Where…Where are we going?” the woman panted, slowing down to walk behind him.

“No! Don’t stop now, keep running!”, Aelius called.

“I can’t… I can’t keep up. I need a second”, she panted, coming to a complete stop, wincing in pain and clutching her sides.

Aelius turned back, grabbed her by the wrist and started pulling her along until she yanked her arm back and lashed out at him.

“Don’t touch me you son of a bitch!” she spat, pulling Gael out from under his arm, “I’ll fucking kill you!”

Aelius held up his arms by his sides nonthreateningly, “If we stop now, we’re both dead!”. But his words didn’t seem to have much of an impact.

“I’m not going anywhere with _you_ ”, her eyes seethed bitterness and fury. After what she had endured at his camp, her response didn’t surprise him.   

“What do you propose then?”

She looked around them, trying to get her bearings with Gael squirming in her arms, “We go our separate ways”.

Aelius scoffed, “Our best chance of survival is to stick together”.

“Not a chance”, she snarled, “I won’t forget you sticking your neck out for my son back there, but you’re a soldier of the Legion”.

“Not anymore. Please, don’t make another mistake”, Aelius beseeched her.

“The _only_ mistake I could ever make is to trust you! If you follow us, I _will_ kill you”, she warned him, taking the westerly path downhill towards more level ground and away from the cliffs with Gael clinging on to her.  There was nothing Aelius could do or say to change her mind. As he watched them walk further and further away from him, worry and fear began to set in. Time was already wasted bickering, time enough for whoever survived to come chasing after them. Aelius carried on south keeping to the rough terrain. Whatever happened to Gael and his mother now was up to her. He hoped that wherever she ended up that she would eventually find peace and recover from her ordeal; but his gut feeling was telling him that this wasn’t the last he’d see of them.


	3. When Life Gives You Lemons

Dying light from the sunset turned the valley a warm, fiery orange colour that overwhelmed the senses. There was a stark beauty to this barren land with an alien air about it, as though you were transported to a parallel dimension that hadn’t suffered a nuclear war over 200 years ago. But there was no time to admire the surroundings as the chill of the night was waiting for the last rays to fade behind the horizon; and especially when fleeing a recent altercation with the Legion and the cannibal tribe of the wastes. Ash held her son tightly in her arms, fearing that if she let go someone would try to steal him away from her again. Gael was her pride, life, and joy; the last remaining memory of her late husband.

Weary and suffering the after effects of her abuse and the adrenaline rush of their escape, she knew they needed to find shelter fast before last light. It was fortunate that she stumbled by an outcropping in the ground that was downwind and just big enough for her and Gael to huddle down in. It wasn’t much, but it would protect them from the evening wind’s chill and hide them should anyone come looking for them.

“We’ll rest here for the night”, she spoke softly to Gael, wrapping him up in the crimson cloak she took from the Legionary soldier who helped them escape. For a moment she wondered where he was now and, more importantly, why did he help them escape? No doubt he was long gone by now or caught by the cannibals. The thought made her screw up her face in disgust. Shaking her head from the memory, she curled up next to Gael and let him wriggle to get into a more comfortable position. Watching her boy relax in her arms and drift off to sleep, she mouthed a silent prayer for God to keep them safe.

* * *

 

A cold sunrise woke Aelius from his slumber, making him shiver underneath his thin cloak. Condensation formed from his breath, floating steadily away from him in the still air. Though he’d managed to get maybe an hour or two worth of sleep in the night, he couldn’t fully relax as every little noise shook him awake; though thankfully he was still alive. No one had found him, no one came looking. He wondered if everyone from his scouting party had successfully pushed back the attack from the cannibals or if they were dead; he hoped for the latter as they were not good men.

Squinting in the bright morning light while surveying the area, wrapping his cloak tightly over himself, Aelius was at a loss as to what to do next. He certainly couldn’t stay where he was or he would perish from exposure, and he couldn’t bring himself to go back to the Legion.

 _‘What about Olivia and Hannah? Are you going to leave your sisters in the Legion to suffer and die in misery?’_ a remorseful thought came to him, making him freeze in panic. How could he just up and leave, deserting his sisters and mother to a horrific fate. He promised himself that he would get them out. A panic started to spread from his mind that made him spiral into despair. Going back would mean certain death, whether it was because word had gotten back to the Legion about his desertion or further down the line when his superiors send him to fight another battle with a savage and brutal tribe. Life expectancy as a Legionary under Caesar’s rule was short and a brutal death came for everyone eventually. If he did go back and no one knew about his actions here, he’d still be faced with the difficult task of finding his family; getting them out unnoticed would be practically impossible. For years he had held out hope that he could save them one day. Now, tears streamed down his face as he came to the realisation that he was probably never going to see his sisters or his mother ever again; he had to accept that.

Gasping for air and angrily wiping the tears off his face, he secured his machete to his belt and began carefully traversing down the rocky face, backtracking his way to the last spot he was with Gael and his mother before they split up. He had to do something and a gut feeling was telling him to go back and find Gael. Aelius could survive on his own in the wilderness, especially in this harsh environment; but it would be extremely difficult for someone who isn’t familiar with the land _and_ with a small child in tow to navigate their way through the Canyonlands. The least he could do was try to find them and guide them somewhere safe and away from the Legion’s long shadow.

* * *

 

A cool and refreshing breeze drifting into the room from a small open window carrying the sweet scent of food and the soft sound of a windchime in the distance, brushed over Joshua’s cheek enough to make him stir. Weakly blinking his eyes open, it took him a moment to recognise that he wasn’t in a dream. He was lying on a clean bed in someone’s room, his body wrapped in bandages; there was a faint astringent smell of medicinal herbs. Lifting his arm to examine, he found that there were indeed leaves stuffed under his bandages.

 _‘Where am I?’_ , he thought curiously, his mind recollecting the last memories before he lost consciousness. Taking some time to absorb his new surroundings, he found the room to be rustic though quite beautiful. The bed he was on was pushed up against the right corner of the room and at the foot of the bed was a wooden trunk with his clothes folded neatly on top of it on one side and a new set of clothes folded next to them. In fact, it looked like someone had gone through the trouble of cleaning and mending them for him. It seemed that whoever took him in meant him no ill will, though it did give Joshua a pang of guilt; if his hosts only knew the ferocity he unleashed on countless innocents, they may have reserved their kindness for someone more…deserving.  

Joshua winced, propping himself up so he could try to get a glimpse out of the open window. It looked to be early in the afternoon with a gloriously blue sky all the way to the horizon. He glimpsed other houses around the area, and as he listened, he could hear children playing in the distance. Everything felt almost too good to be true.

Pulling the sheets back he observed the handiwork of his healers. It seemed the burns he suffered around his midsection and for 2/3 of his thighs weren’t as bad, which made sense as the armour he wore when he was set alight offered the most protection. Moving still felt excruciatingly painful and it didn’t help that he was in a severely weakened physical state. Managing to sit up on the edge of the bed with a silent groan, he noticed a blue metal jug with a short clean whiskey glass on a bedside table next to him. It was quite delicate, with folk style hand painted flowers on one side; but what caught Joshua’s eye more than anything was the dripping condensation on the surface. He leaned toward it, examining the contents curiously. Until he saw the clear liquid in the jug, he hadn’t realised how thirsty he was. Just as he had a mind to reach over and pour himself a drink, the sound of soft footsteps outside the door to his room immobilised him. In walked a woman whose presence took Joshua’s breath away. She opened the door gently in an attempt not to rouse her guest, but when she looked up and saw Joshua sitting on the edge of the bed, his grey blue eyes wide in surprise, she was startled.

“Oh! I’m sorry, hope we didn’t wake you”, she apologised, still holding on to the door in hesitant anticipation, “I keep telling the kids to keep it down, but they are a playful bunch. Did you want me to give you some privacy?”

Joshua simply stared at her at a loss for what to say. She wore a patched button-down faded denim dress with mid-calf cowboy style ankle boots, and her lightly tousled hair was the colour of white desert sand. There was a warmth to her that seemed to stagger and render him mute.

The woman teetered on her heel while she patiently waited for Joshua to give her an answer, her eyes darting awkwardly around from him to the floor and door. When he didn’t reply, she tilted her head to one side and simpered, “You must be thirsty. Here, let me pour you some water”, she helped herself in and pushed the door close behind her. He watched her as she pulled up a chair close to him, poured the cool water in the whiskey glass and lightly placed it in his hand. Every movement of her body was graceful, though there was a slight quirkiness to her that kept him guessing.  

Recognising that he was being rude to his generous host, Joshua took a drink of the cold water, savouring the sweetness of it, “Thank you, miss….”

“Mary”, she smiled, revealing two dimples in her cheeks. Joshua didn’t realise it at first glance, but she had two different coloured eyes. Her right eye was bright green and the left an icy blue; it made her every more fascinating and beautiful to look at. “How are you feeling?”

Joshua broke his gaze from her and slowly looked himself over, “Much better, thank you. I must thank your doctor, or healer, for these bandages. It is…soothing”.

“Ah! Well, you’re welcome”, she took his empty glass and set it on the bedside table and crossed her legs.

“You did this?” Joshua asked somewhat embarrassed. He could feel himself blushing as he wondered how much of his exposed skin did she see.

Mary nodded, “Yeah”, she looked him over, focusing her attention on the areas where some of the bandages were moved and the medicinal plants were poking out, “We’ll have to change your dressings before dinner though”.

“Where… Where am I?” Joshua asked, “And how long have I been… here?”

“New Canaan”, she answered, “We’re at my cabin. It’s about a ten-minute walk outside of the town. Daniel and Gregory found you a couple of days ago while out hunting for geckos. Brought you straight back. Can’t imagine the stir your arrival caused in town”.

Joshua’s eyes widened in surprise and almost welled up with tears. He was home.

“You wouldn’t happen to know if Dawn Graham is still around?” he asked.

Mary smiled and nodded, “She is. She took to running the town after William passed a few years back. She’ll be glad to know that you're awake”.

Mary’s response puzzled Joshua for a moment, until he figured that she must have known who he was.

“…Do you know me?”

“I know _of_ you, Mr. Graham”, Mary answered, the smile waning slightly from her features, “But we’ve never met. I’m…not a local. I moved here almost a decade ago from another settlement in the North. Your people were kind enough to take me in and help me build this cabin”.

“I see…”, he answered, mulling over her answer and feeling himself getting swept up by old memories that came flooding back in waves.

“You must be starved”, Mary uncrossed her legs and stood up, pulling the chair back to its original spot, “I have some hot food on the stove, would you like me to bring you some?”

Roused from his rambling memories, Joshua nodded, “That’s very kind of you”. Just as Mary left to bring him some food, Joshua noticed embarrassingly that he must have looked a sight dressed only in his dark grey boxer underwear and his burned skin wrapped in bandages. Grabbing hold of the bedside table for a little support, he forced himself to stand up, biting back a pained yelp as he felt his sore legs strain to get him fully upright. Taking deep breaths in, he slowly walked over to the trunk where his new clothes were folded and put them on. When Mary walked in carrying his plate of food shortly after she almost dropped it in surprise.

“Oh! I’m sorry, I should have helped you with that”, she blushed, feeling daft that she didn’t think of helping him into his clothes first before getting his meal.

Joshua shook his head, “I managed”, he sighed, the weight of the clothes feeling uncomfortable on his still sore skin, “I thought I’d join you at the table for the meal; if that's alright?”

Mary’s features lit up in delighted surprise, “Of course! I will just go set the table”. She turned to move then stopped and looked him over as if to ask a question, but thought better of it and quickly went into the dining area; busying herself with setting up the table.

Joshua made his way out of the bedroom, down the short hallway and into a spacious room that was a combined living and dining room, with the kitchen nestled in a separate room at the back. A table was already set next to a large open window overlooking the small town of New Canaan, and what a beautiful view it was. It appeared that the whole cabin was made from sturdy wood,perched just a few feet away from a drop in the rocky over cropping that it was built on, looking down the hill with a clear view of the horizon. All around them were green fruit bearing bushes, trees, and crops. Mostly corn, wheat, and some root vegetables from what Joshua could discern.  

Mary hastily walked to the table, setting down a basket filled with small bread loaves and a glass jug filled with liquid next to their plates filled with what looked like a vegetable stew, before going back into the kitchen to fetch them some glasses.

“Make yourself comfortable, I’ll be right there”, she called as she rummaged in some cabinets.

Joshua sat down at the table with a wince, wondering whether this pain would ever subside.

“This smells delicious”, he commented, catching whiffs of the food that made him salivate.

Mary smiled as she came back into the room carrying two metal cups for their drink and sat down opposite him, “Thank you. The harvest has been good to us this year”.

Joshua poured them both full glasses of drink, which looked like slightly murky yellow water. Noticing the doubt and confusion in Joshua’s eyes, Mary explained that it was a drink called lemonade.

“Did you make it?” Joshua asked, intrigued as he took the cup to his nose and sniffed the aromatically sweet yet biting liquid in his cup. The aroma was refreshing, clean and comforting.

“Yes, though it is a bit of a process”, Mary chuckled, “I had to grow my own lemon trees to make it. It’s taken four years to get enough lemons to make a jug of lemonade”.

The taste took Joshua by surprise. It was acidic, yet sweet and strongly aromatic and drinking it made him feel more alert and awake. “I like it!” he exclaimed.

The meal they had was equally delicious and rich, which was surprising as it only consisted of vegetables. The bread loaves that Mary brought in was also freshly made corn bread, still warm in the centre from their bake in the oven. Joshua had to slow his pace to avoid wolfing the food down; he would have hated for his host to think of him a savage.

“If you are feeling up to it later, we can go down into town before dinner time. I know your family are eager to see and speak with you”, Mary suggested, handing him another loaf of corn bread after watching him in amusement as he eyed the basket hungrily but refrained from taking seconds.

 _‘My family…’_  Joshua thought longingly, his eyes straying at the view of his home out of the window.

“I would like that”, Joshua answered with a sore longing in his heart. He didn’t know how his family would react when he revealed to them his sins against mankind, but he hoped that they would see that even though he was a sinner, he had been saved.

 


	4. Last Man Standing

Two days had passed since Aelius set off to find Gael and his mother and he could sense that he was gaining on them. Less than a few hours ago he came across a spot where Gael and his mother had taken shelter, an outcropping in the ground. He found imprints in the soft soil of what could only be that of a small child and a woman. Only once did he almost lose track of their footprints but that was due to previous night’s winds that obscured them. He kept a steady walking pace, conserving his energy for more immediate needs and stopping only for short meals when he was able to catch small prey or came across some edible plants and fruits. One thing that his training in the Legion had taught him well was how to anticipate being stalked by wildlife and how to deal with an attack.

Every Legionary soldier went through brutal survival training for several months; it wasn't unusual for at least 10% of the starting group to perish within the first month's course. The biggest and most dangerous predator in these parts were radscorpions. Measuring at over ten feet in length and as tall as Aelius, the adult radscorpions were the biggest threat; smaller ones tended to stay away from people. A radscorpion used its powerful stinger to incapacitate its prey and its claws for dismembering its victims. Aelius recalled one of the first gruesome images he'd seen when the Legion put him into survival training; an image that would haunt him for the rest of his life. One of the new recruits, a boy no older than 11, was lagging behind the group and attacked by an adult radscorpion. The Legionary soldiers forced them all to watch as the beast ate the poor boy while he was still alive... all the while listening to the soldiers lecture them in a condescending tone about the mistakes the boy had made, while he screamed in agony, begging for help that never came.  Adult radscorpions normally burrowed in the ground during the day and wandered at night for easy prey to catch and eat; Aelius hoped that wherever the two of them were that they were able to find a safe place for the nights and weren’t ambushed as they slept.

As Aelius tracked the footprints, he came across another larger set that concerned him. He knelt next to the tracks to examine them closer. From their shape and direction, there was no doubt that it was another human being following the first set of footprints. From the tread, Aelius could tell it was a man, but he didn't know whether it was made by a Legionary, cannibal, or someone else...

He picked up the pace, keeping his attention on the tracks and hoping that if he did find them that they would be alive and all in one piece.

 

* * *

 

Water. All Ash could think about was how much she needed it. The way her dry tongue scraped at the roof of her mouth felt like fingernails on chalkboard. After surviving the first night when they broke free from the Legionary soldiers, Ash and Gael were barely surviving in the desert. Catching some early morning dew off of rocks and pinyon nut leaves helped somewhat but didn’t do much to satisfy their thirst, and the last meal they had was a helping of some unripe banana yucca about two days ago. If they didn’t find a steady supply of water and food, they weren’t going to make it.

_‘Maybe I should have stayed with the Legionary soldier’_ , Ash thought dispiritedly. A frantic thought crossed her mind as she looked at Gael sleeping in her arms whether it was too late to turn back. He had developed a slight fever overnight and it wasn’t going away. She needed to find a source of water soon. She didn’t care about what happened to her, she just wanted Gael to be alive and healthy. If the Legionary soldier was still alive, maybe she could find him.

_‘You’ve_ just _escaped those Legion scum, and now you want to go back to one of them for help?!’_ she thought as a wave of nausea and disgust bubbled from within her. No, there was no turning back. Ash blocked her desperation and focused on what needed to be done. Their first priority was to find water and once they did their situation would improve.

As high noon came, Ash found a safe place with some shade and settled Gael down to check on him. She felt his forehead with her palm and grew concerned that his fever was slowly getting worse. It stirred a panic deep within her.

“Hey little man”, she lightly ran her fingers through his hair to pull it away from his face, “How are you feeling?”

Gael’s brow furrowed but he kept his eyes shut and groaned groggily in response. It made Ash want to run and scream for help. She bit back a sob and tried to make him more comfortable by bundling him up in the shade while she took a moment to gain a better view of their surroundings. Clambering up to the top of the rock, she squinted and shielded her eyes from the harsh light. There was nothing but flat land in front of her and the canyon cliffs to her left. A heat haze over the horizon prevented her from seeing what’s ahead of them. She bit her cracked lower lip, wondering whether it was wise to rest her weary feet for a while. She turned around to see behind her if anyone was following but couldn’t see far from the haze. Something in the distance did catch her eye though, a small spot that seemed to dance on the horizon. It was almost impossible to determine what it was. Ash decided that whatever it was, there was quite a distance between them and she shakily climbed down the rock, feeling her body weak from the dehydration she was suffering. Huddling next to Gael and stroking his fine hair, she quickly fell into a dreamless sleep, unaware the object she couldn’t discern on the horizon was headed their way and moving quickly.

 

* * *

 

Sweat dripped off of Aelius’ brow as he jogged following the tracks in a north westerly direction. Darkness was spreading around him as the last rays of the sunset disappeared behind the horizon, and with the darkness came the chill of the night. Aelius could already see steam coming off of his body while he ran, trying to tread lightly on the ground so as not to alert any predators to attack.

Gael and his mother were still alive, of that he was certain. Not too far back he had passed a rocky outcropping where they had invariably stopped for a rest, with the larger set of footprints still following them. They must not have realised that someone was following them. He picked up his pace, fearing that any moment he lost would be too late.

 

* * *

 

It was pitch black by the time Ash and Gael waded into a stream of cold water. The shock made her yelp and jump back in surprise. For a while as they were walking she could hear the sound of rushing water, but the moon hadn’t made its appearance yet and she couldn’t see anything in the pitch black of the night. Ash’s eyes were open so wide to see any detail in front of her that she could feel the strain in her face starting to cause a headache. She felt her way around and gently placed Gael down where she felt dry earth before moving back to the stream and taking a deep drink in her cupped hand. She was so thirsty that she didn’t even consider if the steam was safe for drinking. Luckily it was running water and it tasted clean enough to her.

“Hey darling, wake up”, she coaxed Gael to open his eyes and take a drink of cool water. He was so weak that she had to cup some water in her hand and trickle it in his parched mouth. As soon as he realised what was going on, he started waking up and moving a bit more.

“Mom?” he groaned, “I don’t feel so good”.

“I know baby”, Ash replied in a hushed and comforting voice, “You gotta hang in there for a little while longer, we’re almost there. Just a couple more days”. She gave Gael some more to drink before cleaning his warm face with some water from the stream, running her wet fingers through his hair to help cool him down from his fever. Without any light, there was no way of telling how large this stream was and whether it was safe to cross, so Ash decided to wait a while until there was some more natural light before moving on. But as she was busying herself over Gael’s fever, she thought she heard something behind them. Her head whipped back in the direction the rustling came from, holding her breath and clutching Gael close to her body. She wanted to call out and ask who was there, but she knew that was stupid. Fear gripped her and she tried to make herself and Gael as small as possible. It was possible that it was only a wild coyote or insect, though Ash had a growing feeling that they were being followed since the day they escaped.

As her eyes began to adjust to the low light, she was able to discern some features around her. There was something behind them as she could see faint outlines of a human figure moving towards them. Her heart began to pound in her ears as instinct and fear took over. Cradling Gael in her arms and sticking close to the ground, she silently moved to crouch next to a large rock for cover, pressing her back to its rough and sharp surface. A few minutes later she heard heavy footsteps on the gravelly ground not far from where she waded into the water before stopping. Ash leaned forward, taking a peak. Although she couldn’t see his features she knew she’d seen him before; it was one of the Legionary soldiers that found her. He was a man not yet in his twenties, but Ash would never forget the vicious look on his face that day; a depraved hunger in his eyes as they ran up and down her body. She pulled back and held Gael tightly to her, wishing she could disappear. Time passed for several agonising minutes and there were no other sounds coming from behind her, Ash wondered if he’d lost their trail and moved off in the other direction. The thought gave her some hope; after all, there was no way to see with any detail without a proper source of light. She leaned forward again to take another peak behind her cover and couldn’t see anyone there. It wasn’t until she felt a droplet of water on her cheek that she looked up and saw the man’s figure looming over them. Ash screamed in fright and sprinted away from the rock as hard as her legs would carry her. She started wading into the water before she felt rough arms grab hold of her and twist her back around, tossing her hard into the shallow water. Clutching Gael in her arms who was wide awake and in distress, Ash landed on her back and pushed Gael away.

“RUN! RUN Gael!” she screamed behind him before being pulled back by her ankle and coming face to face with her attacker. He pushed her into the water until her head was fully submerged and all she could hear around her was rushing water and her own heartbeat. She fought back, kicking and clawing at his legs and face.

“AH! Fucking bitch!” he lifted her out of the water and threw her with such force that she fell back onto dry land.

Gasping for breath and eyes wide in panic, Ash scrambled to her feet and turned around to face him, picking up a rock in one hand as a weapon. If she could distract him and make him focus his attention on her, Gael would have a better chance of escaping.

He moved towards her, laughing at her as she took up a defensive stance.

“You really think you can fight _me_?” he spat, kicking up dirt and dust at her, “Well come on then, let’s see what you got”.

Ash hurled the rock at him and got him squarely in the stomach, but it didn’t do much to stop him from lunging at her and knocking her to the ground with a powerful punch. She struggled to get back up, a loud ringing in her ears and seeing stars around the corners of her eyes distracted her. Shaking her head, she tried to land a punch between his legs but he quickly skirted her blow and kicked her in the stomach so hard it knocked the air out of her lungs. She was sure she felt a rib or two crack from the blow, but was so winded and in shock that the pain didn’t register completely. Laying on her side and clutching at her stomach, she knew it was pointless to even try to fight. A despairing thought crossed her mind that it was very likely she was going to die this night; like her husband, she would be just another victim of the Legion’s savagery. The soldier kicked her again, laughing at her as she writhed in agony and gasped for breath.

“You’re not going to enjoy this”, he sneered, kneeling next to her and yanked her by her hair until she screamed in agony. Though before he could do anything, Ash heard fast paced heavy footsteps and something launched itself at her assailant, knocking him away from her.

Ash blinked the tears out of her eyes, desperate to see what was going on. There was another man standing over her, much larger than her attacker. She couldn’t really see his face as it was covered in a wrap, but there was no doubt that it was another Legionary soldier.

“You stupid son of a bitch”, the aggressor snarled through gasps, “What are you doing?!”

“It’s over Valens, you don’t have to do this”.

“Over? It’s not over! That bitch and her spawn belong to the Legion!” he pointed at Ash who was slowly getting back up onto shaky feet next to her savior, “And after what happened back at camp, we’re going to need more breeding stock to replace all our fallen men”.

“You seriously want to go back there?! Our troupe is dead! There are no witnesses. This is our chance to escape the Legion and live free!”

“There is nothing BUT the Legion Aelius!” Valens screamed at him, “I should have known you’re a coward. If you want to leave, then _LEAVE_ , but I’m taking that profligate back to the Legion”.

“Over my dead body”, Aelius snarled, moving between Ash and Valens.

“As you wish”, Valens launched himself at Aelius, pulling out his machete in an arch above his head and aiming for his collarbone.

Aelius pushed Ash away from the fight and parried Valens’ attack with his own machete, catching him in the face with a swift elbow jab. Valens staggered back, grunting in frustration and pain but quickly recovered and viciously swung his weapon, slicing through Aelius’ worn leather chest plate. Aelius felt the sharp metal bite into his flesh but carried on fighting as though Valens never touched him. Not permitting another invitation for an attack, Aelius launched himself at Valens, picked him up and body slammed him into ground with a force that almost knocked him out cold. He yanked his machete out of Valens’ grip, tossing it to the side and wrapped his hand around Valens’ throat, squeezing tightly while pressing him into the ground.

“Ssss….stop” Valens gurgled, trying without success to pry Aelius’ hand away, “I….yield”.

“I can’t”, Aelius shook his head, sweat still dripping off him, “If I let you live, you’ll go back and bring the Frumentarii with you”. He could feel Valens’ heartbeat in his hand and his throat wriggling to try to get enough air.

“I...won’t. I swear”

“Kill him!” Ash yelled behind him, “Don’t listen to him, he _will_ come back with the others”.

“Shut up!” Aelius yelled at her, still keeping his grip on Valens. The truth was he didn’t want to kill anyone anymore. There had been enough suffering and death in his life in the Legion, now more than anything he wanted to leave that world behind him. How could he do that with another death on his hands?

Aelius’ grip loosened, just enough to allow Valens to catch a few rasping breaths, “I let you live, and you leave us alone. You tell them we’re presumed dead and that you didn’t go back to find us after the attack; understand?”

Valens nodded eagerly, “As you say”.

“You swear it?”

“I swear”.

Aelius let him go, not bothering to help him up as he moved away.

“No!” Ash screamed, hurling herself at Valens only to be intercepted and caught in Aelius’ arms, “No! Kill him! He’s not going to let us go!”

“Quiet!” Aelius yelled back at her, pushing her away from him. She started punching his chest in anger, tears streaming down her face. He let her pummel his chest as hard as her arms would let her and, although she did land some painful blows, he didn’t try to stop her. Ash wanted vengeance more than anything; she wanted to get back at the Legion for raping her, threatening to indoctrinate her child as one of their soldiers, and for taking her husband away from them.

“Why?! If you can’t do it, I will!”

“That’s enough!” he pushed he back, making her stagger, “No more killing! I’m done with it”.

“Mom?!” Gael’s voice called her some distance behind, bringing her back to her senses. She landed one final blow of protest on Aelius’s wide chest before running back to her son.

“Are you okay?” she picked him up and felt his face, arms and legs for injuries, “Are you hurt?”

“No”, Gael sobbed, clutching onto her, “Did he hurt you?”

“No sweetie, I’m okay”, she consoled her son, carrying him back to the Legionary soldier that had saved them. Now that she understood why he rescued them when the Legionary camp was attacked, she was more inclined to trust him.

As Ash carried Gael back with her, she noticed that the other Legionary had got up and was fumbling with something on the ground. When he straightened back up she realised he had picked up a sizeable rock and snuck up behind Aelius.

“Behind you!” she yelled, but before Aelius could react Valens had already struck a hard blow, knocking him to the ground on all fours. She put Gael down on the ground and ran at Valens, catching him in the stomach and almost toppling him over. He grabbed hold of her as he lost his balance and landed on top of her, choking her with his hands around her neck.

“You are more trouble than you’re worth. I might just kill you right now”, he sneered and tightened his grip until Ash started to see stars. Kicking and punching to get him off of her only made him angrier and his grip tightened until Ash couldn’t fight anymore. Her whole body went limp as tunnel vision began to set in, what she saw and heard next made her think that she was hallucinating. She felt hot drops rain on her exposed skin that tasted like iron, and all of a sudden her airways were clear. Coughing and gasping for air, her vision came back and what she saw made Ash wish she was still unconscious. Still on top of her and alive, Valens poked a sharp object sticking out of his chest. His eyes were so wide and mouth opened and closed in silent horror as he went limp and fell on his side. Ash kicked herself away from him, still coughing and wheezing from her ordeal.

“I didn’t want to do this… but you gave me no choice”, Aelius whispered sombrely, standing over Valens. He pulled out the machete from his chest and watched one of the most vile and vicious men he’d known expire.

 

* * *

 

Joshua grew stronger with each passing day, and as his strength grew the memories of what happened to him after being doused with pitch, set on fire and tossed in the canyon started coming back to him. He was still at a loss as to how he even survived; no doubt it must have been God's will that he survives. Now he had to figure out what his purpose was, and that was proving harder than he imagined. For so long he had lived with a growing darkness in his heart that he forgot what his life was like before the Legion. Maybe this was his chance to make amends, to do the right thing by guiding the lost and non-believers with peace and understanding as he did before Edward instead of violence and prejudice.

The day he woke and went down into town with Mary, he professed his sins to everyone. He half expected to be met with disgust and anger, possibly even exiled from New Canaan for his unforgivable actions; he knew he deserved nothing less. To his surprise, he was welcomed back with open arms. The townsfolk already knew of his sins before he even arrived. Word had spread of Edward Sallow and his Legion, how they absorbed other tribes and brought terror and death to their enemies. Even so, they forgave him and treated him no different than they did when he lived there as a young man.

It was early evening and the sun was setting just over the horizon. Joshua sat in one of Dawn's comfortable armchairs in the kitchen as those around him prepared for the evening meal. Still wrapped up in bandages stuffed with the healing herbs that Mary instructed his family to apply on a daily basis, Joshua was beginning to feel better; though it was difficult to ever get comfortable. His skin would never be fully healed. The flames had distorted much of his skin that was exposed to the flames, leaving it red and wrinkled looking in some areas and smooth and shiny in others. In truth, he felt as if his skin was shrink wrapped where he was burned. Sometimes he feared that if he stretched too much or twisted a little too enthusiastically that it would tear like a thin, worn out fabric. Nevertheless, he was grateful to be alive and be with his family again.

Dawn had organised a town feast in honour of Joshua's recovery, and everyone was invited. The air buzzed with chatter and laughter from the children as the adults prepared food and set a long table in the middle of the street. Even though his people had forgiven him, the guilt and memories of what he did built in Joshua's mind every day.

"Joshua?" Dawn's soft voice called next to him, "What's wrong? Are you not well?"

Joshua shook his head and tried to wipe the thoughts from his mind, "I'm alright, Dawn. I just keep thinking..."

Dawn gazed down at him knowingly and pulled a stool to her so she could sit close and be with her nephew, "I know... The burden you bear is… well, it’s the heaviest weight you are going to have to carry in your heart for the rest of your life".

"You have no idea", it took every bit of his strength to stop his voice from breaking, "I don't deserve this".

Dawn sat up a bit straighter in her seat, a frown set in her already wrinkled features, "That's not true Joshua, and you know this in your heart. Whatever you have done, there is no sin that God will not forgive if we repent. And you _have_ my dear!" she gently took his bandaged hand in hers, "I can see it, as do the others. God has spared you your life because he saw the _guilt_ within you and found you worthy of his forgiveness. Do not waste it away burrowing deeper in despair", she smiled, lowering her head to try to meet his averting gaze. Dawn was not an easy woman to ignore. Though she was nearing 80 years of age, her smile was just as bright as he first remembered.

"You're right", Joshua relented, looking up at her ruefully, "I will try to remember that".

Dawn smiled and gently pressed her palm on the side of his cheek. Even at her age she was a striking woman, with fine white hair pulled back in a modest bun, skin slightly mottled in places from years of working in the fields and strong reassuring hands that felt like they would catch you if you fell.

"Now, the main meal is almost done. I think we are ready to have our guest of honour sit at our table", she beamed, taking his hand and leading him outside.

Joshua's jaw almost dropped at the sight of the setting. The long table was beautifully set with a crocheted table runner down the middle stitched with floral folk patterns and candle lit fairy lights in glass jars strung up above them running in a row pattern, giving the whole street a warm and welcoming glow. Dawn showed him to his seat at the middle of the table and poured him a drink of blackberry juice while they waited for others to finish setting up and take a seat. Joshua's attention was caught by the stitching pattern on the table runner and now that he thought about it, it reminded him a little of the floral folk art he saw in Mary's cabin. He had been so consumed with catching up with everyone that he hadn't realised he'd not seen Mary in almost two weeks.

"Will Mary be joining us tonight?" he asked, sipping on the refreshingly sweet drink.

"Of course! She wouldn't miss this for the world", Mary beamed, "I see you're admiring her handiwork. She is very creative with the needle and thread".

"Yes... I suppose she is", Joshua ran a finger on the pattern, feeling the little bumps where the stitching was done expertly. He had wondered about her, about why she lived away from the immediate protection of the town. She was a healer, a doctor in the town she lived before coming to New Canaan, but he didn’t know any details or why she moved. He felt an urge to learn all he could about the woman who cared for him, “What can you tell me about her?"

Dawn sighed and looked off into the distance thoughtfully, "A tragic story... A couple of our boys found her and two children, a young boy and girl, while out doing missionary work in the north. She was barely alive when they brought her in. Poor dear".

"Where did she come from?"

“Honeyville”, Dawn answered, pouring herself a glass of cooled sweet agave and melon flower tea.

“I don’t understand. If she and those children were the last survivors, I should think they wouldn’t want to live on their own on a hill”.

“They didn’t. But… Oh! It’s a tediously long story and honestly not worth repeating”.

Joshua’s interest was piqued, “Okay, now you really have my attention”.

With an exasperated sigh, Dawn started fussing over the way the food was arranged and the place mats. She had a habit of fidgeting whenever she didn’t want to talk about something she felt uncomfortable with and, evidently, this habit didn’t change over the years.

“Dawn, please”.

“She’s… a Quaker”, Dawn responded with some hesitation, “When William tried to speak with her, to show her the teachings of our Lord, they had an argument. A big one. She was stubborn and refused to listen, and so was William. _There was no saving her_ according to him, so he thought it best if she and the two children didn’t live in the town”, Dawn sighed.

“She didn’t want to convert so William’s response was to kick her and those two children out?” Joshua asked in shocked surprise. This was not like them, to push away the innocent and allow them to fend for themselves.

Dawn visibly slumped in her seat, as if a weight had been dropped on her shoulders, “They weren’t kicked out. We all helped to build that wonderful cabin”.

“A cabin that’s ten minutes away from the town”, Joshua retorted, “What if they need help?”

“We’ve given her some of our best rifles and we have someone check in on them at least once a day”.

Joshua couldn’t believe what he was hearing, so much so that he started chuckling. It was either laugh at the absurdity of the way the situation was handled by those who were older and supposedly wiser than him, or storm off; and he didn’t want to get into an argument with his aunt.

“I don’t see what’s so funny”, Dawn frowned at him.

“Quakers are pacifists. They _don’t_ _use_ weapons”, he answered trying to keep his voice calm while feeling frustrated with the way the situation was dealt. He knew William was a man who was prone to outbursts and that, despite the teachings in the Holy Texts instructing otherwise, he was a prideful man. In fact, while growing up, Joshua rarely ever heard him apologise to anyone for the harsh words he said; even to his own wife. The way it sounded, Mary must have said something that William simply couldn’t handle and the only response he saw fit was to put a physical distance between them. This realisation deepened his curiosity and admiration for Mary.

Dawn folded her hands on her lap, sipped her tea and bit her tongue, not wanting to get into a row over an issue that was settled years ago, “I know that. Either way, she has a means to defend herself if she chooses. Though I must say, you seem quite taken with our Quaker friend”, she cocked an eyebrow.

“I admire those who stand up for themselves and their beliefs against the odds in front of them”.

Shooting him a knowing look, a hint of a smirk caught the corner of Dawn’s lips, “Mhmm, one of her more _endearing_ qualities I suspect; though _I_ wouldn’t know”.

It took a moment for Joshua to realise what his aunt was referring to, and when it finally dawned on him what she was insinuating he felt his heart quicken and heat flush through his whole body. Her allegation wasn’t untrue. Though the time they spent was brief, he did find that he enjoyed Mary’s company. She was a charming, intelligent and beautiful woman unlike any other he’d ever known, yet part of him felt disgust for having such budding feelings for her, that he didn’t deserve that kind of attention from someone as kind and good as her. “Grow up Dawn”, he brushed her hint aside, allowing the guilt to bubble and fester inside of him.  

His aunt smiled and placed a loving hand on his shoulder, “My dear, it’s not a sin to admit that you like someone. And Mary is a wonderful woman, we are incredibly lucky to have her with us”.

“Then why keep her at arm’s length?”

“Because she likes things the way they are”, Dawn answered honestly, “I managed to smooth the ruffled feathers between William and Mary eventually, but by that time her cabin was completed she had already settled in. She’s perfectly content there, as are those two children. It is entirely up to her where she lives, and she has chosen to live in the cabin”, Dawn got up slowly and straightened out the wrinkles in her dress before giving Joshua a kiss on the top of his head and joined the others to help bring out the rest of the food.

Joshua sat in silence contemplating his aunt’s words. Part of him felt giddy at experiencing these new emotions, and another part felt contempt that he would even dare. In his mind he wasn’t deserving of that kind of attention, let alone now that the exterior matched the terrifying monster that he had become in the Legion. As Caesar’s Legate, he witnessed atrocities committed against women and children, and although being one of Caesar’s highest-ranking soldiers gave him the right to pick any woman he desired, he never did. Instead he focused his attention into conquering new tribes, while Caesar indulged himself with a harem. He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he hadn’t realised the table was complete and laden with food and that almost everyone had made it to their seats by now.

“Hello again”, a familiar voice shook him back to reality. Joshua’s wide-eyed gaze snapped up and he saw Mary standing expectantly next to him. “May I join you?”. Her mere presence melted away at his guilt and Joshua found himself feeling giddy again.

“Uh… Yes. Of course”, he stood up and pulled the chair out for her, “Please”. His admiring gaze followed her movements as she sat down next to him at the table. She wore an off-white coloured fit and flare dress that nicely complimented her lightly tanned complexion and wavy sand blonde hair, with a brown belt accentuating her slender waist.

“How have you been? It’s been a while since we last saw each other”, she asked with a smile that seemed to momentarily make him mute and feeling foolish. He wondered if she had the same effect on others, or if it was just him. If it was the latter, he mused what it was about her that made him react in this manner. 

“Yes… About that. I apologise for not being more engaging”.

“No need for that” she briefly touched his arm comfortingly, “You have been reunited with family and friends. It must be nice to finally catch up with everyone”.

Her words were like honey and Joshua had to fight to break his gaze from her; he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

“Yes, it was”, he distracted himself by pouring them both a glass of blackberry juice, feeling rather stupid that every time he saw or spoke with her he seemed to be at a loss for what to say, “Do you have any family?”

_‘Idiot! Why did you ask her that?’_ he scolded himself, remembering the story Dawn told him as the words left his lips.

“I used to”, her smile waned as she took a sip of her drink, “All that is left of them are my niece and nephew”.

“I am sorry to hear that”, Joshua wanted to reach out and touch her hand for comfort but remained motionless.

“It was a long time ago. I have made peace with their passing”, she looked up at him, her eyes welling up slightly.

For the first time in his life, Joshua was at a loss for words. He didn’t know what he could say or do that might reassure her and bring back the joy in her eyes.

“If it wasn’t for your people, I don’t know what would have happened to me. They have been so kind, generous and patient with me… You are lucky to have such a family”.

Instinctively, Joshua reached out and gently took her hand in his, “They are your family, too”.


	5. A Quaker's Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joshua Graham has to contend with his past demons that continue to haunt him, much to the concern of his loved ones around him. But the truth he needs to hear to claw his way out of the darkness comes from an unexpected source.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joshua needs some love! If you like Joshua Graham's character, like I do, you might appreciate the slow burn that's been culminating to this point. I really hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed bringing a little happiness to this character <3.

Since the evening of the town feast in honour of his recovery, Joshua found it almost impossible to get Mary out of his thoughts. They had spent the evening immersed in each other, telling stories of their lives and experiences, and Joshua even found out that Mary had a sense of humour that brought tears to his eyes and made his belly ache with laughter. She made him forget about the dull pain that clung to him every day and whenever he was around her, he was walking on cloud nine. He found himself reliving the memories from that night, grinning like a fool when there was no one around to see him. Despite knowing his past and his appearance, she wasn’t afraid of him; in fact she embraced every aspect of him, the good and the ugly. It made him wonder whether he had somehow died and gone to heaven without knowing it.

“Well good morning, Joshua”, Dawn walked through the living room, spotting the wide grin that he tried to hide on his face, “I didn’t expect to see you here”.

“What do you mean?”

Dawn grinned knowingly, “I had thought that you would be at Mary’s cabin today”.

“And what made you think that?”, he asked suspiciously.

“Well, you two seemed to really hit it off at the party”, Dawn sat next to him on the couch, happiness exuding from her features, “And that kiss she planted on your cheek? Oh! She is so fond of you! You should go see her today”.

Joshua shook his head, feeling that familiar pang of guilt creeping in, “No Dawn, it wouldn’t be proper. Besides, we have the sacrament meeting this morning. I hear Elder Clade is going to give an enlightening talk”.

“I know you are eager to get back to prayer with the community, but you are still healing. No one will think less of you if you skip this one, Joshua”, Dawn insisted.

“I know what you’re trying to do Dawn, and it’s not going to work”, Joshua sighed.

“And just what am I trying to do?” Dawn sat up straight and placed a hand on her hip, her brow furrowed in exasperation, “Why are you playing hard to get?”

“I’m not!” Joshua’s voice rose. He winced at his own explosive reaction and bit his lower lip, knowing that his aunt didn’t deserve his tone, “I’m _not_ playing hard to get. I will admit… I had fun that night”.

Dawn’s left brow rose, as if calling him out to be honest with her.

“Alright, I had _a lot_ of fun. But that’s beside the point”.

“Then what is the point?”

“I don’t deserve it”, Joshua shook his head, meeting Dawn’s gaze, “Any of it. I am… not the person I was when you last saw me. I have become cruel, harsh… I’ve killed and enslaved people, innocent people, just like Mary”.

The crease in Dawn’s brow softened as Joshua explained his stance. Although she could never know how he really felt, she understood why he was in this mindset. “I’m sorry for pushing you”, she folded her hands in her lap, a regretful expression in her eyes, “I just saw how happy you were and, you can call me a sentimental old woman all you want, but… I _want_ that kind of life for you. I want you to have a loving family, a loving _wife_ , children”.

“I already have a loving family”, Joshua smiled at her, taking her weathered hand in his.

“My darling, I’m an old woman”, she smiled at him, “I won’t be around forever. And nothing can compare to the love you will feel when you take a wife and have children one day”.

“That is for the young”, Joshua sighed, “I’m 51 years old and past my prime. No woman should have to suffer getting entrapped by a man my age, let alone a man like me”.  

“Nonsense, age is no barrier! William and I married in our forties and I had Ashley shortly after I turned 46”, Dawn stood up, straightening her good Sunday dress, “One day I hope you change your mind because although you don’t believe it now, you do deserve every good thing that comes your way my dear. Trust your aunt Dawn, hmm?” she held out her hand for Joshua.

With a reserved grin on his lips, Joshua took her hand and stood up, following her out of the house and down the street to the meetinghouse. It was another beautifully sunny day outside and Joshua saw others dressed in their Sunday best making their way to prayer. They all greeted him and his aunt with warm smiles and small talk, something he would have to get used to again. Just as they were rounding the corner to the meetinghouse, Dawn tugged at his arm excitedly.

“Oh, I’ll be!” she exclaimed, letting go of Joshua and quickly walked off ahead to greet someone up ahead of them. It wasn’t until he got a little closer and caught a glimpse of her face when she turned that he realised it was Mary. She wore a straw hat and the same off-white dress from the party that, in the light of the day, made her look as if she was glowing. As soon as he saw her his heart quickened and he felt butterflies in his stomach.

“Joshua, look who has come to attend our Sunday sermon!” Dawn announced, beaming with pride, “If William were here he would have been so pleased”.

“I hope this is alright?” Mary asked hesitantly, “I wouldn’t want to impose”

“No imposition! We are thrilled to have you join us!” Dawn waved Joshua over.

“Oh, good! I must admit, I was always curious to find out what you do when you go to the meetinghouse”, Mary blushed.

“You are always welcome my dear”, Dawn beamed up at Mary, “And what better person to share your first sermon experience with than Joshua here?” She winked and followed the other members in the meetinghouse, leaving them both standing awkwardly at the entrance as others filed past them.

“I apologise for my aunt. She can be a bit… forward at times”       

“I think she’s wonderful”, Mary chortled, “When I grow up, I want to be like her”.

Joshua couldn’t help but chuckle at her comment. He offered his arm and bowed his head, “Shall we?”

Mary grinned and took his arm, following him into the shade of the meetingroom to a bench with a free spot just big enough for two. Joshua led her to her seat and only took his place next to her when she was settled.

“Do we have to do anything when it starts?” Mary asked somewhat nervously.

Joshua chuckled, amused by her question, “Thankfully no. All we have to do is listen and…try not to fall asleep”.

“Does that happen often?” Mary asked in a hushed voice, leaning in closer to him and, for the first time he was thankful that his face was covered in bandages so that no one could see him blushing.

“Sometimes”, Joshua whispered, “You will know them by their snores”.

 Mary bit back a giggle as the sermon began, straightening her back on the bench and fanning herself with her hat.

It was one of the easiest sermons Joshua ever had to sit through, partly because he had Mary there next to him. He did catch Dawn occasionally peering behind her shoulder to steal a glance at the two of them with what looked like a permanent grin on her face. Although Joshua shook his head every time he met Dawn’s enthusiastic gaze, he couldn’t deny what he felt. He caught himself gazing at Mary from the corner of his eyes from time to time, absorbing her presence and appreciating the mild and fresh floral aroma that wafted from her as she fanned herself.

Sixty minutes passed so quickly with Mary in his thoughts and the sermon wound to a close. It wasn’t until people started getting up from their seats that Joshua noticed he’d not paid attention to a single word the Elder shared with them. When he was a young man he would have felt guilt if he allowed himself to fall so deeply into his thoughts that he’d missed the entirety of a sermon; but not now.

“Well, that was a great sermon today”, Dawn commented next to them, “I learned a lot today. How about you two?”

“Oh, yes! Plenty”, Mary piped up, beaming back at Dawn, “If all sermons are this enlightening, I think I will join you next Sunday”.

Dawn nodded her approval and squeezed her shoulder supportively, “I imagine by next week we will learn even _more_ ”, she said before moving off with the crowd to speak with her neighbours.

Mary looked around her, watching everyone file outside and leave them both sitting alone in the spacious building, “So… It’s over?”

“Yes”, Joshua bowed his head slightly.

She looked at him somewhat expectantly, “I’m sorry, I’m not sure what we’re supposed to do next”.

 _‘This would be a good time to kiss her’_ , a voice in the back of his head piped up when he noticed that they were the only ones in the meetinghouse.

“Uhh.. Well, we can follow the others and join them for an early lunch. Or we could go back to our homes”, Joshua answered, ignoring the voice in his head.

“Oh…”, Mary sounded somewhat disheartened that that was all that was left to do.

Joshua thought for a moment and an idea popped into his head of how he could save this situation, “You know, I am not familiar with Quaker prayer. Would you be willing to teach me?”

The suggestion seemed to catch Mary by surprise, “I didn’t know you were interested in the Friends Church”.

“You’re the first I’ve met”, he answered, “And seeing as I zoned out for that entire sermon, I would feel guilty leaving without learning something today”.

Mary turned to face him and relaxed in her seat, “I think that one of the things that really differentiates the Religious Society of Friends from other religion is that Quakers believe that there is a part of God in all of us and that it is shaped by personal experience. No single Quaker will have the same definition of God as another”.

“So it’s more personal and meaningful to each individual?”, Joshua asked curiously.

“Yes”, Mary nodded, “While many religions tend to focus on an almighty being, or deity, Friends believe that the spirit, the goodness in people is what God is. There is something precious and transcendent in every person and we take great strength and comfort from that. We’re all connected and thus never truly alone”.

Joshua was in awe of her explanation, that the whole question around God for Quakers was seeing and recognising the good in people. It made him even more fond of her.

“Do you pray?”

“We do, it’s called ‘meeting for worship’. It can take place any time and at any place, but I always remembered my family and I taking part in worship on Sunday mornings”, Mary looked around her studying the space they were in, “And actually, our meetinghouses were very much like yours. Spacious, with plenty of natural light and room to move. Only we had benches facing towards the centre of the room. Every meeting begins in silence and it starts as soon as the first person enters the room and it only finishes when two Quakers shake their hands. There is no minister to lead or a set of hymns or sermons. The idea is when you feel moved to stand up and give ministry, you do. You say your peace and then allow for anyone else to say theirs”.

Joshua considered her description, trying to picture what a meeting for worship would look like. “So everyone is responsible for giving some sort of sermon?”

Mary tilted her head, a faraway expression on her features, “Kind of… It’s not an obligation for everyone to speak. Members will speak if they find they have something to say, and it could be anything. They could talk about something they’ve learnt, or if they think there is a topic they feel they need to address. And their ministry could last anywhere from a few short minutes up to half an hour if they wanted”.

Joshua slid a little closer to her, “Can you show me?”

With an enthusiastic nod, Mary closed her eyes and relaxed in her seat with her hands folded neatly on her lap. A few minutes of silence passed before she opened her eyes again and began to speak, “After attending the sermon today, I wish that I took the opportunity to attend Sunday worship with the rest of the community sooner. We both have so many things in common that it now feels so trivial to think back to my initial refusal to attend; I feel guilty because of it, for the rift it caused. It makes me wonder about all the disagreements people have had since mankind existed, some which have led to devastating results, and how it could all have been avoided if each party was able to see the similarities they shared and more open to embracing each other’s differences”, she finished, “Now you”.

Feeling like he was put on the spot, Joshua’s mind raced in panic trying to find something that he could talk about that was appropriate. Mary spoke so eloquently and conveyed her message perfectly that he felt whatever he said would seem trivial compared to hers.

“I… I’m not sure I have much to add”, he stammered, shifting in his seat, “I don’t even know what to say”.

“That’s alright, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want”.

“How do you know what to say?” Joshua asked curiously, “And you were so articulate, I feel like anything I say would be inconsequential”.   

“I always listen to the little voice in the back of my mind”, Mary lightly tapped the side of her head with her fingertip, “I know I have a message to give, but even I don’t know how that message is going to be strung together. It only becomes clear when I start speaking”.

His heart beat quickened and there was a clear voice yelling at him in his mind, but he feared the repercussions of what might come out.

“I don’t know…”

Mary smiled at him comfortingly, “That’s okay too. You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable”. She extended her arm to him for a handshake to call an end to the worship, but Joshua hesitated. Part of him was pushing for him to shake her hand, but another much louder voice wanted to be heard. He broke his gaze from her arm and met hers.

“So… I just speak? About anything?”

“Exactly. The first thing that comes to your mind”, she nodded, “You can close your eyes if it helps you relax and collect your thoughts”.

 _‘Alright, I can do this’_ , Joshua nodded, rolling his shoulders back to help ease the tension in his body and closed his eyes as Mary suggested. At first everything came to him in a jumble, images flashed in his mind from random memories and the multitude of thoughts that he had bottled up. Before he had any time to consider, he started speaking.

“When I am around people I get a sense of dread… Dread of what others really think of me and that if they knew the full extent of my history, I would repulse them”, he sighed, keeping his eyes closed because he knew that if he looked at Mary now he would never finish his ministry, “I am not a good man. I think I was once, many years ago before I was taken down a road by a man I thought was my friend. He opened the door to many opportunities, and I followed him through every one of them, each darker than the former. What disturbs me was that I did all of this _willingly_ ; I allowed myself to become evil itself and there were times when I relished in it. I am the cause of so much suffering for countless individuals. I enslaved people, broke them down until they were nothing, and killed the ones who opposed my methods. But after everything that I have achieved following Edward Sallow, one failure was all it took to receive the worst punishment imaginable. There are times when I think that that life was physically burned away from me… And though I suffer with the dull pain every minute of every day, I know I deserve worse. The Joshua Graham that everyone thinks they know, is dead. He died that night when the flames engulfed him. I do not know why my body hasn’t perished, but all that is left is a hollow shell of a man just living a borrowed life with the memories of the past”. Speaking these words to her felt like drawing poison out of a wound, a sense of relief beginning to wash over him. He took a shuddering breath in before he continued, knowing that what he was about to say next was going to be the hardest, “I know that I do not deserve your kindness and the affection you have shown me, but what I fear the most is knowing that you will now see me for what I am. Despite everything, there is still a remnant of that selfish man that wants nothing more than to go back to his old life like nothing ever happened”.

He opened his eyes and was surprised to see an expression he’d seen once on Mary’s face the night of the celebration when she gave him that kiss on the cheek. It was deep admiration.

“Thank you for sharing with me, Joshua. I can see now why it was difficult for you to speak”.

Joshua visibly slumped in his seat, rubbing his forehead, “I didn’t expect you to be so… accepting of it”.

“Why? Is that so hard to believe that you can be forgiven?” she asked.

“Yes”, Joshua answered flatly, “Because I do not deserve it”.

Mary sighed, leaning forwards to get closer to Joshua, “The fact that you say that means that you are a good man and do deserve forgiveness. You have recognised that what you did in the past was wrong, which means that there is good in you and it has revealed itself. Everyone falls and makes mistakes in life, no matter the magnitude of that mistake. You have survived because you have been given a second chance, because the good in you outweighs the rest”.

Joshua shook his head and stood up from the bench, fearing that if Mary got any closer to him that he might do something he would regret later on, “I’m sorry Mary, but you’re wrong about me”. He turned to leave but before he made it very far Mary chased him down and placed herself between him and the doorway, her hand outstretched.

“Worship ends when two parties shake hands, remember?” she insisted, catching Joshua by surprise, “There’s a final thing I want to share with you”.

He eyed her hesitantly, wondering what she had to say. “Go ahead”.

“I know that right now you think there’s not much that could change your mind; I’m not even sure if what I’m about to say will even register with you but if you care for your family, I sincerely hope you do”, she folded her arms in front of her chest, gazing deeply into his solemn grey eyes, “You _are_ a good person, no matter what you may think of yourself at this very moment. You deserve to feel happiness and to accept the love that others have for you. You said Joshua Graham died the day you were punished; I believe you. _That_ version, the one you claim to be, has perished. You were baptised again, not in water, but in flames. _You_ have been given a second chance. Don’t squander it away by allowing the _other_ Joshua Graham’s guilt to cripple you”.

Mary’s words took him aback. He gazed at her wide eyed, not expecting to be confronted with such a wise and honest message from her, though he shouldn’t have expected anything less. Quakers are renowned for being honest and speaking the truth, even though the truth may sometimes hurt and others are reluctant to hear it.

She calmly extended her hand to him, “I have said all I wanted to say. Now it’s up to you to figure out what you want to do”.

He reached out and gently accepted her handshake, “I’m not certain what I want to do in the long run, but I think I know what I want to do right now”.

“And what’s that?” Mary placed her hat back onto her head and adjusted it, ready to leave as soon as Joshua let go of her hand. Instead, he slowly moved closer to her, placing her hand on his chest.

“I would like to spend the rest of the day with you, and every day after that”, he said, feeling his heart fluttering in his throat, “That is, if you would like my company”.

Mary flashed a wide grin and leaned into him, standing on her tiptoes to give him a soulful kiss on his lips. Her answer took his breath away and he had to stop himself from flinching back; ultimately, he had to embrace Mary’s wisdom and accept that he deserved to feel this happiness.

“I thought you’d never ask”, she grinned up at him. He found that her joy was catching, and it didn’t take much for him to start grinning like a young lovestruck fool. With her hand still in his, she gave him a reassuring squeeze and led him outside to join the others at Dawn’s house to enjoy the early lunch, unashamedly displaying her affection for him. This was the best day of Joshua’s life and despite fighting the small voices in the back of his mind that reminded him of his reservations, guilt and self-loathing, he allowed himself to just enjoy and live in this pure moment.  


	6. In a Cabin in the Woods

* * *

Traversing the plains for almost five days was an exhausting feat. Ash had wildly underestimated how long it would take them to get to New Canaan. The terrain was treacherous in some areas, either inhabited by vicious creatures of the waste, including Cazador nests, or the terrain was impossible to traverse on foot. Despite her protest to take a more direct route, Ash listened to Aelius’ suggestion about taking a longer but safer way around the hazards and accepted the fact that it was simply going to take longer to get to their final destination.  Travelling together for a little over five days gave her some time to feel a little more at ease with their new travelling companion. If anything, Ash was glad that he had found them that night. Although she despised anyone who associated themselves with the Legion, she was growing more accustomed to Aelius and was beginning to realise that he wasn’t your ordinary Legionary soldier. She knew he was a deserter, and he didn’t show any ill will towards her or Gael. In fact, he treated Gael’s fever effectively with some medicinal herbs he was able to collect in their surroundings, found enough food to feed all of them, and even used his own cloak to cut strips to bandage Ash’s sides. For the majority of their travels he kept a respectful distance from Ash and Gael, despite her son’s protests to interact with him.

In the late afternoon on the sixth day they came across a small lake surrounded by a green forest. A sign nearby read Johnson Valley Reservoir and there were several abandoned cabins nearby that, considering how long they had been vacant, were in decent condition. Aelius broke into one of the locked cabins, figuring that if it had been locked then maybe there was a chance that it hadn’t been used since the war; he was right.   

Gael was the first to run in excitedly, going straight for the toys in the corner of the room.

“Get back Gael! We don’t know if it’s safe!” Ash called.

“It’s alright”, Aelius commented, walking into the cabin and checking the shelves, drawers and cabinets for useable supplies. There was a dusty but clean washroom in a separate room to the back of the cabin with some stimpaks, rad x, bandages and antiseptic.

“You don’t know that”, Ash retorted, checking the corners of the room and under the surfaces for any pests, “There could be anything in here. Radroaches, molerats, ghouls even”.

“It’s safe”, Aelius came out of the washroom, laying out his findings onto a large office desk near the window, “None of the original supplies have been touched. Good news for us”.

Ash eyed him critically but didn’t respond to his self-assured stance.

“Mom! Look!” Gael came running up to her with a toy airplane in his hands with its wings folded vertically, “It’s just like the planes dad showed me!”

“You’re right”, Ash knelt next to him, examining the well-preserved figurine.

“Can I keep it?” he asked with pleading eyes.

Ash turned the toy in her hands, admiring the intricate paint and detailing. It even had a pilot and co-pilot inside. “I don’t see why not”, she smiled at him, handing it back, “No one else is going to play with it”.

Gael squealed with happiness and went back to his corner with the chest of toys, immersing himself in his own little world.

“I’ll check the perimeter”, Aelius said, dropping some of his food and water supplies on the table next to the medicines for Ash and Gael to have while he was out, as well as the spare machete he took from Valens, “Won’t be long”.

Ash bowed her head in acknowledgement and moved aside to allow him to pass. She watched him as he walked outside, checking the reservoir then moving on to the surrounding area, wondering what went on inside his head. Since the night he killed the Legionary called Valens, he remained courteous with her but silent, only speaking when spoken to or if he needed to warn them of danger in front of them. She was curious about him, and that bothered her. It wasn’t often that people she met intrigued her; the last person who did so ended up being the father to her child, and Ash wasn’t sure what to make of that. He was a towering figure with a powerful physique, easily 6’4” tall with broad shoulders and a muscular body, light brown hair with vivid blue eyes, a strong angular jaw and more recently was sporting an attractive five o’clock shadow. As well as being an intimidating and attractive figure to look at, he was an expert in survival and tracking in any environment. Just thinking about him sent a jolt up her spine. One thing was certain; they were incredibly lucky that he was able to track them down and find them when he did. Had he not, it would have certainly meant an unpleasant ending for her and Gael. She glanced over at her son who was happily playing with his new toys. He had taken such a liking to Aelius that she found it almost impossible to keep him away from the soldier. He had made it a habit to scamper off next to Aelius and beg to be carried on his shoulders or talking with him when she wasn’t looking. By the third or fourth day, Ash had no choice but to relent to her son’s demands; and Aelius seemed to enjoy his company as much as Gael did, even when her son started pestering him with inane questions.

As they were going to make camp here for the night and there was still plenty of sunlight outside, Ash decided to start dusting the surfaces so it would be more liveable for them. She found a sweeping broom in a tall wall cabinet in the washroom and began to meticulously clear the place up. After taking the bedcovers and sheets out and giving them a good whack, engulfing herself in clouds and puffs of dust with every hit, she decided that the cabin was spruced up enough for it to be comfortable. She collected some water from the reservoir, warmed it up on the wood burning stove in the kitchenette, poured it in a large clean and rust free bucket, and gave Gael a bath with a clean cloth she found in one of the kitchenette drawers and some soap in the washroom.

“Ow! Oooww!” Gael complained as Ash roughly scrubbed the dirt and grime off of him.

“Almost done”, Ash tried to reassure him, finishing up with his hair before dunking a bucket of freshly warmed water over him to wash the soap off. She wrapped him up in a towel and set him on the bunk bed, laying out a fresh t-shirt and boy’s shorts she found in one of the clothes drawers.

“What about you?” Gael looked up at his mom, playing with a strand of sweaty and dusty hair that had come loose.

“Don’t touch, Gael! I just cleaned you”, Ash scolded him, wiping the hand he touched her hair with.

“Who’s going to clean you?” he persisted.

“I’m going to clean myself”, Ash helped him get dressed, “But you have to be a good boy and stay in bed while I do so. You hear me?” she looked at him sternly.

Gael nodded, content that he was clean and warm. Ash left him some toys on the bed to occupy him while she sorted herself out in the washroom. Warming up a fresh batch of reservoir water for herself, she stood in the shower cubicle and scrubbed herself clean with a cloth and soap, shivering as the warmth of the water faded quickly after touching her skin. When she was sufficiently satisfied of her cleanliness and appearance, she brushed her damp russet brown hair and dried herself off with a clean towel. Rummaging for some clothes in another set of drawers, she was lucky to find a clean long-sleeved denim dress that was slightly loose on her. She got dressed and took all their dirty laundry and soaked it in a bucket of fresh water with some Abraxo cleaner. By the time she had finished everything there was roughly another hour or so to go before sunset. She peered out the window, trying to see if she could spot Aelius.

“I’m hungry”, Gael murmured behind her, clutching at his rumbling tummy.

Taking a portion of cured meat from the supplies Aelius had left for them, she handed it to her son and instructed him to wait in the cabin while she stepped outside to look for the Legionary.

She went around the cabin, wondering where he could have gone off to. After a quarter of an hour and still no sign of him she was starting to feel worried.

 _‘He said he wouldn’t take long. That was at least three hours ago’_ , she thought to herself, pacing in front of the cabin. Just as she was ready to give up and head back inside, she heard faint rustling some distance away. Turning back, she spotted Aelius jogging back to their camp. Covered in dirt, sweat, and a spattering of dried blood across his face and upper torso, he walked at a fast pace in the direction of the cabin with two large dressed haunches of an animal over his shoulder. Ash found it difficult to stop staring at the frightful sight. He walked past her, keeping his gaze fixed on the ground and set the meat down on a weathered picnic bench that was next to their cabin.

“You were gone a while”, she commented, moving next to him but making sure to keep at least an arm’s length away.

“Yeah…”, he wiped his brow with the back of his arm, smearing blood all over himself and making Ash’s stomach churn. Taking out a cutting dagger from his belt, he began slicing the piece of carcass into evenly thick steaks, focusing intently on what was in front of him.

“Find anything good?” Ash asked, looking back at the direction he came from.

Aelius shrugged, keeping at his diligent work, “Found a herd of radstags about ten miles from here. Caught one, cut the haunches off… left the rest”.

Ash’s brow furrowed in confusion, “Why not take more of it?”

“There was a Yaoguai den near my kill. Couldn’t stick around for long”.

“Are you…hurt?” Ash asked, looking him over, but Aelius shook his head.

Ash pursed her lips, refraining from vocalising her concerns. She hovered around for a while watching him as he carried on making precise cuts in silence. Steam rose from his perspiring body along with a primal aroma of blood, hot metal and sweat. He looked like he ran all the way there and back again to make it in time, and it was becoming apparent that Aelius was done talking and Ash had to reluctantly leave him to his task. She returned to the warmth of their cabin and checked up on Gael who was curled up under the covers napping peacefully. After Aelius finished preparing the meat, he joined them briefly in the cabin, leaving a large mound of useable cuts before making his way out again down to the reservoir. Ash watched him from the window, the sunset outside giving her a view of his dark silhouette as he stripped down and went into the water. Grabbing a fresh towel, she followed him to the edge of the water and carefully laid it down on dry gravel for him to use when he finished. Automatically she went for his clothes, and when she picked them up to take inside for a clean their eyes connected. Ash found herself lingering over his muscular frame. He was almost hip deep in water, dangerously close to revealing his chiselled lower body. Ash could see a few inches down past his navel but thankfully the water was just high enough to keep the mystery between them.

“Don’t” he said, looking at his filthy clothes in her hands, “I will do that”.

“It’s no problem”, Ash broke her gaze from him, awkwardly looking at the treeline to her right, “I have already cleaned my clothes and Gael’s, this won’t take long”.

“It’s alright, just…leave it”, he said, dunking himself in the water and washing the dirt and blood off his skin.

Ash ignored him, collecting his leather chest piece from the ground and examining it, “It’s the least I can do. You know, after you saved us”.

Aelius slowly walked out of the water, shocking Ash with his blatant disregard for modesty as he stood right in front of her, keeping a steady gaze focused on hers. “You owe me nothing”, his voice was calm and steady as he gently took his items back.

Ash looked up at him with a mind to object but found herself immobilised by his presence. He was standing so close that she could feel the heat radiating off his body.

“Okay… well… I just wanted to do something to help”, she nodded, wiping her hands on the back of her dress.

He took his things without another word and went back in the water, giving them a soak and using some of the soap to get the tougher stains out.

Ash teetered on her heels feeling embarrassed at seeing him completely naked, even though he didn’t seem concerned with the matter at all. She took one last peek at him before going back to the cabin and found Gael awake and hungry again. The fire in the wood burning stove had reduced to gently glowing embers and the room felt chilly in the early evening, so Ash restoked it and cooked up three large steaks from the pile that Aelius brought in, adding some preserved herbs and seasonings she found in the kitchen’s cabinets. She also found some candles packed in the very back of the utility cabinet and spread them around the room, as well as a complete set of worn ceramic plates, camping cups and cutlery. Of all the places they have found to rest for the night, this was by far the best. Ash almost forgot how good it felt to lie in bed and have four walls around her for protection and cover when she slept. Shortly after Ash finished preparing the evening meal, Aelius walked in with only the towel she provided him wrapped around his waist, an intrigued expression on his face as he examined the cabin.

“I cleared up a bit while you were out”, Ash handed him a plate.

“Why?” he asked, taking his food and pulling up a chair opposite them, “We’re only staying for the night”.

Ash opened her mouth as if to say something then bit her lower lip.

“I like it here”, Gael commented with a mouth full of Radstag steak, “Can we stay longer?”

“We should keep moving”, Aelius answered, keeping his eyes on his food, “If you want to get to where you’re going, we need to cover at least 20 miles every day”.

Gael slumped in his chair, visibly disappointed in the answer.

They finished their meal just as the last dying light of the sun disappeared and curled up in their separate beds. Ash cuddled up next to Gael, covering him up with some of the covers so he didn’t get cold. She stayed awake a while after both Gael and Aelius had fallen asleep, cautiously watching Aelius’ dark silhouette opposite them as he slumbered, his torso rising and falling as he respired. Part of her felt that she could trust him by now, especially after what he did for them and helping Gael get better; but not knowing more information about their companion was gnawing at her. For now, she had to be content that he wasn’t showing any ill will towards them and take things day by day. Fatigue overtook her and her eyes fluttered shut, flinging her into slumber filled with dreams of the past and people she loved.

* * *

 

Sometime in the early morning, Ash woke with a jolt. She thought she heard someone cry out for help and bolted upright in her bed. It was still dark outside but light from a full moon poured in directly through their cabin window. Looking down at her side she saw that Gael was still curled up and asleep, sucking on his thumb for comfort. When she looked around the room she noticed that Aelius was missing. Gently shimmying out from under the covers, she made a quick pass around the room but didn’t find any signs of him; not until she looked out of their window and saw his silhouette sitting at the edge of the reservoir. Taking an extra blanket out of the dressing cabinet and wrapping it around her shoulders for warmth, she quietly followed him outside.

“Are you alright?” she asked hesitantly, standing a few paces away from him. When he didn’t answer she moved closer, eventually kneeling next to him to get a better look. “Alright, seriously. You’re freaking me out here. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing”, he answered in an exhausted sigh, “Please, go back inside”.

Ash hesitated, her eyes darting from the cabin and back at him, “Should I be worried?”

Aelius shook his head, the same blank stare on his face. There was something familiar about his behaviour, something that reminded her of a horrific ordeal she endured with her husband who suffered with depression and PTSD due to his long service in the NCR military; and Aelius was showing tell-tale signs of this. When unchecked, depression and PTSD can be just as fatal as a physical wound; it burrows deep inside the psyche and festers, consuming a person whole. Ash found that out the hard way after her husband attempted suicide from the mental and physical stress of several tours of duty. Back then she didn’t know how to recognise the signs; now she knew better and maybe she could fix this before it got to the point where they lost all control.

“I don’t bite you know”, she said, moving a bit closer to him.

He looked up at her, confused, “I don’t understand”.

“You can talk to me…if you want”, she sat down wearily beside him with crossed legs.

He shifted uncomfortably on the rough ground, rubbing the back of his neck and keeping silent.

“Or not… up to you. I just figured we’ve been travelling a while together and we’ve hardly spoken. I hardly know anything about you”, Ash tried to initiate a conversation, but when her attempts were thwarted with more awkward silence she decided to simply carry on talking until either he decided he had enough of her voice or joined in. “Okay, I guess I’ll go first. My full name is Ashley. I grew up in New Canaan and when I was 18, I decided to pack up and follow a passing caravan to the Mojave because I felt restless and had a deep seeded desire to become an explorer. I spent some time discovering the wastelands with them, until we parted ways in New Vegas. After living in a Mormon town for all of my life, it was…a shock, to say the least. All the lights, the drinking, debauchery… Well, let’s just say I didn’t take to it. On my third day there I decided to leave and joined up with a Caravan company. What I didn’t know was that I would end up working for them for years. One day, about 3 years into my stay in the Mojave, while I was doing a run between McCarran and a settlement up North my caravan was attacked by a gang calling themselves the ‘Vipers’. They killed the two mercenary guards that were with me almost instantly and my Brahmin. I was pinned, taking cover behind the poor beast’s corpse while they carried on firing and circling around me. Just as I thought I was done for, an NCR patrol comes rushing to my aid and chased them down. One of the soldiers stayed with me, kept me safe and calm while the others dealt with the gang…”, Ash paused before her voice broke. Her eyes welled up with tears at the memory.

Her reaction caused Aelius to stir next to her. He sat silently, unsure of what he could say that would help comfort her, listening to her sniffling and trying to calm her erratic breathing down.

“I don’t remember much after joining the Legion when I was a teenager”, he began hesitantly, “I didn’t join by choice… I don’t think that anyone who is in their right mind would. My family were tinkerers that lived peaceful and solitary lives in the wasteland. They were forcibly introduced into the faction. They made me watch as they _raped_ my mother and sisters. My father was away collecting supplies when it happened. When he finally caught up to us, he tried to stop them; but by that time we were surrounded. They killed him. I haven’t seen my mother or sisters since”, Aelius trailed off. He wasn’t sure what made him open up to Ash; maybe he just wanted to stop feeling so alone, but she stopped feeling upset and watched him with sullen eyes as he spoke.

“I’m sorry”, she wiping fresh tears off her cheeks, “I can’t imagine the pain that has caused you”.

“I don’t need your pity”, he answered, a coldness to his tone.

Ash shook her head, “No, I didn’t mean… I wasn’t pitying you”, she apologised. It occurred to her then that he was most likely feeling pent up guilt of leaving his remaining family in the Legion behind. No doubt he would have held out hope that one day he could free them; Ash knew that if she was in that situation, she would have thought the same way. “Older or younger?” she asked, shimmying closer to Aelius.

“What?”

“Your sisters. Are they older or younger than you?”

“Older…” Aelius answered, recalling a faraway memory, “And smarter. In every way”.

“You said your family were… ‘tinkerers’? Is that correct?”

“Yes”, Aelius nodded, “I never took to it. My sisters were much more talented; they had an instinct when it came to making and repairing machinery and equipment. I was always envious of that”. He sighed and stretched his legs out in front of him, resting his weight on his elbows as he reclined, “I take it that man that stopped to help you when you were attacked is your husband?”

The unexpected change in focus to her made Ash flinch, “Uh… Yes. He _was._ ” She took a shuddering breath in before continuing, “He died in a skirmish with the Legion a little over a year ago. I decided to go back home to New Canaan as there was nothing left for me in the Mojave. Look where that got me now”.

“He was in the 1st NCR recon?”

“How did you guess?” Ash looked at him astounded.

“Gael told me”, Aelius answered, “He said his dad is a hero and he wore a crimson red beret with a skull on it. Could only be them”.

“When did he tell you this?”

“The night I found him and carried him back to the camp”, Aelius answered with some hesitation, not wanting to cause her any more discomfort by bringing up the past.

Ash slumped slightly and wondered what she was going to do about Gael when he figured out what was going on. Although it was one of the hardest things she had to do in her life, after getting the letter of her husband’s death from his superior she sat Gael down and told him what had happened to his father in the gentlest way possible. However, Gael was happily convinced that his father was still alive and would come back, despite Ash’s repeated attempts to reason with him. She was afraid of what would happen when he finally came to the realisation himself one day.

“It’s late, you should get back and get some sleep”, Aelius roused her from her thoughts.

“Oh… I’m not tired. Not now, anyway”, Ash said, stifling a yawn. 

“Why are you doing this?” Aelius gazed at her, admiring her softly lit features in the moonlight.

“What do you mean?” Ash looked perplexed, “We’re just… you know, talking. Getting to know one another”.

“You don’t have to be nice to me”, Aelius exhaled, wrapping his semi dry cloak over his shoulders for warmth, “I’m a Legionary soldier, remember?”

“You’re not one of their soldiers anymore”, she added, “I’m just trying to get to know the man who saved us. That’s all”.

“Don’t you hate me?” he asked. To his surprise, his question elicited an expression he’d not seen from her before; a cross between kindness and empathy. 

“… No”, she shook her head, “I don’t hate you, Aelius”.

Her admission lifted a weight off him and Aelius felt like he could breathe a little easier now. He could feel the tension between them slowly ebbing away.

The horizon was starting to show the first signs of light before dawn by now and seeing that Aelius was not a danger to himself, Ash decided that it was time to get back to her bed and get a couple of hours of sleep before they set off again.

“I think I will head back in now”, she grunted, getting on to cold and stiff legs, “You should get some rest too”.

Aelius nodded, “I will… In a few minutes”.

“Well, in that case…” Ash took off the blanket she had wrapped around her and lent down to place it gently over his shoulders, feeling his body tense up as her hand grazed his cold skin, “You’ll need this more than me”.

Aelius looked up at her and gave her a curt nod, “Thank you”.

With a friendly smile, Ash made her way back to the cabin. Aelius watched her until she went inside and closed the door behind her.

 

* * *

 

The sudden need to socialise with him was intriguing to Aelius. When they escaped the attack on the Legion camp, she made it perfectly clear that if he ever touched her she would kill him and that she would never go anywhere with him. Now all of that seemed to change. He knew she didn’t owe him anything, and he’d been trying to tell her that ever since the night he fought and killed Valens. The light and lingering touch she gave him as she wrapped the blanket over his shoulders made him feel strange. Another thing that confused him was her reaction and the way her eyes lingered over him when she saw him bathing in the reservoir.

Whatever she was going through, he was glad that she decided to approach him and begin a dialogue. He knew she needed space after what happened to her, and more than anything they both needed someone who could help them survive and guide them back to their home. For now, he would be whatever they needed him to be; a protector, hunter, a guide, and he hoped eventually their friend.

 

* * *

 

Lying in Mary’s bed, Joshua had never been so relaxed in his life. He was stretched out on his front in only his underwear as Mary sat beside him, applying a soothing skin treatment that she had made to help heal his burns just that morning.

“What’s in that again?” he asked sleepily, keeping his eyes closed while he enjoyed the touch of her soft, cool hands massaging his shoulders and arms. The mild floral and slightly nutty aroma was calming and relaxing.

“Silver rose, banana yucca blossom and peel, and broc flower seed butter”, she smiled down at him, “Does it feel alright?”

“It’s wonderful”, he exhaled, appreciating the relief it brought him. The cream had a cooling effect on his skin, offering a gentle pain relief as well as making it feel less taut.

“Ok, now the front”, Mary lightly tapped his shoulder letting him know she wanted him to flip over. Joshua happily complied, turning over with a grunt. He still felt self-conscious about his appearance, though he knew he shouldn’t since Mary didn’t care at all about such trivial things. She looked down at him with a grin on her face and love in her eyes. It brought back the familiar butterflies in Joshua’s stomach, along with a new sensation below his waist that took him by surprise. Mary stifled a giggle when she saw him move his hands to cover up between his legs that made his underwear feel tight.

“Joshua, you don’t have to be embarrassed”, she commented, stroking some of the balm on his face, “I’m a doctor, remember?”

“Hmm…” he mused, refusing to relax, “Still, it’s not proper”.

Mary rolled her eyes at him and started applying the treatment gently on his scalp, massaging the medicine into his skin, “It’s a normal human response and nothing to be ashamed of”. When he still refused to relax she leant over and gave him a kiss on his lips.

“You know, I appreciate your affection… but it’s only making things worse”, he said, doing his best to save face.

Mary blushed, pulling back stray hair strands that were getting in her face, “Did you want to turn back over, wait until it passes?”

Joshua nodded, “I think that would be best”. He turned over back on his front and relaxed, trying to not to let himself feel too embarrassed with his reaction. After all, just as Mary said, it was a normal _human_ reaction.

“Is it something I did?” Mary asked, rubbing the remaining balm over her arms. The question made Joshua pause before he answered. He wanted to be honest with her but he feared what she would think if she heard the truth; and the truth was he wanted her, more than anything.

“Not at all”, he fibbed, “Why do you ask?”

“Just curious. I can see it makes you feel uncomfortable so I figured if it was something I did -”

He interrupted her, turned to his side and gently took her hand in his, “No, you didn’t do anything that would make me feel uncomfortable. It’s… Well, it’s…”, he stammered, words failing him.

Mary shook her head in confusion, “Just be honest with me. There’s nothing you could say or do that would make me think less of you. In fact, quite the opposite”, she grinned, her cheeks turning a bright pink as she blushed.

 “I’m sorry, this is not something I have had to deal with in the past, so I don’t feel comfortable being open about it. You have to understand that, everything I have learned from the teachings of our Lord and our community, is that we must abstain from temptation. A man who abstains from temptation is a far better person than one who doesn’t and repents for his sins after”.

“I see”, Mary’s brow furrowed, “and you are… _tempted_ … by me?”

Joshua nodded, a hungry look in his eyes that sent lustful shivers up her spine, “You couldn’t begin to imagine how much”, he said in a low intoxicating voice.

His words made every part of her exposed skin flush, “…Is that _so_ bad?”

He smiled and shook his head, “No, but it does make things a little difficult, and possibly uncomfortable, for me in the sense that I wouldn’t be able to act on these temptations”.

Mary bit her lower lip, not wanting to go into a moral or religious debate with him, especially knowing how headstrong Mormons are with their rules and practices. There was no doubt in her mind that she was tempted by him as well; she’d hoped that he would have a more open view on the matter of physical attraction as he was well-travelled and experienced but it was clear that, with the combination of his religious beliefs and his desire for atonement, there was no leeway in this scenario for either of them.

“Alright, well… Then I will try to make myself _less_ tempting for you”, she replied, beginning to wrap fresh bandages over his affected skin.

Joshua smiled and gazed at her affectionately, silently thanking God for the gift of her presence beside him.  


	7. Fuck and Run

Sounds of clanging of metalwork, shuffling of feet outside the tent, a breeze touching her hot skin, a woman’s pleas not far away as she was being reprimanded with a whip. Olivia’s mind desperately grasped at anything that would distract her from what was happening to her body. A Legionary Centurion panted over her, his hot breath lingering like a fog as he repeatedly thrust into her, sweat dripping on her pale skin. Physically speaking, he was no different than the other soldiers around camp; tall, muscular, with pitch black hair and peppered with scars of various shapes and sizes from his face to his ankles. If he wasn’t a scumbag Legionary soldier, she might have found him attractive; alas this wasn’t that scenario. For over a week she endured him, which was an unusual thing for her. Usually if a soldier wanted her, they took her to their tent, did their business and left her to her carry on with her work; but this one was persistent and it made her feel singled out. She commanded her body to be limp, to not resist; it would be over soon. Sometimes she was able to block out these moments, and for a while she was getting good at it. She remembered the first time she was raped, right beside her own mother and in front of Christopher, her young brother. She fought them the first time and the subsequent times they subjected her to this animalistic brutality, until she realised that they enjoyed it. Her screams of rage and pain and attempts to fight them off aroused them and added fuel to their sadistic appetites. Now, as a way of protest, she went limp whenever one of the soldiers took her, removing herself from what was happening and retreating into the depths of her mind; though today it was harder than usual. Maybe because this one was unrelenting. A stinging slap on her buttock brought her back to the present.

“Oh fuck”, he grunted, his thrusting accelerating and the sound of wet flesh slapping together like someone eagerly clapping for an encore filled the small, stuffy tent, “Oh fuck, oh fuck, _fuuuck_ …”.

She felt his body tense up and his member throb inside her, grabbing whatever meagre handfuls he could get of her lean flesh as he filled her up for the second time today; hoping that this was the last time.

He stroked himself while still inside her as if trying to get as much cum out of it as he could and proceeded to lift her legs up and hook each one on the inside of his elbows, raising her pelvis to stop anything from dripping out.

“Fuck, you feel so good”, he panted.

 _‘Your breath stinks like a dead dog’_ she thought in disgust, keeping her eyes fixed away from him and onto the intricate cracked surface of a storage container to her left. Suddenly she felt his fingers begin to run down her inner thigh and stroke her lips.

“I can make you feel good”, he whispered, as though it were a tantalising prospect for any woman after just being raped.

His words made her want to spit in his face and kick him between the legs, but if she did, he could easily kill her or exact punishment by hurting her mother or sister instead.

“No… _thank_ you”, the words seethed out through her teeth; but he didn’t listen.

A cold shiver ran down her spine as his finger grazed her clit and began to rub it in circular motions. The sensation was so sickening it brought on a wave of nausea that made her body heave and convulse. Her reaction made the soldier pull away, just in time to avoid her regurgitated bile. She’d barely had any food over the course of the day and the mess was minimal but bringing up the little bit of whatever was in her stomach created a painful void that felt like knives stabbing her in the abdomen.

“ _Shit_ ”, he swore under his breath, grabbing one of his shirts to clean up the mess, noticing how empty her stomach must have been. He tossed the shirt to the side, got up, dressed and made a move to leave the tent, “Stay there, I’m coming back”. And with that he left her alone for a few moments, just enough time for her to pull herself up onto her elbows and cover up her lean naked body. When he came back, he carried in a tin plate full of food and a jug of clean water.

“Here”, he placed the plate and jug on the ground in front of her, “Eat”.

Olivia’s eyes darted up at him in fear. There had to be a catch; no Legionary soldier did something like this for a slave unless they wanted something from them... Something big.

“I’m alright now”, she shook her head.

“Eat”, he insisted, motioning toward the food, “You need to keep up your strength”.

“For what?” Olivia whispered, fearing the answer.

The Centurion smiled and leaned in close to her, stroking the side of her face which only brought up another wave of nausea, “I thought my advances were obvious. I want you to be the woman to bear me a son”.

* * *

 

Inside the women’s tent, Elizabeth tended to the weeping wounds of a mute old woman who was reprimanded with twenty lashes. The reason for her punishment? She faltered and spilled some water on a Centurion soldier. She was lying on a mat on the ground, unconscious but still breathing while Elizabeth applied some healing poultice on her wounds.

In her previous life, the one she led before being enslaved by the Legion, Elizabeth was a doctor in the NCR. A non-married woman, blonde and in her mid-forties, she lived in an outpost on the border between the NCR and the Legion. A couple of years into her service, the outpost was attacked and everyone, except the women, were killed. Now in her pre-menopausal years, she was deemed unfit for breeding and her role in the Legion was as healer. Even though she was seen as unfit for breeding, that didn’t stop the advances from the soldiers; if you were a woman and were deemed even vaguely fuckable, you’d end up raped sooner or later.

The flap of the tent opened; from the corner of her eye Elizabeth saw Olivia enter and go to her mat and rummage for something in her personal bag. She appeared to be hiding her distress, so Elizabeth finished up with her patient and moved to her friend to see what was troubling her.

“Hey”, she stood next to Olivia, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder, “What happened?”

Olivia shrugged and shook her head, “I can’t…”. Her body was trembling and while she was getting some fresh clothes out, she couldn’t hold her emotions in any longer and burst into tearful sobs.

Elizabeth knelt and wrapped her arms tightly around Olivia, “Shhh… I’m here, I got you”. She could smell what had happened to her and knew that there was nothing else she would want at this time than to clean herself. “Here, let’s go get you cleaned up. You’ll feel a lot better after that. What do you say?”, she stroked the loose hair away from her face. Olivia nodded, holding tightly onto Elizabeth for support.

Walking through the camp headed towards the river, they kept their heads down and felt prying, hungry eyes following them. Getting to the edge of the river, Elizabeth put Olivia’s clean clothes to the side on dry ground and helped her into the water. Although the soldiers did a good job of keeping the area of the river used by the camp free of mirelurks and lakelurks at bay, Elizabeth kept a watchful eye on their surrounding area, especially as at this hour the area was empty. The water was painfully ice cold and even though it felt like it sent a jolt of electricity through Elizabeth’s body when it touched her skin, Olivia waded in regardless, submerging herself fully underwater.

“Let’s get you cleaned up”, she said, moving next to Olivia with a bar of soap and a cleaning rag, getting to work on her hair and upper body. By this point Olivia was shivering and Elizabeth had to work quickly, for both their sakes.

Once they finished and rushed out of the freezing water, Elizabeth tightly wrapped a linen cloth they used as towels in the Legion around her shivering friend, holding her close to keep her warm.

“Thank you”, Olivia trembled, a pained expression on her face.

“I only wish there was more I could do”, Elizabeth sniffed and blinked tears that were welling up in her eyes, “You’ve been taking those herbs I gave you?”

Olivia nodded fervently, “Yes… every time it happens”.

“Good”, Elizabeth helped her get dressed, “Don’t let any of the soldiers see you taking them, they’re getting suspicious. I overheard one of the Centurions talking about low pregnancy rates among young women within the camp”. If word got out that the women were using herbal contraceptives, mass punishments would be carried out. No doubt that if they found out Elizabeth was supplying them, she would be placed on a cross and left to die of exposure and thirst.

“Don’t worry… They won’t find out”, Olivia whispered through chattering teeth as she pulled her clean cloth trousers back up and tied them with a thin piece of rope.

Arm in arm, the two women made their way slowly back into the camp.

“Who was it?” Elizabeth asked, noticing that Olivia was deep in her thoughts.

“Aurelius”, Olivia murmured, still feeling nauseated by what had happened.

Elizabeth looked her over as they ambled, “Did he hit you?”

Shaking her head, Olivia suppressed a sob, “No… Not this one. He… gave me food, after he finished…”

“Oh…”, Elizabeth’s eyebrows raised in surprise, “That’s… surprising”.

“I almost threw up on him”, Olivia confessed, “But he didn’t lash out at me. I don’t know why”.

“At least he didn't beat you like the others”, Elizabeth tried to find the silver lining in the dismal situation, but it didn’t help.

“He’s still a raping piece of shit”, Olivia spat, a hatred in her eyes the likes she’d not seen in a long time, “I should have fought back. I should… I should have…”

“And then what? Give him more reason to beat you, or worse, _kill_ you?” there was a tremble in Elizabeth’s voice. She pulled Olivia in an embrace, hugging her so close that Olivia could feel her heartbeat on her skin, “I promised your mother I’d take care of you”.

“I know… But I can’t keep living like this”, Olivia confessed, shaking her head, “I would rather _do_ something and die knowing I tried, than continue living in this endless nightmare”.

“Me too”, Elizabeth sighed, “One day we will get a chance. But until that day, we have to survive. Do you hear me?” she gently cupped Olivia’s face in her hands, giving her a reassuring smile, “We will get out of this shit hole. Somehow, someway… I promise you”.

Her words gave Olivia some comfort and she smiled weakly back at the woman who had done so much for her and others. She knew that Elizabeth always made good on her promises, and if she said that they were going to get out of this together, that’s what was going to happen. All she needed to do was wait until the right time came and take back her freedom.

* * *

 

Commotion at the gate of the camp roused the attention of everyone inside. Legionary soldiers rushed down to the bridge, shouting orders to their subordinates who swiftly followed their masters’ orders. No one knew what was going on, but it was important.

Olivia and Elizabeth were shoved to the side, a soldier aggressively grabbing Elizabeth by the arm and separating both women away from each other.

“Go back to your tent, _woman_ ”, he shouted at Elizabeth, spit flying out of his mouth, “You’re blocking the way!”

“Hey!” Olivia protested but was met with a hard shove from the soldier that toppled her painfully to the rough ground. With a wild and terrifying look in his eyes, he moved to punch her while she was sprawled on the ground. Olivia put her arms up to defend her face and braced for the impact, but it never came.

“What are you doing?!” a man’s voice barked above her. When Olivia opened her eyes and looked up she saw Aurelius standing next to the man, his hand firmly holding the soldier’s arm.

“She and her friend were in the way”, the soldier complained, “I merely –"

“I have claim over this woman. If I see or hear any man attempt to hurt or possess her…”, Aurelius paused ominously, a satisfying grin on his lips, “I will personally see to it that they are _severely_ disciplined”.

The soldier nodded, the wickedness in his features that was present only a few moments ago replaced with fear, “Understood, Centurion. I apologise for the misunderstanding”.

“Good. Make sure the others know as well. I want to avoid any…unpleasantness”. Aurelius pushed the soldier back forcefully, enough to make him stumble on his heels as he frightfully left them and went back to his duties. Olivia watched, stunned that a Centurion would even bother to help her, but before she could even say anything about it Aurelius turned and made his way back to his post, as if oblivious to her presence.

“Get up!” Elizabeth whispered, helping her up on to her feet, “You shouldn’t have done that”.

“Why did he stop him?” Olivia ignored Elizabeth’s scolding, perplexed by what had just happened.

“I don’t know but be glad that he did!”, she glanced back in Aurelius’ direction, “ If you ever see one of the soldiers reprimanding me, or anyone else, do not interfere. It will only make things worse for everyone”.

Quickly and with their heads bowed, the women wove their way through the commotion and back into the women’s tent.   

* * *

 

“Make way!” a soldier in the crowd yelled, “Move! Move!”

Aurelius stood to one side to let them pass. The Legionary soldier and several other men were carrying three wounded and exhausted Legionary scouts into the camp and up to Caesar’s tent.

“Must have been in a fight with a tribe”, he heard a soldier speculate behind him.

“Did you see? Two of them had leg and arm amputations. I bet it was cannibals”, another piped up.

Aurelius turned and faced them with a cold and authoritative air, “We are Legionary soldiers. We do not bet”.

The look on their faces was priceless. He left the two men to stew in their fear while he followed behind the group carrying the wounded, eager to find out what had happened.

Inside the tent, he took an inconspicuous position in the corner by a long wooden seating bench, folding his arms in front of his chest and waiting to absorb the information from the wounded. Caesar himself was sat in his throne chair not ten paces away from him with a familiar figure wearing a Vexillarius helmet and dark goggles whispering in his ear.

‘ _Ah Vulpes, you’ve finally come out of your hole to join us_ ’, Aurelius mused. When Vulpes finished, Caesar nodded and turned his attention to the wounded scouts in front of him.

“What are your names”, Caesar questioned, his voice carrying in the silent tent.

“Domitius”, one of the scouts answered. He was a grizzled man with a powerful build, bloodied and freshly missing several fingers on his left hand. “This is Ilario and Kaius”, he motioned to the other two men in his party behind him, one of which was missing a leg and seemed very close to falling unconscious.

“Speak”, the master demanded, “Who did this to you?”

“Cannibals, Caesar”, Domitius answered with a wince. His answer made the room stir, and rightfully so. It was thought that the Legion had eradicated the cannibal tribes; the most feared ones that the faction had ever come across.

The answer didn’t seem to satisfy Caesar though, “How many in your party were lost”.

“A dozen. Including two who are unaccounted for”.

Though displeased, Caesar nodded and motioned for one of his aids to record the information, “What were their names”.

“Marcellus, Argento, Bastien, Cassius, Festus, Phelix, Sabin, Victor, Scipio, and Remo are the fallen”, the scout answered.

“And the missing?” Caesar motioned.

“Aelius and Valens”.

“Have they been captured by the enemy?” Caesar looked critically at the scout, who was dripping blood in his tent.

The scout seemed to think the question over before giving a hesitant answer, “… I do not know”.

“Did you try to look for them?”

“No, Caesar… we had suffered casualties and-“

“So, if they’re not dead or were taken by the enemy, they could be cowards. Or worse, absconders”, Caesar’s piercing gaze fixed on Domitius. His speculation seemed to surprise even a grizzled old veteran such as Domitius. Caesar motioned to Vulpes and whispered something in his ear, ignoring the injured men in front of him. Only when he finished did he dismiss them to go get treatment for their injuries.

This was indeed an interesting situation that presented itself to them; one that had the potential to present a promotion. Aurelius moved forward past the other soldiers and out of the crowd.

“If you will allow it, I volunteer to find the missing men, Caesar”, Aurelius spoke with confidence.  

Caesar didn’t even bother to look up from the paperwork in his hands, “And what makes you think that they are even alive?”

Although his face was well obscured, Aurelius could tell that Vulpes was frowning with disdain behind those black goggles of his.

“I don’t, but if they are alive and have been captured by the Cannibals, I will eradicate our enemy”.

Aurelius’ foolhardy initiative granted him an amused look from Caesar, “And if you find that they are cowards or are deserters?”

“I will bring them to your feet to face justice”, Aurelius answered with a smile.

His proposal seemed to stir interest in their leader, and after a few moments of mulling the idea in his mind and listening to the hushed advice from his counsel, he nodded in agreement. Aurelius could have sworn that that he saw the slightest of grins on Caesar’s face.

“Very well. Select your men. You leave in the morning”.


	8. Hunted

“I won’t repeat myself Dawn”, Joshua’s tone was severe this time, “I said no. Not ‘maybe’, not ‘I’m not sure’… _No_!” He’d spent almost the whole morning being accosted by her about Mary and how it was time to move things along.

Dawn’s shoulders slumped in frustration but she didn’t give up, “I really don’t understand you Joshua. Why are you so against this?”

“Because it’s improper”, he answered, raising his voice since she didn’t seem to be hearing him very well, “And I don’t think she’d appreciate something like that. Now let it go”.

She stood in the doorway blocking his way out and a determined look in her eye. Even though she was elderly and only came up to about his shoulder height, she still had a way about her that made him feel like a little kid being scorned for refusing to do his chores.

“Dawn… You’re behaving immaturely”, he sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“And you are behaving like a stubborn big horner”, she retorted, folding her arms in front of her chest, “You won’t even entertain the idea of asking her”.

“Because, as I’ve said before, it’s _not_ _proper_ ”, he replied with forced calm, “Please, I don’t want to get into an argument with you”.

“Then don’t”, Dawn smiled, trying to approach the topic in another way, “Let’s just ask Mary what she thinks. I’ll go with you!”

“You are impossible”, Joshua groaned.

Without giving him any more fuss, Dawn decided that she wasn’t getting anywhere with her nephew. Instead, she was going to take matters into her own hands. But first she had to settle the dust between her and Joshua so he wouldn’t suspect. “Fine! You win. But as someone who has had more life experience than you, I can tell you that you’ll regret this decision”, and she went to sit back down at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and pretended to ignore him by resuming her reading, silently scheming how she was going to approach the topic to Mary.

 

* * *

 

When Mary saw the familiar grey hair and determined strut of the elder making her way up the dirt path to her cabin, she was surprised that Dawn made her way all by herself. She’d been tending the crops in the front while the children stayed in the shade reading an old world play that she had found tucked away in one of the dusty corners in the small town’s library.

“Dawn! This is a surprise…”, Mary called, removing her gardening gloves and patting the dust and dirt off of her overalls as Dawn approached her with a smile, “Everything alright in town?”

“Oh yes, everything’s fine”, she waved a hand to quell the surprised look on Mary’s face, “I’ve actually come to see you. Do you have a few moments to talk?”

“Um, sure”, Mary nodded, feeling a little knot tie in her stomach. Dawn normally never came up to her cabin to talk, unless it was an urgent matter, “Let’s go inside, I’ve got a jug of sweet agave and yucca blossom tea that should be cool enough to drink now”.

Inside the cabin, Dawn tried her best to stop herself from fidgeting too much. Whenever she felt excited or frustrated she had a fidgeting twitch with her hands and sometimes feet; and Mary was beginning to notice.

“Dawn, are you sure everything’s alright? You’re… Well, you’re fidgeting”, Mary commented as she poured her a cup of the sweet tasting tea.

“Actually there was something that I’ve wanted to bring up to you about”, Dawn nodded, accepting her cup and taking a satisfying sip before she continued, “It’s about Joshua”.

“Oh?” Mary’s eyebrows raised slightly, “How is he?”

“He’s in pain my dear”, Dawn shook her head and tutted.

“What’s wrong? Is he alright?”, Mary stood back up and started for her doctors’ bag, until Dawn stopped her.

“Don’t worry yourself! He’s not physically hurt. No, this is different”.

“I don’t understand”, Mary leaned forward, still feeling uneasy, “What’s wrong?”

“He’s in love, my dear. With you”, Dawn smiled and rested her weathered hand on hers, “But he’s too proud and stubborn to do anything about it. So, I’ve come to see if we women could do anything about it”.

Mary could feel her whole body flush with embarrassment, her hands go clammy and her voice stuttered when she tried to reply.

“Oh come now my dear, there’s no need to be embarrassed. I was once young too and I know love when I see it”, Dawn smiled perceptively.

“Dawn, I’m sorry, but… This is not right”, Mary shook her head, still shocked that Dawn had betrayed Joshua’s most private thoughts. Mary wouldn’t deny that she could feel there was something between her and Joshua, but even in the short amount of time they knew each other, Mary understood what kind of man he was and appreciated him for it.

“Why ever not?” Dawn asked in confusion, “It’s clear that you both enjoy each other’s company, he thinks about you almost every-“

“Enough, Dawn!” Mary’s voice rose, “I can’t believe you would do this to your own family”.

“I am _looking out_ for my family”, Dawn protested, rising from her seat, “I merely want to see Joshua finally settled and happy”.

“And yet you didn’t once stop to think what he wanted. Or what I want, for that matter”, she answered, “After all the years I’ve been here, you should know me better by now. I am not desperate to find a man, I could happily live out the rest of my days without a partner if I so chose”.

Although it felt uncomfortable to speak to her in that way, Mary couldn’t stand by and watch Dawn betray Joshua’s trust this way any longer, let alone walk all over Mary the second she wanted something for herself. She’d done it to her in the past, but this was the last straw.

“Well… I am _sorry_ I bothered you with this”, Dawn wrapped her shawl around her shoulders and started for the door in a huff, “Good evening to you”.

“If Joshua wanted this, he would have come to me and we would have spoken about the matter like adults”, Mary called out behind her, “What you did today was _very_ improper”.

Although upset and leaving with her pride chipped a bit, Mary’s last comment put cheeky grin on Dawn’s face, “They’re perfect for each other”, she muttered to herself as she descended back down the hill and into town.

 

* * *

 

At the hint of first light, Aelius awoke and set off to start prepping the cuts of radstag meat he’d put aside the night before. Ash and her son Gael were still fast asleep in their bed, so he left the cabin quietly, making sure not to disturb them.

Outside, he made a small fire pit, filled it with dried twigs and leaves that he was able to find scattered around their cabin, and made a drying rack for the meat on top of the fire. He busied himself getting everything ready for their departure, collecting water from the reservoir and adding some water purification tablets to it that he found in the adjacent cabin, fixing his worn armour and sharpening the machetes. By the time the meat had cured and Aelius had it packed away it was already gloriously sunny outside; he estimated around 9AM, but there was still no sign of Ash and Gael stirring. Just as he had a mind to go back into the cabin and rouse them, Ash walked out of the front door groggily, a blanket still wrapped around her.

“Good morning”, he said, packing up some extra clothes in his bag, “Are you and Gael ready?”

“I _just_ woke up”, Ash answered, her voice rough from sleep, “Aelius, we’re exhausted. Couldn’t we stay here for one more day?” she pleaded.

Aelius shifted on his feet, trying to come up with an answer that didn’t sound too much like he was demanding. Years of survival training and conditioning made him efficient and impatient when it came to rest; he wasn’t used to this, travelling so slowly and having to wait on others. It was a difficult thing to let go of, but it kept them alive so far.

“Not sure that’s wise. We should keep moving”.

Ash’s shoulders slumped slightly, and her gaze fell to the ground, “I see…”

“I thought you wanted to get home quickly”, he tilted his head in confusion, “The sooner we leave, the sooner we’ll get to where you and Gael will be safe”.

“But…we’re safe here, too”, Ash pleaded, “Come on, _one_ more day; that’s all I ask. I promise, tomorrow Gael and I will both be ready to go by dawn”.

Aelius considered the idea over in his mind. A day would set them back at least twenty miles, but if both she and Gael were exhausted from their travels, then it would probably cost them more in the long run if they left today.

He sighed and finally relented, “Alright… One more day. But we leave tomorrow morning”.

Ash grinned and nodded in agreement, “Tomorrow. Thank you Aelius”.

The rest of the day was spent resting and relaxing by the reservoir while Gael played with his toys. Ash had found a grill in one of the other cabins as well as some tinned beans and tomatoes, and they all had an indulgent lunch outdoors grilling the radstag meat. Even though it appeared that Ash was feeling more comfortable around him and was being friendly, Aelius still kept a respectable distance from her. He didn’t want her to feel as though she needed to repay him for anything; that wasn’t why he went back for them.

“Pick me up! Pick me up!” Gael came scampering to him, pulling on his belt for attention.

“Pick you up?” Aelius smiled down at him.

“Yeah!” Gael beamed, “I wanna fly!”

Aelius raised an eyebrow in confusion and looked over at Ash.

“His father used to hold him up and pretend he was making Gael fly”, Ash demonstrated, a sombre smile creeping on her features.

“Oh…”, Aelius sighed, unsure of what to do, “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea buddy”, he ruffled Gael’s hair.

“It’s alright, go ahead”, Ash nodded in approval, “I haven’t been able to pick him up like that since he was a baby, so… I’m not doing it”, she held up her hands in defeat.

Gael was still bouncing eagerly on his little feet and looking up at Aelius expectantly.

“Well… Alright then”, Aelius resigned, “Come on”. He picked Gael up and supported him with both hands, moving him through the air as he’d watched Gael when he played with his toy airplanes, and immediately Gael erupted in joyous laughter, egging Aelius to perform more daring manoeuvres.  Who knew that such a simple act could bring so much happiness?  Then Aelius had an idea about how he could make Gael's 'flight' more...interesting.

“Oh no! We’ve been hit!” he grunted playfully, bouncing Gael and zig zagging him in the air, “We need to land!”

“Over there!” Gael giggled and pointed to the reservoir.

“Nah uh Gael, you just had your lunch”, Ash called behind them and Aelius veered away from the water as instructed.

“Looks like it’ll be a bumpy landing!” he grunted, making erratic twists and turns while Gael giggled and egged him on to do more. With Gael’s enthusiasm spurring him on, Aelius tossed Gael straight up about three feet above his head and laughed as the boy squealed with excitement when he caught him in his arms.

“Again! Do it again!” Gael commanded, but a concerned look in Ash’s eyes stopped Aelius from doing so. Instead, he veered off in her direction and set Gael down on the bench next to her.

“Maybe next time buddy. You’re getting pretty heavy, I’m not sure I’ll be able to lift you up for much longer”, Aelius smiled and handed him his air plane toy back.

“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure about that”, Ash replied, giving Aelius a friendly smile that made his ears feel like they were burning.

He grinned awkwardly and nodded, “I’m, uh… I’m going to go and pack our supplies for tomorrow”, and left before his gracelessness got the better of him. He still wasn’t sure why Ash was being so nice to him, and he had a feeling that if he didn’t find a way to deal with being uncomfortable with it that he’d end up making himself look like a fool.

Evening came quickly in the middle of winter in the wastelands, and all three of them settled in for the night. Aelius lay on his bed, listening to the rhythmic breathing of Ash and her son. He wondered what kind of a future was in store for him. It was a difficult matter to think about. Since he was forced into the Legion, his only concerns for his future were to survive. Do it long enough and maybe he would have found an opportunity to get his family out of the Legion camp. Now that future was gone and Aelius was left with a blank slate. Would he end up wandering the wastelands, scavenging for food and supplies every day until his last? Would Ash’s community take him in, and if so, he didn’t know how he would fit in or what his new purpose would be. The possibility of going to NCR territory and enlisting in their forces entered his mind, but he had a feeling that even though he would be as forthcoming about Legionary positions, tactics and weaknesses with them, he would never be fully trusted and would be treated as a prisoner.

Turning on his side, he quelled his mind of the thoughts that were taking away from his sleep. Tomorrow would be a long and busy day, and he will need to have all of his strength and wits about him if he was going to successfully lead Ash and Gael back to their home.

 

* * *

 

Standing over a rotting corpse of one of the fallen Cannibal tribesmen, Aurelius surveyed the area where the fight took place between the Legionary scouting party and the Cannibals. From the decay of the bodies, it appeared that the events transpired almost two weeks ago. His company, a group of a dozen men, were spread out and searching for clues as to the whereabouts of the two missing people. Aurelius moved to the destroyed tent of the scouting party’s leader, whose body was only a couple of feet away. He carried out his search and found Marcellus’ journal. Flipping to the last page entry he found some interesting information; the scouting party had come across a caravan travelling without the mark of Caesar. What was even more intriguing was that the caravan trader they ran into was a woman. The text went on to detail the inventory that was confiscated from the profligate, and some information on the appearance of the woman, but not much else.

“Aurelius, our tracker found something you will want to see”, one of the men said as he approached. Aurelius followed the man to the tracker, who was kneeling on the ground some distance away, his face only a few feet from the ground analysing various marks in the ground.

“What have you found?” Aurelius asked behind the man, keeping away from the immediate area so as not to disturb the marks.

“There was a child in the camp”, the tracker turned to his superior, “And I found marks of another, smaller individual. Might be a woman from the hand prints in the dirt”.

Aurelius nodded, “You are indeed as good as Caesar praised. I found Marcellus’ journal and in it he mentioned that they picked up a woman; though there was no mention of a child”.

“Maybe they found the child later, just before the camp was attacked”, the tracker answered, looking away from the tracks and to the north, “This is where the attack happened. Then, the tracks of the woman, the child, and a man lead away from the camp”.

“Very well. Lead on”, he instructed. Without hesitation, his subordinates fell into line and followed the tracker down the side of the rocky face and to the plains at the bottom.

If Aurelius were to find the missing men, he would undoubtedly be commended for his actions, bringing him closer to a position where he could have more responsibility in tactical planning rather than being in the thick of the fighting. After years of working up the ranks, he could almost taste his success. The sooner he locates the missing men and the female prisoner, the sooner he could go back and claim his just reward.   

 

* * *

 

Two days had gone by since they left the comfort and safety of the cabins at the reservoir. With Gael sitting on Aelius’ shoulders, he and Ash made good timing on their trek before nightfall came and they made camp on the side of a grassy hill. The path they took was slightly longer, but the scenery and untouched nature of the area made Aelius and Ash glad they took the longer route. Fields of long grass, colourful flowers that brought a curious look and smiles to Gael’s face, and even evergreen trees made their trek through the wilderness very pleasant. Aelius didn’t even know that such beautiful places existed anymore, he thought that they had all been destroyed by the bombs during the Great War. It was difficult not to picture himself making a home for himself here.

The day passed very quickly and the road they took was ideal, free of predators and any signs of human civilisation. He estimated that they had crossed just under thirty miles before they stopped. If they carried on like this, they would get to Ash’s hometown in less than a week!

“Alright Gael, time for us to set up camp”, Aelius picked the boy up and off his shoulders, setting him down on his feet. The boy went off to help his mother unfurl their sleeping bags and set a boundary for their camp, while Aelius ventured further ahead to pick up materials for a camp fire. He made sure to collect enough rocks to create a wall around their fire to hide as much of the light given off as possible, just in case there was anyone watching. Appearances could be deceiving, and even though the area looked to be clear and safe, Aelius’ experience taught him better.

They gathered around the fire and prepared the evening meal without saying much, exhausted from the long day’s trek and wanting nothing more than to curl up in their sleeping bags.

“I’ll take the first watch”, Aelius said with a mouthful of food, but Ash shook her head.

“You should be the one to get some rest first, you must be exhausted”.

“I’m fine”, Aelius shook his head, taking another bite of the cured radstag meat he prepared when they were at the cabin.

“Well, I insist”, Ash sighed, “Besides, we’re in a relatively safe spot and haven’t encountered any predators around”.

“We still have to be wary, especially in areas that seem safe”.

Ash nodded, “And I will be. Believe it or not, I’ve done this before”.

After a moment considering her offer, Aelius gave in and agreed with Ash.

“If you see or hear anything, or feel like you can’t stay awake any longer –“

“I’ll wake you, don’t worry”, she finished his sentence.

With Gael and Aelius settled in their respective sleeping bags, Ash sat a few paces in front of them and took first watch, resting her back on a smooth, flat side of a rock and one of the machetes in her hands. She watched Gael and Aelius as they slumbered, their bodies rising and falling with each breath, and she listened to the soothing sounds of crickets around them as the waning moon’s light cast an otherworldly radiant glow to the land around them. Ash breathed in the fresh, crisp air, and found herself picturing a life for herself and Gael on the top of one of these hills, so far away from the troubles and pain she experienced in her previous life and with so much potential.

 

* * *

 

“Over here”, Aurelius heard the tracker in front call out. After marching for two days and following a set of footprints that Aurelius could barely discern himself, they finally came across another discovery. It was the body of one of their own.

“Do we know who this is?” Aurelius asked, kneeling down to examine the contorted and bloody decaying body.

“Valens. One of the scouts from the party that separated from the main group”, one of the soldiers answered.

“So, now we know who the deserter is”, Aurelius mused, standing back up onto his feet and ripping out a piece of paper from his journal to write down the information, “Who among you will volunteer to take this information to Caesar?”

One of the men, a Scout, stepped forward and at attention.

“Very good”, Aurelius answered absentmindedly, his eyes focused on the message he was writing, “Take this note to Caesar himself, and let him know we will carry on in our pursuit to find Aelius, the absconder”.

The Scout nodded, placed the note carefully in one of his satchels secured to his belt, and proceeded to run back to their master.

“What of the woman and child that are travelling with him?” the tracker asked eagerly, “Shouldn’t we notify Caesar of this as well?”

“If we find them with our deserter, we will capture them. They will be an added bonus for us; maybe Caesar will be generous enough to give the woman to one of you as a reward. I will be sure to point him to the ones who have contributed most to this hunt”.

His words were met with laughter and nods of approval from the men, and Aurelius could see the glint in their eyes at the prospect of taking a female for themselves. No doubt this would provide them with much needed motivation for the road ahead, but when the time would come to capture the runaways, Aurelius would need to make sure he kept control over them and not allow them to rip their prey to pieces before he got the chance to get his reward from Caesar himself.

* * *

Exhausted from their trek and with the cool breeze and calming sound of the crickets, Ash was finding it hard to stay awake. Her body shivered in protest to her staying awake for so long and she pulled the blanket around her shoulders tighter, trying to relax her muscles so her teeth chattering wouldn’t wake her son and Aelius.

 _‘Another hour or so, then I’ll wake him up’_ , she thought to herself.

The moon had disappeared beyond the horizon a while ago and engulfed the serene field in complete darkness, save for the twinkling stars above them. The fire they had made in their pit had died to embers but Ash didn’t want to add any more timber to it fearing that they could be spotted by anyone who could be around. In the darkness, her mind swam in terrifying thoughts of Cannibal tribes that could be lurking behind the trees, or rabid molerats that were just waiting to spring out from the ground and attack them.

 _‘Get a hold of yourself! You’re not a little girl anymore’,_ she chastised herself, feeling somewhat embarrassed that she would still be afraid of the dark in her advancing years.

When she finally dragged her mind out of the dark recesses of her own thoughts and heaved a silent sigh to relax herself, she felt the hackles on the back of her neck rise and a deep, primal fear bubble from within.

The crickets has stopped chirping.

Ash’s heart began to race in her chest and she felt an instinct in her gut kick her into motion. Although she couldn’t see what was causing this primal reaction within herself, she knew she had to act on it.

“Aelius… Aelius! Wake up!” she whispered urgently, shaking him awake.

“Wh…what is it?” he muttered, taking in a deep breath as he woke, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, but something doesn’t feel right”, she shivered as Aelius sat up and grabbed his machete.

She was right. Not long after Aelius woke, he felt a cold shiver up his spine.

“The crickets…they’ve stopped”, Aelius commented in a hushed voice, “I’ll get Gael and the bag, you get our sleeping bags”.

Before Ash could do anything, they heard a familiar sound some distance away that made their blood run cold. It was the guttural, low rumble of a Deathclaw.

“Hurry”, Aelius whispered, slinging the bag over his shoulder and cradling Gael in his arms. Thankfully the boy was still asleep. He could hear Ash’s light footsteps behind him as they made their way down the hill, hearts pounding in their ears and feeling the rush of adrenaline give their legs speed.

Deathclaws are notoriously stubborn hunters, tracking their prey for hours, sometimes days. Though their eyesight is poor their other senses easily make up for that. Deathclaws have the ability to detect and track their prey even at long distances, their hearing can detect the slightest rustling up to a mile away, and some Deathclaws even have the ability to camouflage themselves perfectly into their background, making them extremely difficult to find. Luckily, due to their large size and weight, Deathclaws aren’t able to run for long periods of time and so if action is taken quickly, people can easily outrun them and get to safety. Aelius hoped that the Deathclaw hadn’t picked up on their scent and that they left with enough time that they could outrun it.

 

* * *

 

Ash and Aelius didn’t stop running until dawn broke on the horizon. Gael had woken up a while ago but was keeping quiet, his eyes wide and watching their surroundings fearfully. No doubt he could sense their fear, and when Ash took him into her arms to hug him he clutched onto her as if his life depended on it.

“Do you think we lost it?” Ash panted, sweat glistening on her face as her hair stuck to her skin.

“I dunno… Hope so”, Aelius huffed, wiping beads of sweat off his brow, “We’ll rest for a few moments here”.

Ash nodded and took a deep drink of water from one of their supply bottles, passing it to Aelius when she finished.

Once he took a moment to catch his breath, something caught Aelius’ eye on the horizon in front of them. It was still a little dark to see with full clarity, but he was certain that he could see an outline of some buildings in the distance.

“I think we’ll be okay. Look”, he pointed to the horizon ahead, “Looks like there’s some shelter there. At the very least, a settlement”.

“You’re right”, Ash breathed deeply, hugging her son tight, “I just hope what we find there isn’t as bad as what was behind us”.

Giving them both another few moments to catch their breaths, Aelius picked Gael back up and they were on their feet again, heading in the direction of the buildings. From time to time Aelius glanced behind them, wary of the fact that they almost had a close encounter with a Deathclaw. Thankfully he couldn’t see anything following them, but that didn’t mean that they were safe. He pressed on with Ash, giving her words of encouragement when he caught her faltering or strafing off to one side. She was visibly exhausted and barely able to keep her eyes open. Aelius felt guilty that he didn’t insist on taking the first watch himself; at least she would have gotten some rest then.

“We’re almost there. Just another mile or two”, he commented, propping Gael up in his arms and gently holding Ash by arm so she didn’t slack on her pace or trip on her feet. They could see the buildings in front of them, and from its initial appearance, it didn’t seem to be populated. The tallest building was a church with a tall bell tower. If the inside of the church was still intact, it would make a good place to get up there and use the tower as a vantage point to get a good view of the surroundings.

Finally, after a painstaking hour, the three of them reached the church.

“I’ll go in front, you cover my back”, he whispered to Ash. She nodded, keeping her machete at the ready as Aelius opened the creaky door and led them inside slowly and carefully. 

It was dark and musty in the church, but there didn’t seem to be anyone or anything around. Aelius guided them down the centre of the pews and to the back where the stairs took them to the upper level. Although it was dusty and all the glass windows had been destroyed, the church itself was in good condition given its situation. There was a room on the first floor with a metal frame double bed, a storage shelf on the wall and a desk to one side with an old-world typewriter and office accoutrements. Whoever had used this room before was long gone by now.

Aelius set Gael down on the springy bed, “Alright, both of you stay here and keep your eyes and ears open for anything. I’m going to check for traps and any unwanted visitors”, he whispered to Ash.

“Be careful”, she whispered back, a concerned look on her weary and sweaty face. They didn’t move while Aelius checked every nook and cranny, including the top of the bell tower. Every creak and groan of the building’s structure made Gael and Ash twitch with fear. When Aelius didn’t find anything of concern, he came back down to quell their worries.

“We’re alright here in the church, but I would like to take a look around the area in the afternoon after we have some rest”, he said, laying down his machete on the floor.

Ash was barely holding her eyes open, “That’s good… I could use a little shut eye”.

Aelius nodded and gave her an encouraging smile, “That sounds good. You and Gael rest up and I’ll keep an eye out”.

“You sure?” Ash asked sleepily, “What about you?”

“I’m fine. Besides, I’ve already had a doze before we were rudely interrupted by the Deathclaw”, he took a blanket out of his bag and placed it over her and Gael, “I insist”.

Ash smiled and nodded, pulling Gael close to her. With Aelius watching over them less than an arm’s length away, she felt safe and sound. Her eyelids felt so heavy that as soon as they closed with a flutter, all her worries washed away and she fell fast asleep.


	9. Dancing With The Devil

Several hours after Dawn left her cabin, Joshua came up to spend some time with Mary and to get more of the skin salve for his treatment. Mary had grown accustomed to seeing him almost every day, and it seemed Joshua was comfortable enough to go bandage free around her and the two children; she just wished that he could feel this comfortable and free when he went outside.

They sat on the porch outside her cabin, admiring the sunset on the horizon and drinking cool lemonade.

“I could stay here forever”, Joshua sighed contentedly.

“Nothing stopping you”, Mary smiled as she sipped her drink, “I could use a handy man around the cabin to help with repairs and lifting heavy items”.

Joshua chuckled and shook his head, “Out of the two of us, you’re the one who is handier. I’m just good with a gun”.

“Is this your way of trying to get out of work?” Mary laughed.

“No! Not at all”, Joshua winked at her, “But in all honesty, I wouldn’t shy away from earning my keep”.

“I know”, Mary nodded, observing him with a smile, “If you want to stay, you are more than welcome”.

They sat together in silence for a while, appreciating each other’s company and the cool breeze.     

“How’s everything in town going?”, Mary asked after a while.

Joshua shrugged and poured himself another glass of lemonade from the jug on the small end table between them, “Good. As always, nothing new or unpredictable ever happens. It’s funny, but I’m certain it hasn’t changed since I left when I was a young man”.

Mary chuckled and nodded, “I think the last time something exciting happened around here was when you were brought in several months ago”.

“Hmm… Sometimes I wonder if, because nothing ever happens in this town, people are so bored that they try to find…ways to amuse themselves”, Joshua commented somewhat acerbically, and Mary noticed the change in his tone.

“I suppose that’s true, for some people”, she replied, wondering whether he was referring to a certain someone they had in common.

Joshua turned to look at her, admiring the way she looked with the way the light from the sunset highlighted her features. Her hair was done in a half up-do with an attractively messy bun at the top and lose strands that framed her face quite beautifully. “If I stayed up here forever, the town would certainly have something to amuse themselves with”.

Mary chuckled and sipped her drink, hoping that Joshua didn’t notice her flushed face. She had her own thoughts about what constituted amusement together with Joshua.

“Sounds to me like this is something that’s bothering you”.

With a frustrated exhale and grunt, Joshua stood up from his chair and picked up his empty glass and jug to take back inside the cabin, “I’m sorry. Dawn has been…a bit of a nuisance for me all day. I am grateful for her love and support, but I have forgotten how overbearing she can be sometimes”.

His disclosure made Mary curious and she turned to him with a questioning expression, “Really? Whatever about?”

The question made Joshua blush and he quickly shrugged and made his way back inside, “Erm, nothing important. Forget I said anything”.

Mary got out of her chair and followed close behind him, “Alright, if you’re sure”, she made her way into the kitchen and started finishing the preparations for their dinner while Joshua stood by, watching her work and ready to offer help if she requested it.

“Speaking of Dawn, I’ve had a run in with her today”, she started, feeling Joshua’s attention snap to her, “She came up to the cabin and wanted to have a talk. About you, no less”.

Joshua’s eyes were wide with fearful expectation of what Mary had revealed.

“Dare I ask?” he grumbled.

“Don’t fault her too much, Joshua. She means well and wants to see you happy”, Mary answered, handing him his plate filled with food and a basket of freshly baked corn bread for him to take to the dining table.

“This has gone too far”, he grumbled, “I’m going to have a talk with her when I get back”.

“No need, I took care of the matter for both of us”, Mary replied confidently, taking her own plate of food and sitting with Joshua at the table, “I don’t imagine she’ll be bothering either of us. At least, for a while”.

“What did you say to her?” Joshua asked, an amused look in his eyes. If she had found a way to quell Dawn’s persistent nagging, he wanted to know about it.

Mary shrugged, “I simply told her that it wasn’t proper what she was doing, and behind your back too”, she grinned, recalling the shocked expression on Dawn’s face, “And that you and I are adults who can run our own lives. She left in a huff, but it needed to be said”.

Joshua leaned back in his seat, watching her with admiration and a sense of guilt at the fact that she had to suffer Dawn’s stubbornness.

“I do have a question though, and I apologise that it’ll be a very blunt one”, Mary said, setting her cutlery aside and focusing her gaze on Joshua’s.

“Go ahead”, Joshua answered, taking a bite of the delicious bread.

“Dawn mentioned that you are in love with me. Is it…true?”

Suddenly taking a bite out of the bread didn’t seem like a good idea as Joshua’s throat closed up, nearly choking him on his food.

“I shouldn’t have asked”, Mary shook her head regretfully, handing him a glass of cool water to help with his coughing.

“No… No, it’s alright”, Joshua stuttered, taking a long drink to clear his throat before he attempted to speak again.

Sometimes Mary wondered if her honesty and straight forwardness was one of her flaws, “You don’t have to answer that. I spoke before even thinking about it”.

“It’s fine, Mary”, Joshua grinned at her, “In fact… it’s one of the qualities I love about you”.

A grin spread on Mary’s lips, so wide that it made her cheeks ache, “So… you _do_ love me”.

Now it was Joshua’s turn to flush, “It would be foolish of me not to be honest and admit that I do... _care_ about you; and that you are in my thoughts every moment of every day”,

"Ah, but you said _love_ ", Mary smiled and wiggled happily in her seat, a sense of satisfaction at watching Joshua squirm right in front of her.

He leaned forward and took one of her hands in his, caressing it as if it was the most precious thing to him, “Yes, I did say that, didn't I?... and I _do_. So, in the spirit of being honest and open, there’s also another confession that I have to make to you”.

“What’s that?”

He took a moment to compose his words before proceeding with an answer, knowing well that words can have a weighty impact on people, especially if said in the wrong way. “I will always be indebted to you for helping me in my road to recovery, and for being the only one who can melt my pain away when I’m with you”, he sighed and leaned back in his chair, “And if you were to ask me if I pictured myself having a life with you; well, I won't deny that I haven’t thought about it. You will always have my love, but… there is a part of me that feels I cannot have that future”.

“Because of your past?”

Joshua nodded solemnly, “Please, I don’t want you to take my words the wrong way Mary. I just need you to understand”.

“I do”, Mary nodded, feeling a slight lump in your throat, “You’ve been through so much in your life that, at times, you feel undeserving of the kindness that is shown to you”.

“Exactly”, Joshua nodded, “So… you know how I feel”.

“I do. I’ve had to deal with survivor’s guilt myself when I first got here”, Mary sighed, recognising the tell-tale signs of the psychological condition which she struggled through a long time ago.

Mary’s answer took Joshua aback, “What?”

“From what you’ve told me and what I have observed, you are going through this too”.

Joshua shook his head, “I don’t see how”.

Mary leaned in slightly and touched his hand, “After surviving my own horrors, I used to feel a lot like you do right now. I was numb for a long time, then when relief kicked in I started to feel guilt because I had survived while so many innocent people around me perished. Why did _I_ get to feel relief, happiness, or anything good? And I wondered whether I could or should have done anything more to prevent the deaths of others. It made me retreat into myself, and I didn’t want to have anything to do with anyone because I didn’t believe I was deserving of their help or affections. Sound familiar?”, Mary asked.

Mary’s words struck a chord within Joshua; he couldn’t deny that he was feeling exactly as she had described, and it seemed to only be getting worse with time. But he didn’t know what to do about it and somehow, he felt like admitting it would only make him spiral further down into the darkness.

“Actually… Yes, it does”, he admitted hesitantly after a moment, “What did you do to get over this?”

“Your people helped me greatly”, she smiled at him, “They didn’t take no for an answer, even though at first I rejected their help. Then I came to realise that what they wanted more than anything was for me to get better and that they wouldn’t go away until they were sure I was alright. I started recovering when I began accepting one little act of kindness from others a day”.

“And now… You’re healed?” Joshua asked.

Mary sighed and broke her gaze from him, “Honestly, I’m not sure. Some days are harder than others. There’s not a day that goes by when I don’t think about what happened, but now I know that I am alive for a reason and spending my days in recluse and despair would be an insult to my family and friends who didn’t make it. I know that if I carried on, it would have been the same as if my own life was taken from me that day. So, every day, I make a conscious decision not to allow myself to fall into that pit, but to do something worthwhile with my life and my limited time on this Earth”.

Her words rendered him speechless and he saw this beautiful, caring and generous woman in a new light. She was a survivor and one of the wisest human beings he had ever come across.

“You’re right…” he nodded after a moment of silent contemplation, “Although our experiences are different, in my core I do feel this way”.

Mary’s gaze met his and, for a moment, he could accept having a happy life together with her. He never expected that his mind would be swayed in this manner, and although he knew that right now he felt he was undeserving of her and the kind affection she was giving him, it gave him hope that one day he would feel differently.

“It does get better over time. By acknowledging it, you’ve just taken the first step towards getting better”.

“Then, before I allow doubt to take over again… As a second step, I would like to ask if I could stay here with you from now on”, he said, watching her expression change back to bliss, “That is, if the offer is still on the table”.

“It was always there”, she smiled, leaning over the table to give him a sensual kiss that gave him a rush throughout his body. His mind swam with lustful thoughts, so much so that it took all of his willpower not to act on them.

“What was that for?” he asked after she sat back down in her seat.

“To say that I love you too”.

Her words washed every negative thing he thought about himself away, leaving him with a love drunk smile that brightened his features and made him feel like a foolish young man again. Leave it to a Quaker to see the best in someone and bring it out into the world.

 

* * *

 

The afternoon rolled in quickly with Aelius keeping an eye out for Ash and Gael while they slept. He took a seat by an open window, watching for any movement outside. There was no indication that they were followed by the Deathclaw but that didn’t mean the threat was gone. Aelius would have to keep a watchful eye just in case.

Gael stirred in his mother’s arms, turning away from her and stretched, his tired eyes blinking the sleep away.

“Aelius?” his little groggy voice called out.

“I’m here”, Aelius whispered, still in his seat by the window, “You alright?”

“I’m thirsty”, he grumbled as he rubbed his eyes.

Aelius went over to his backpack and pulled out his water bottle, “Here you go bud”. He handed Gael a drink and watched the boy down almost half of it in small gulps. “Wow, you were really thirsty”, he commented when Gael handed him the bottle back. It was a stark reminder that they needed to find a water supply before they set out again. Ash was still fast asleep, not even reacting to Gael as he wiggled to get into a more comfortable position. When he went back to sleep, Aelius struggled to decide whether he should remain in the church or venture outside to one of the other buildings and try to find some supplies. The sun was well past its zenith, Aelius estimated it was probably around 3PM. Before long the sun would be setting and the opportunity to explore the area under natural light would be lost. With a long exhale, he decided that he would take a chance and explore the immediate vicinity; at least to look for some water to replenish their supply. Taking a piece of paper and pencil from the desk, he wrote a note for Ash so that she wouldn’t worry if they woke up before he was back and set it on a pillow next to her head. He took his machete with him, leaving the supply bag with them should they need anything. Without a sound, he made his way stealthily down the stairs and out of the church, making sure to close the doors… just in case.

Outside it was eerily quiet; not even a breeze stirred the air. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something about this place gave him an uneasy feeling. Aelius sneaked across the road as quietly as possible to one of the smaller buildings; an old world supply shop. With any luck, he hoped that the place still had some supplies left.

Propping the door to the old shop open in case he needed to make a quick getaway, Aelius snuck inside, keeping low to the ground and his hand on the handle of his weapon, ready to strike if the need called for it. Behind the counter he found a first aid box with some antiseptic and antibiotics, which he promptly pocketed, as well as some bobby pins, plenty of shopping baskets, and a floor safe. Taking one of the bobby pins he found, he used it to pick the easy lock of the safe door. With a satisfying click the safe unlocked and inside Aelius found a stack of old world money, some faded paperwork, a box of .45 ammo and a .45 auto pistol.

 _‘Now this will come in handy’_ he thought happily. It wasn’t as powerful as some of the ranged weapons the Legion had, but it was a ranged weapon nonetheless and with a well-aimed shot it would kill instantly.

The clanging sound of an empty can hitting the floor some distance away made Aelius almost jump with surprise. He quickly pulled his machete out and made his way in the direction of the noise, feeling his heart in his throat and the all too familiar adrenaline kick. Down the end of the corridor was an open room with almost empty shelves strewn around with what used to be a glass wall to his left running all the way down the side of the building. Another clanging sound caught his attention, coming from the end of the room where the clerk’s counter was. Aelius sneaked stealthily down the room, taking cover between shelves, but before he even reached the counter a brown furry creature jumped up on the surface from behind with great agility and its wide golden eyes fixed upon him, licking its lips. It was smaller than a mole rat, with thick striped brown fur, small pointed ears at the top of its head, a long swishing tail, and the pupils of its eyes were vertical. Aelius had never seen a creature like this before, so he had no idea what to expect from it. He stood still waiting for the creature to attack, but instead the animal trilled and proceeded to go about its way, pushing empty cans off of the counter top with its paws and watching them hit the worn tile floors with what Aelius could only guess was satisfaction.

“Stop that!” he blurted out and moved toward the creature, which made it arch its back and hiss at him. It didn’t run away though, making Aelius warily keep his distance away from it in case it decided to attack. It was either a creature that was quite strong despite its small appearance, or extremely overconfident… Or both. Aelius observed it, and after a moment its back relaxed and it went about its way climbing up a shelf on the wall, ignoring him completely.

“Don’t mind me… I won’t hurt you”, he whispered at the creature while he slowly went around the back of the counter and looked in the shelves underneath, finding a key to one of the storage rooms in another safe in the floor. He hit the jackpot this time, for as soon as he opened the door to the storage room he found at least a dozen bottles of purified water, Nuka Cola and Sunset Sarsaparilla sitting on some rusting shelves. Just as he was about to start collecting the bottles, he thought he heard shuffling movement outside. Keeping low and making his way back where he started from. As he got closer and the sound intensified, he felt the hairs on his body stand on end and his heartbeat race. Then he saw it; the tail slithering to the back of the church of a giant sand coloured beast at least ten feet high. The Deathclaw had followed them!

Although the mere thought of facing the creature made his blood run ice cold, he was more afraid of what would happen should it find a way inside the church. Ash and Gael were probably still asleep; they would be caught completely off guard and without any way of defending themselves. It seemed to be sniffing the ground where they passed through and the doors to the church, standing up on its hind legs every once in a while to sniff the air around it as well. When the beast began pressing on the front doors of the church, Aelius knew he had to do something or it would break through.

“Hey! HEY! Over here!” he stood just outside of the doorway, waving his arms above him like an idiot to get its attention. The Deathclaw’s heavily horned head turn to face him and it released a blood curdling growl that rippled through the air.

‘Well, you have its attention…Now what?’ Aelius thought desperately, his eyes darting around his surroundings.

Without warning, the creature roared and launched itself at him, swiping its massive arms to try and grab him. Aelius dodged its massive claws by inches, retreating back into the shop he was in and getting behind one of the counters to load the pistol he recently found while the Deathclaw screeched like a banshee just outside. It paced back and forth with its head low to the ground looking for a way in.

“ _Aelius?!”_ he heard Ash’s voice call in the distance.

“No no nono!” he muttered as the Deathclaw turned its attention back to the church and let out a deafening roar before charging at the rotting wooden doors and breaking through on the first try.

“Ash! Get to the bell tower!” he yelled, seeing her head sticking out of the lookout window he used not long ago. She disappeared back inside while he went for the front of the building and fired off a shot at the creature that was furiously destroying the ground floor as it tried to find a way up to Ash. He saw the bullet catch it in the shoulder.

“Over here you ugly fucker”, Aelius yelled, instantly feeling regret at not thinking his actions through. There was nowhere to hide and he was out in the open when the Deathclaw charged at him. He turned to run but the animal caught the back of his ankle with its claw, sending him sprawling on all fours. He turned on his back and fired all remaining bullets in the chamber at it, managing to deter it enough to get back on his feet and make a run for cover. Just as was about to jump through an open door of a small storage warehouse, he felt something heavy wallop him from the left so hard it knocked all the air out of his lungs and sent him sliding at least twenty feet away from safety. Now sprawled on his back, seeing stars and unable to get any air into his lungs, Aelius knew he was done for. The creature picked him up in one hand that was longer than he was tall and roared triumphantly at him. All Aelius could think was the last thing he would see before he died wasn’t his family, or friends, but a crimson red open mouth lined with knife like teeth, as if the Devil himself had come to gobble him up.

 

* * *

 

 Gael sobbed into his mother’s chest as she screamed at the top of her lungs to draw the creature’s attention away from Aelius; but it was too late. Ash could only watch in desperation, sobbing as she saw Aelius’ body go limp when the Deathclaw picked him up and emitted a thunderous roar that made the bell tower shake. But just as the creature was about to bite into Aelius, an air raid alarm coming from the centre of the small town startled her and the Deathclaw below. It tossed Aelius’ unconscious body and turned to face the sound, its head moving side to side like a snake. What followed next were loud clanging sounds of metal against metal, and out of the shadows of the buildings behind them, over a dozen people with their bodies and faces wrapped up in cloth, came out and made their way quickly towards the Deathclaw while banging metal pots and pans together to create as much noise as possible. They shouted, whooped and yelled as loud as they could; and it appeared to be working. The Deathclaw, now outnumbered, started taking a few steps away from the town, roaring in disapproval of being denied its kill. Finally, the sound of a shotgun going off scared it enough to make it turn tail and run at speed away from everyone, disappearing into the distance. Once the danger was gone, two individuals below approached Aelius and examined him, turning him over and trying to wake him.

“Hey! Up here!” she waved an arm out of the tower to get their attention.

“Who are you?!” a man’s gruff and rasping voice asked from the crowd below, “What are you doing here?!”

“We don’t mean harm, we’re just travellers passing through”, Ash answered, “Please! Is my friend alright? Is he alive?”

One of the individuals who was looking Aelius over stood back up and nodded, “He’s breathing”, she heard the voice call.

“Do you need help getting down?” another gruff but gentler voice called.

“Of course they do Marjorie, go get the ladder with David”, the first man’s voice instructed and two of them ran off to do as they were told.

“Hold tight, we’ll get you down”.

Ash watched patiently as their strange saviours got to work, and before long she was making her descent from a long ladder that one of them secured to the window in the room she and Gael had slept in. One thing she noticed was that all of them were completely covered up from head to their toes in fabric, with only a small slit opening for their eyes. And when she heard them speak they all had the same rasp to their voices. She held Gael tightly and tried to keep her distance, fearful that these people were probably suffering from some sort of incurable disease.

“Follow me”, one of them said. From the gentler sounding voice, Ash assumed that she was a woman. She took her down the road and into a building at what looked like the end of town. All the buildings around them were in horribly weathered conditions, but there was one which looked like it was an infirmary.

“Do you all live here?” Ash asked hesitantly, her eyes darting around and absorbing their environment.

“Yes”, her guide answered curtly.

“How long have you lived here?”

“I was born here. Most of us were”.

“Oh”, Ash looked her up and down warily, wondering why anyone would want to stay here in this ghost town.

Climbing up the short steps to the front porch of the infirmary, her guide opened the door for her and Gael and ushered them inside, “The doctor is looking after your friend just inside”.

Ash nodded and entered the building, winding her way through the corridors where she could hear voices. When she reached the room and saw Aelius lying unconscious and badly injured, she couldn’t hold in her shock. He was stripped down to his underwear and his body already badly bruised, especially his left side where the Deathclaw struck him with its tail. Ash also noticed that he had badly bleeding puncture wounds on his chest, ribs, and his upper thighs, most probably from the creature’s sharp claws when it picked him up. Two covered individuals wearing white coats over their draped bodies were quickly working to save his life. Feeling Gael stir in her arms to look inside the room, she placed a hand firmly over his eyes so he wouldn’t see the grisly scene.

“Don’t look Gael”, she murmured.

One of the wrapped individuals overheard them and took them both out of the room.

“I’m sorry, but it’s probably best if you stay out here. The doctor’s getting ready for surgery”, she said.

“Surgery?” the colour drained from Ash’s face, “But… is he that badly injured?”

“He has several broken ribs, internal bleeding, and deep puncture wounds; one of which has broken his femur. He’s extremely lucky to be alive”, she replied, “But don’t worry, our doctor is one of the best surgeons around. Please, take a seat in the waiting room, I will update you on everything I promise”.

Ash gulped and suppressed a sob, trying not to think about Aelius lying there on the doctor’s table even though the image felt like it was burned into her mind.

“Okay”, she nodded, feeling her body begin to shiver.

The woman nodded and went back inside to help the doctor.

Ash shakily took a seat in the waiting room on one of the worn couches, hugging Gael tightly.

“Mommy, is Aelius okay?” he looked up at her, his face streaked with tears.

She wanted to say yes, wanted him to think that everything was going to be alright; but she didn’t have those answers.

“I dunno Gael… He’s been badly hurt”, she sniffed, wiping her and Gael’s tears away, “But there’s a doctor here and he’s helping him. So, we just gotta stay positive and hopeful that Aelius pulls through, okay?”

Gael’s face contorted in pain and sorrow and he burrowed his face in her shoulder, sobbing quietly as Ash rocked him gently side to side to console him. Ash hadn’t prayed in a long time, almost before she left New Canaan. Her own religion never seemed to quite fit with her while she was growing up, her late husband never liked religion and Gael was too young to even understand what it meant, so Ash never found a reason to start again; that was until this day. For the first time in over a decade, she reached out to whatever higher power was listening and said a silent prayer for Aelius, begging for him to pull through.

* * *

 

Several hours later, so long that it was the middle of the night and Gael had fallen asleep while Ash was herself dozing on her arm, they were still waiting for news on Aelius' condition. A gentle knock on the door frame roused her and Ash saw the female doctor standing at the entrance to the waiting room. She was missing her white coat, but Ash could see small blood stains on parts of her wrap.

“We finished the surgery”, she sighed, and Ash could feel her heart sinking as she watched the woman standing there tentatively.

She took a shaky breath, trying to steady herself as much as possible, “Is he alive?”

The woman nodded, “It was touch and go for a while. He’s stable, for now, but he has lost a lot of blood and we don’t have any O negative blood packs or those matching his blood type”.

“I’m O negative”, Ash answered without hesitation, sitting up straighter in her seat, “You can use mine”.

“That’s incredibly fortunate!” the woman replied, and although Ash couldn’t see her face she could tell from her tone that she was hopeful, “If you’ll follow me, I’ll take you to the room next door and we’ll make a start”.

Ash nodded, cradling Gael in her arms and carrying him with her. Setting her still sleeping son down on an empty doctor’s table next to her, she sat in the chair the doctor set aside for her and rolled up her sleeves so the needle could be inserted into her vein. The doctor’s work was painless and very quick, it didn’t take long before they had two blood packs filled with Ash’s blood, tested and confirmed to be O negative and ready to be administered.

“Here, have this to drink and eat as much of this fancy lad’s snack cake as you can”, she handed Ash a bottle of Nuka Cola and a cupcake, “It’ll help you feel less queasy”.

“Thanks”, Ash’s voice was groggy and weak. She was feeling chilly and had a slight shiver from donating the blood, but after a moment sipping on the sugary drink she started to feel better, “Can I go see him?”

The doctor nodded and once Ash stopped feeling so shaky, she led her to the surgery room. The male doctor was still hovering close to Aelius, keeping an eye on the blood bag. He pulled up a chair for Ash and explained the situation to her, as well as the myriad of injuries Aelius had sustained.

“Overall, the surgery was a success. He should be able to fully recover within a couple of weeks. Once he’s awake and I’m certain his constitution is stable, I will administer a diluted stimpak to help his bones knit faster. I imagine you’ll want to get back to your journey as soon as possible”, he said, writing some notes down on his clipboard.

“Uh, yes, ideally. But we aren’t in too much of a hurry; we can stay until Aelius has regained mobility”, Ash replied.

“I see…”

Although she couldn’t see his face, Ash detected disappointment in his tone. “Excuse me, I don’t mean to sound ungrateful or anything, but… Who are you people? And why are you all covered up?” she looked at them both curiously, “Are you… sick?”

The male doctor exhaled frustratedly, “We’re not contagious, if that’s what you’re afraid of”, he set his clipboard on the end table and pulled his coat around him tighter and quickly made for the door, “If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got other work to attend to”.

After a moment, the woman turned to Ash and apologised for her co-worker’s behaviour, “Please, excuse doctor Ormond. He’s been under a lot of pressure lately trying to find a cure for our people”.

“That’s alright, I understand”, Ash smiled up at her, “And I’m sorry if my question was intrusive. I didn’t mean to pry into your situation. Lord knows I’m the last person who should be doing that”.

The woman turned to the door, as if checking to hear that they wouldn’t be interrupted or overheard, before turning back to Ash and hesitantly removing part of the cloth wrapped around her face. What lay underneath was gnarled skin with discoloured blotches, patches of hair missing from her scalp, as well as her nose”.

“You’re a ghoul!” Ash breathed.

“Ah, is that what you call us?” she commented curiously.

“What do you mean?” Ash shook her head.

“Out there. Where you came from”.

It took a second for Ash to come to the realisation that these people had most probably never left this settlement before, and more than likely have had extremely limited contact, if any, with outsiders.

“Wait… Are you… Have you never left your town before?”

The woman shook her head.

“So… Are you the original residents of this town?”

“Yes”, the doctor smiled, wrapping her face back up in the cloth, “We were here before the bombs fell. I can still remember the day it happened, as if it were yesterday. A few of us saw the bomb fly in and hit another larger settlement to the West of us. After that happened, we started seeing symptoms of our disease begin to manifest itself over time. Our skin began to change, most of us lost all our hair, and any parts of our bodies where there was cartilage began to wither away”, she broke her gaze from Ash as if in shame, “We cannot bear to look at ourselves, so we decided to wrap any exposed skin to shield others from the ghastly sight”.

“I can’t imagine… going through all of that. Must have been a shock for all of you”.

“It still is”, she answered, “Well, I’ll leave you with your friend. If you need anything, I am just down the hall. My office is always open”.

“Thank you”, Ash said as the woman started to leave.

“Happy to help those in need”, the woman bowed her head slightly to Ash and quietly left her to sit by Aelius’ side.

Moving her chair closer to his side, her gaze wandered over his injured and bruised body. He was covered around his midriff to protect his modesty, but Ash could see where the doctors needed to carry out their treatment.

“Well, you’ve got some more scars now; mementos to keep from our adventures”, she whispered, gently sliding her delicate hand into his. She sat down and studied his hand in hers. His hands were easily twice the size of hers, rough around the edges and knuckles from hard labour and weapons handling, and pock marked with scars of varying sizes; in stark contrast to her own. She looked up at the blood bag hanging off the IV hook, watching the blood slowly and steadily course into his vein; her blood. Part of her couldn’t help but think that there was now some of her coursing through his body.

“I don’t know if you can hear me, but I’m going to talk to you anyway because there’s a couple things I want to let you know; and, I know this sounds weird, but what I'd like to tell you feels easier to say when you're asleep”, she began, sitting at the edge of her seat and gently resting her chin on his muscular arm. “The doctors say that you’re going to make a full recovery”, she simpered, feeling hot tears well up in her eyes, “So you better get better soon; for Gael’s sake. He was so scared for you today… we both were. I know that I wasn’t nice to you before, but it’s not because I don’t like you. After everything that we’ve been through, it’s hard for me to trust anyone… especially when it comes to my son. He's all I have left... But, I misjudged you; and you two have become best friends so quickly. I think I was afraid that Gael would get his hopes up and that, somewhere down the line, you’d betray his trust. I know now that I shouldn’t have worried. I’m sorry”, she sniffed, giving his hand a squeeze, “You’ve gained both of our trust and friendship. We need you Aelius. And… After we reach New Canaan, you can stay with us… If you want to”.

Ash stayed with him all night, resting her head on the edge of his bed and praying for his speedy recovery until her eyes fluttered closed from exhaustion and she drifted off to sleep by his side.      


	10. 60 Hours To New Canaan

Listening to the crickets chirping outside her bedroom window, Mary tossed and turned in bed unable to sleep. This was the first time in a while that she was having trouble getting to sleep, but maybe that had something to do with her going to bed feeling excited. Almost two weeks had gone by since Joshua moved in and all he had done since then was succeed at keeping her gaze and, despite insisting otherwise, was very handy around the cabin. She'd never would have taken him for a romantic either, but he proved her wrong.

Sighing and turning on her front, she tried to relax and calm her mind, but all she could think about was Joshua…

Joshua chopping wood for the stove. Joshua carrying the buckets of water for her bath. Joshua making her breakfast. Joshua's arms wrapped around her waist as he held her while she made the evening meal. Joshua's gaze lingering on her when he thought she didn't notice.

Her whole body flushed just from thinking about him; it was like she was drunk but still sober.

 _'You're never going to get to sleep if you don't stop thinking about him!'_  Mary buried her head in her pillow, muffling a frustrated groan when a knock on her door made her almost jump out of her skin.

"Yes?" she answered hesitantly after a moment, sitting up and straightening her shirt.

" _Can I come in?_ " Joshua's voice called behind the door.

 _'Can he ever?'_  her inner voice spoke up but was quickly quelled by her more sensible side.

"Yeah", she answered and pulled herself up on the bed.

Joshua walked in, still dressed in his dark jeans and white shirt, "Sorry to bother you, I didn't know if you were asleep".

"It's no bother", she smiled up at him, "Actually I've been having trouble getting to sleep".

Joshua chuckled awkwardly, "Funny, I've been having a hard time getting to sleep myself and was wondering if you were awake", he moved to sit on the chair next to her bed.

"Have you tried reading? I've got several books in the bookcase that are sure to make your eyes feel heavy".

Joshua laughed and it sent a giddy wave through her whole body that made her mind swim. She couldn't get enough of the sound of his voice.

"Truth is, actually, I've not been able to stop thinking", he said, rubbing the back of his head

"Oh? What thoughts have you so wrapped up you can't sleep?"

His eyes met hers and there was something in them that Mary couldn't shake. "Thoughts of you and how much I have enjoyed being here,  _living_  here, with you", he answered, softly gazing into her eyes and taking her breath away, "I know it's only been about two weeks, but I've never felt more at home than here with you".

"Oh…", she gulped, feeling her face flush, "I've enjoyed having you here".

Joshua shifted and looked like he was about to say something before he stopped himself.

"What is it?"

"Oh… Nothing, I just wanted to let you know that I'm very appreciative of you and that I hope you can get to sleep".

Mary smiled and leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek before he stood up and started for the door. An idea had been brewing in her mind all day, and something told her that now was the time to speak up before he left her room.

"Wait!"

He stopped and turned to face her, a confused look in his eyes.

"I, uh… Have a question, that may sound a  _little_ … adventurous for you", she stammered, trying to find a way to make her suggestion without giving him the wrong impression.

"I'm open to a little adventure, now and again", a curious grin crept on his face.

"Well… I was thinking… If you can't get to sleep, and I can't get to sleep, maybe we could try something that might help both of us. And if it doesn't end up working, we can go back to the way it was before".

Joshua stood rooted to the spot, waiting for her to continue.

"How about we try sleeping next to each other?" she shrugged but Joshua could see an eager glimmer in her eye that made him smile.

"You mean, sleep in the same bed…Together?" he took a step forward, placing his hands in his pockets so he wouldn't fidget nervously. The very idea of lying next to her both frightened and thrilled him.

"Yeah", she nodded, biting her lip, "Is that too stupid? If it is, just tell me".

"No, actually, I… I was…  _thinking_  about suggesting it as well", he chuckled nervously, "But it seems I didn't have the courage to do it".

"So… Yeah?" Mary looked up expectantly at him, and when he nodded after a moment's consideration she scooted over to give him room to lie down.

Trying to quell his hesitant and doubting thoughts, Joshua pushed himself past the invisible hurdle and took the empty spot next to Mary. He felt his core quiver as her soft skin brushed up against his while trying to get into a comfortable position. He noticed that she was trying to give him as much room as possible, creating a wide gap between them, but that meant that her back was placed up against the wall.

"You don't have to do that", he said apologetically.

"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable", she hesitated, but Joshua slid his arm under her neck and around her shoulder to pull her closer to him.

"You could never make me feel uncomfortable", he sighed and felt the apprehensive tension melt from his body.

"I mean, I don't want you to feel  _physically_  uncomfortable".

"Oh", he said, realising what she meant, "Well, I don't want you to worry about that".

"Sure?"

Joshua grinned widely and tenderly stroked her cheek, pulling her even closer to him so that her head was resting on his chest, "I'm sure".

Feeling her head rest on his upper body and her arm slide around his waist as her body relaxed into his was the most comforting and heartening thing he'd felt in a very long time. His mind's racing thoughts slowed to a lull, the tension in his body melted away, and for the first time in his life, he felt complete.

He kissed the top of her head, squeezed her gently and felt one of her legs wrap around his, "Sweet dreams, Mary", he sighed happily, "I love you".

"I love you too".

* * *

Almost two days after the incident with the Deathclaw, Aelius finally woke and the doctor made a start on his rehabilitation treatment to get him walking again, much to Ash's relief. Gael insisted on visiting him the moment he found out, and so between his recovery sessions, Aelius would watch over and play with Gael in the infirmary room while Ash explored this small town and its mysterious people. What she did find out, which was very useful for them, was the name of the town. Currently they were in the little town of Manti, which put them less than 60 hours away from New Canaan. The thought of being so close to home was almost overwhelming.

Although quite helpful when Ash needed something mended, more supplies, or even with directions for planning their route to New Canaan, she couldn't help but feel that the townspeople were keeping something from them. Many times she was instructed not to go to the east side of the town without any real explanation as to why, which made her all the more curious to find out what was so bad in the east side that they told her to keep away, even though she saw some of others frequently go there in the evenings.

Walking into the mercantile building, Ash had a browse to see if she could find anything of use to them. She wanted to get everything prepped and ready for their departure so that Aelius didn't have to burden himself with it, and seeing as doctor Ormond, who operated on Aelius, seemed to want them gone as quickly as possible, Ash figured that she may as well spend the time she has on her hands well and effectively.

"Could I help you with finding anything?" the gruff voice from the shop keep asked her behind his counter.

"Erm… Perhaps", Ash answered, "I'm looking for some clothing, and supplies. Preserved food, water, medicines if you have any".

"The doc would be the best person for medicines", he answered, moving away from his till and walking towards the back of the shop with Ash following close behind, "But I do have plenty of clothing and survival supplies for you".

"Great, thank you", she said as she looked over the clean and neatly folded clothing on one of the shelves.

"What size are you after?"

Ash bit her lip and thought for a second, "What's the biggest size you have?"

"Ah, for your friend, I assume?" he said. Ash thought she could detect a smile behind those rags, "Here, these are the largest items of clothing I have. They should fit him… I hope". He handed her a beige linen shirt with rolled up sleeves, a pair of faded blue jeans that looked rugged enough to withstand plenty of walking and a cowboy style belt with a horseshoe shaped buckle.

"Here, he'll probably need a new pair too", the man took down a large pair of boots from the top shelf, "And don't worry if they don't fit. Just come on back in and we'll see if we can't find him something suitable".

"Thank you", Ash took the shoes, placing them on top of the already large pile of items, "But I'm not sure how I could ever afford all of this".

"Nah, don't worry about it. Consider this, and anything else you need for your journey, as a gift from our little town", the man waved her concern away.

"Oh, no, I really couldn't!" Ash stammered and shook her head, but the shopkeeper insisted. He even gave her a new set of clothes for herself and Gael, as well as all the other items she was after; even helped her carry the items to the room they were allocated at the infirmary.

Ash could still hear Gael chatting and giggling with Aelius in the recovery room when she finished sorting through all the items. By the time she'd finished packing up their bags, which were bursting at the seams, she saw doctor Ormond briskly walk down the corridor heard him proceed to scold Gael for causing so much noise and disturbing Aelius.

"What's going on here?" she said with a hint of a threat in her tone.

"Your  _child_  is disturbing my patient", the doctor looked over at her displeasingly, "If you want him to recover, he needs his rest".

"That's no reason to be so abrasive", Ash retorted, "My son wasn't doing anything wrong".

"She's right, doctor. Gael was just keeping me company", Aelius wrapped an arm around the boy as he was beginning to look upset, "Besides, what else am I supposed to do in the long hours between our sessions?"

"Rest!" the doctor looked at him with exasperation.

"But I'm not tired!" Aelius protested, his tone rising from the frustration of having to deal with the doctor's strict rules.

"Doctor, you can't keep us from Aelius when he asks to see us. How about we come up with a compromise? We promise to keep the noise down and to let Aelius rest when he's had enough; keeping him alone in this room, in silence with no mental stimulation would be cruel", Ash tried to reason with the doctor, which seemed to be working.

Ormond's eyes narrowed, glancing from Ash to Aelius and he seemed to consider her words.

"Fine… But keep it down!" he said firmly, "My lab is down the hall and I can hear everything! I have other time sensitive matters that require my attention and if I am disturbed-"

"Noted, doc", Ash interrupted, holding up her hands and nodding, "I'll make sure we keep the noise to a minimum".

"And  _you_ ", he pointed at Aelius, "tired or not, you need your rest. Tomorrow we start trying to get you back on your feet! And by the time we're done, you'll  _wish_  you listened to me today".

Aelius blinked in surprise at the brusqueness of the doctor, who quickly turned on his heel and left them all in stunned.

"Wow", Ash whispered, moving to sit next to Aelius, "He's a character and a half".

"I suppose", Aelius chuckled, letting Gael get back into his mother's arms, "I can't help but somehow feel like I am a burden to him".

"What do you mean?" Ash cocked her head in confusion.

Aelius shrugged, trying to find the best way to describe what he meant, "I dunno… Call it a gut feeling". He sighed and rubbed his aching sides, "Have you been able to find out anything about our gracious hosts?"

"Yeah, a little", Ash nodded hesitantly, setting Gael down and asking him to go to their room so she could speak with Aelius privately. Once Gael was out of earshot, Ash continued to describe her findings, how everyone in this town was a ghoul that had survived the bombs of the Great War, how although people were very kind and helpful towards her she had a nagging suspicion that they were holding something back. "And the doctor keeps saying he has other matters to attend to. What kind of matters is he attending? I haven't seen any sick or injured people around here".

"He could have some patients that aren't able to come to the infirmary", Aelius shrugged.

"Maybe", Ash sighed, shaking her head and feeling a shiver up her spine.

Seeing that the topic was causing her some concern, Aelius shifted in his bed with a groan, "Do you think we have reason to be concerned".

Mulling his question over in her mind, she eventually shook her head, "I think if they meant us harm, they wouldn't have gone through the trouble of helping. But I do feel like they're hiding something from us; and I get the feeling that our presence makes them feel…uncomfortable".

"I see", Aelius exhaled, "Well, no sense prying in their personal affairs. I'll focus on getting back on my feet so we can leave this place as quickly as possible".

"Alright", she nodded, looking him over, "Speaking of getting back on your feet, how are you doing?"

"Well…I've had better days", he winced, remembering the pain he was subjected to in the morning, "Right now I'm not even able to stand on my own. But Peggy assured me that I'll be able to stand and walk a bit on my own two feet tomorrow".

"Peggy?" Ash's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Oh, I meant Doctor Davis", Aelius added, "She was the other one who helped during my surgery. And now she's in charge of my physiotherapy".

"So then she was the one I spoke to and who drew my blood".

"Why did she have to do that?" Aelius asked with concern.

"You had lost a lot of blood after they finished with the surgery", Ash's voice spoke gently, "And they didn't have any blood bags with a suitable blood type. I'm O negative so I volunteered even before the doctor suggested we test if I'm compatible".

"I can't believe you did that…for me", Aelius answered with surprise, "Knowing what I was".

" _Was_ ", she emphasised, "You're not a Legionary any more. You have earned our trust and friendship, many times over in fact".

His eyes welled up a bit and he tried to find the right words to convey his gratitude, "Thank you Ash".

"Don't mention it", she smiled down at him and squeezed his hand, "Just…do me a favour?"

"Anything".

"Try not to get yourself killed", she said and they both broke into a chuckle.

"I will do my best", he nodded, accepting her hand in his. Ash's eyes hovered over the cuts on his body and she felt herself wincing unconsciously.

"It doesn't hurt" he reassured her, noticing her concerned looks, "It just feels…sore".

She bit her lower lip and shook her head, heaving a heavy sigh as if the weight of the world were resting on her shoulders, "You have no idea how worried we were. Seeing you on the doctor's table…well… it was terrifying", she tried to hide her tears by Aelius could see that she was upset, "I really thought this was it; we were going to lose you".

"I know, but it's alright. I'm alright" he smiled up at her, "In a couple of days I'll be back on my feet and we'll be walking out of here. Besides, we gotta be close to your home by now".

"Oh! Yes!" she exclaimed, taking out the map that was folded neatly in her back pocket to show him where they were, "This is where we're at, a little town called Manti. Just north of our position, about a sixty hour walk I estimate, is New Canaan".

Aelius' eyes widened in happy surprise, "That's less than 160 miles from here!"

Ash nodded happily, watching as his blue eyes as they hovered over the map, "And the good news is that from here to New Canaan there are some active settlements along the way. One of the residents working at the Mercantile told me today, and they have caravans that go to and from each settlements, they might even let us travel with them".

"I don't know about that", Aelius looked at her cautiously, "I still think it's better if we stick away from the roads".

"Why?" Ash laughed, "We're so close we can see the finish line. Taking the scenic route will only cost us more time".

"I know but, I still feel like we need to be cautious. We can never truly know how far the Legion's grasp spans across the wastes".

Ash scoffed and waved his concerns away, "I doubt they span this far. Besides, he would never go after this area".

"How do you know?"

"Because Edward Sallow, the man who calls himself Caesar and leader of the Legion, doesn't want to have anything to do with people in this area".

"Why not?"

"From what I hear, it has something to do with his Legate", she pursed her lips.

"If you're talking about Graham, he  _executed_  him by dousing him in pitch and throwing him over a cliff in the Grand Canyon", Aelius countered, raising an eyebrow, "No, I don't believe any where's safe. Not as long as the Legion is still around".

The news that Caesar had executed one of his highest-ranking officers, and closest friends, took Ash aback. Although a big part of her didn't want to believe him and wanted more than anything to believe that they were safe this far north, she couldn't ignore his point.

"Alright, well… We'll just have to be cautious", she added, putting her map back in her back pocket, "I would prefer if we stick to the roads. Less chances of bumping into another Deathclaw".

The corner of Aelius' mouth turned up in a sheepish grin, "Probably right".

Over the next couple of days they planned their route down to a precise schedule between treatments. Two days of physio treatment and diluted stimpaks to speed up his recovery helped Aelius back on his feet, even if he was a bit wobbly on his legs at first. He still sported a slight limp but he was able to maintain a steady gait; running was out of the question, at least for another couple of days until his bones had completed knitting together.

"The doctor says I should be as close to being back to my old self as possible by tomorrow", Aelius grinned as he walked with Ash down the street. Ormond had instructed him to walk as much as he could take and to be on his feet to help his body heal, and it seemed to be working. Not only did it get Aelius out of the boring recovery room and out into some fresh air, but he also got to meet some of the local residents and found them to be very pleasant and helpful, if a little odd at times. They'd just finished collecting some final items for their trip and were returning to Ash's room, admiring the sunset as they walked.

"I bet he's happy you're out", Ash giggled, "He's probably having a party in his lab now, counting down the hours until we leave".

"I think we both know Doctor Ormond doesn't do parties", he quipped, making Ash laugh.

"No, I guess not", she chuckled, "Well, I guess we better start making our way back to the room. Going to be dark out soon"

Aelius nodded and followed her lead. Since his condition had improved, there was no need for him to stay in the recovery room anymore. Instead he found out that he was moved to a room with Ash in what used to be an old world bed and breakfast. The building itself was a two storey place that looked like it used to be someone's house at some point before going through an extension. They made it inside the lobby and when they turned around the corner to go up the stairs to the room, they were surprised to hear people chattering not far away.

"You expecting company?" Aelius joked, and before he could turn around and go around the corner to inspect what was going on, Peggy came out of the reception room carrying a large crystal bowl filled with a light pink liquid.

"Oh! My! You startled me", she whooped, then her amusement turned to regret, "I'm so sorry, this was supposed to be a surprise!"

"A surprise?" Ash's eyebrows raised, "What for?"

"For you three", Peggy gestured to them, "Oh! Now I've gone and ruined it".

"Now that's not possible", Aelius smiled at her, offering to take the heavy bowl out of her hands.

"Thank you", she carefully handed him the bowl, "I suppose we better go in then". She led them inside the reception room, where it looked like the whole town had gathered. As soon as they walked in the crowd turned all their attention to Ash and Aelius, hollering "Surprise" in , and Gael came running up to them from the centre of the gathering.

"Hey! Good for you to finally show up", the leader of the community and the one who helped Ash down from the Church, Tom Reiley, handed them both a bottle of beer.

"Thank you so much", Ash looked up at him gratefully, "You are all too kind"

"It's not every day you meet someone who went up face to face with a Deathclaw and lived", Tom chuckled, clinking bottles with them both, "You're practically celebrities around here".

"I don't know how I could ever repay your kindness and generosity", Aelius bowed his head, "If there's anything you need-"

"Don't think nothin' of it!" Tom interrupted him, patting him on the back, "Why if anything, we should be thankful to you. You three have brought more life to this town since…well… since before the Great War. It was our pleasure and honour to be your hosts. And seeing as Ash mentioned you'll be leaving in a day or so, we wanted to throw you a leaving festivity, so that happiness and good luck may follow you wherever you go".

Aelius could see Ash tearing up a little next to him, trying to hide her humbled reaction by fussing over Gael.

"We baked you a cake!" Gael said rather loudly in excitement, making the whole room erupt in laughter.

"Well, I suppose I'd better go get it!" Tom answered gleefully, running off with Peggy to the kitchen to grab the food and eating utensils while Ash and Aelius mingled with the crowd.

Though they were initially a timid people when Ash, Aelius and Gael first disrupted their quiet lives, the people of the town very quickly warmed to them and showed them such kindness that Aelius had never witnessed before. Listening to their stories of the world that was before the bombs dropped and the lives they led, compared with their current situation, was humbling and awe inspiring. It made Aelius wonder that if this community was able to survive all these centuries without getting destroyed by vicious tribes, mutants, then maybe the Legion's grasp over this territory wasn't as massive as he originally thought.

* * *

The sun was setting on the horizon on the third day by the time Aurelius and his men made it to the reservoir, casting a warm hue over the land. Crossing a little over forty miles in a day without stopping was one of the more physically exerting things he had done in a long time, but they managed to follow the tracks without much incident. When they ran up the hill to get to the reservoir, they were accosted by a stunted yao guai. Luckily there were a dozen of them and only one of the beasts, which they managed to dispatch without any effort.

Harvesting as much of the animal's meat as they could, the group followed the tracker to the top where they found three broken in old world cabins, a recently used grill and fire pit close to the water, strips of crimson cloth from the kind a Legionary soldier wears, and dried crimson blood stains on a bench nearby. There was no doubt that the traitor and the profligates passed through this area not long ago. Aurelius' tracker confirmed what he had expected: they were travelling north. They were so close that Aurelius wanted nothing more than to carry on until he caught up to them, but the men needed their rest.

"It's safe here. We can set up camp for the night", he heard one of the scouts relay the information to him from the edge of the reservoir. He nodded his approval and dropped his gear on a bed inside the cabin, claiming it for himself. If fortune continued to favour them, they could make another forty miles in the new day. Aurelius knew they were close; another day or two on foot and he would be within reach of his next promotion. All he had to do was remain relentless.

* * *

It was one of the happier moments in Aelius' life. Festivities for the evening were the most fun any of them ever had, and they carried on well past midnight. Some of the residents brought out their instruments and working record players for entertainment, and that's when Ash asked Aelius for a dance. He'd never felt so self-conscious or blushed as much as he did in that moment, much to the amusement of the others. Fortunately, he somehow managed to muddle through the dance without stepping on her feet, sacrificing grace and poise for the occasional downward glances at his legs.

When everyone finally had enough of their revelries and started leaving for the night, they found Gael asleep all cosy in a foetal position in an armchair. Aelius picked him up and carried him up to their room which. The room had a spartan old world décor with a work desk and chair, a working computer terminal, a rickety old closet, a small single bed in one corner of the room that almost looked like a child's bed, and a larger double bed in the other corner. No couch for him in sight.

"Erm, maybe I should ask for another room?" he whispered so as not to wake Gael, laying him down on the small bed and tucking him in.

"This is the only room they have that's suitable", Ash shook her head, getting out a blanket from the closet.

Aelius glanced from the bed to the door, rooted to the spot with his uneasiness.

"I can go back to the infirmary then. I'm sure my bed's still there", he made a move to leave but Ash stopped him.

"There's no need! You can sleep here, that was the whole idea".

"But there's no space for me", he glanced around, wondering if he had somehow missed another bed.

"There's a double bed, Aelius", she motioned towards the bed opposite Gael's as if it was obvious to everyone but him, "It'll fit both of us fine".

He stood there wanting to protest but kept his mouth tightly sealed until Ash got into bed and looked up at him as if he were being irrational.

"You gonna sleep standing up like a Brahmin or what?"

"No", he shifted on his feet and felt his face flush.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I meant Big Horner", she grinned cheekily at him, "Lord knows you're as stubborn as one".

Relenting with an exhale, he moved and sat at the edge of the bed and after some fussing, he finally lay on his side, facing away from Ash.

"Are you okay?" he heard her ask behind him.

"Yeah, just…a little cramped, is all", he answered, trying not to let his feeling of discomfort seep into his tone.

"You've got plenty of space", she said, "You don't need to perch on the edge".

He turned his head to see and noticed that he had at least a full foot and a half of space between them.

"Here", she unfurled her blanket and threw half of it over him, "Don't want you to get cold".

"Thanks", he nodded, wrapping it around his chest and inched a little closer to her.

"You can relax. I don't bite", she said as she turned on her side to face him, tucking her arm under her pillow, "I do snore sometimes though".

"Oh, yeah I know", Aelius grinned, remembering some loud snores he heard from her when they were sleeping out in the open, "And Gael farts in his sleep. A  _lot_ ".

Ash burst into a fit of giggles, pulling the blanket over her lower face to stifle the sound, "His farts could put some grown men to shame".

Aelius chuckled quietly next to her, feeling the tension in his body melt. He didn't know why he was so worried about sharing a bed with Ash, but somehow she knew exactly how to put him at ease and he was very grateful for that.

"Good thing we didn't have any tinned beans tonight".


	11. They Came In The Night

Another day and a half of recovery and Aelius was back to his old self. His body had recovered from the injuries, broken bones had knitted well thanks to the treatment provided by Doctors Ormond and Davis, and they had all the equipment and supplies they would need for their journey. All things considered, the three of them were incredibly fortunate to have made it this far all in one piece.

It was dusk by the time both he and Ash got their things in order, their bags packed and waiting for their departure in the morning. They were both about to head down to the kitchen to prepare their evening meal before Donna, their host, knocked on their door and urgently requested they stay inside before quickly leaving down the stairs.

“What do you think that’s all about?” Ash cocked her eyebrow at Aelius.

“Not sure, sounds like there may be trouble”, he answered, “Stay here, I’ll go check it out”.

“No way, I’m coming with you!” she protested, moving past him and rushing down the stairs before he even got a chance to get a word in.

When they made it to the lobby, Donna was rushing around the rooms closing all the shutters and locking every door.

“What’s going on?” Ash asked.

“I told you both to stay upstairs!” she scolded them as if they were little children.

“Are you hiding from someone?”

“You could say that”, she answered in a huff, “If you are not going to listen to me and stay upstairs, you may as well put yourselves to good use! Go lock up the back, make sure everything is battened down!”

They did as they were instructed and then waited in the dark dining room with her for what felt like forever.

“What’s going on?” Ash asked in a hushed voice.

“One of our lookouts spotted a group headed this way”, Donna answered as she quietly paced back and forth, keeping her eyes on the radio in the corner of the room, “We’re waiting for word to get to us if we can come out or if we need to hole up for a bit until they leave”.

Aelius cocked his head, “Did you do this when we made our way to the Church?”

“Yes”, she nodded, “Lucky for you, our spotter also noticed the Deathclaw follow your trail a few hours after you’d arrived. That’s when we decided we had to come out and help you”.

A familiar crackling noise came from the radio and they all held their breaths.

 _“12 men, armed, 3 miles out. Prepare for possible confrontation”_ , a gruff male voice resounded in the room. 

“This doesn’t sound good”, Ash whispered, feeling her body tense up.

“Stay here!” Donna instructed looking at them severely, “Do not leave this building. Do you understand?”

Refusing to leave until Ash and Aelius both nodded and deferred to her better experience, she went to one of her supply closets and pulled out a shot gun from a hidden back panel.

“You’ll be safe here. Lock the door as soon as I’m out”, she instructed.

“But, wait! What are supposed to do? Are you coming back?”

“Yes, I won’t be long”, she nodded, “I’ll go up to see Lucas and come back with more information. I’ll knock three times to let you know it’s me”, and with that she quickly left, almost slamming the door behind her and leaving them alone in the room.

Ash went up to check on Gael in their bedroom while Aelius paced downstairs, waiting to hear back from anyone. About half an hour later when it was almost completely dark outside, Donna came back and filled them in on what was happening outside. Lucas, the man who served as the town’s lookout, spotted a dozen figures on the horizon, from the looks of it they were all men and all dressed in crimson.

“Were they wearing any head gear?” Aelius felt his heart beating in his throat, hoping that it wasn’t Legionaries.

“He said it looked like some of them were wearing sports gear, baseball helmets with goggles”.

“Shit” he swore under his breath and felt the blood drain from his face, “They found us”.

“Who are _they_?” Donna asked, now growing more concerned.

“The Legion. They must have sent their Frumentarii to find out what happened, and somehow they found our tracks, followed them here”, panic was beginning to take over any rational thoughts, “We need to go. We need to go now!”

“Oh no! You’re not going anywhere!” Donna dragged him to a couch nearby and sat him down, “If they’ve been able to track you down this far, they’re going to catch up to you in no time if you leave now”.

Aelius protested but Donna held up her hand to stop him from saying another word and called Ash and Gael downstairs to make a plan.

“Listen to me, all of you. Leaving now would be suicide. Your best bet is to stay here and let us handle this”, she insisted.

“I can’t do that”, Aelius shook his head, “You don’t know what the Legion is like. They won’t stop until they find us”.

“No, I don’t know about the Legion, but I know there’s only a dozen men out there. We outnumber them three to one, and if they are after you then your best bet is to stay here with us”.

“I couldn’t put you all in danger!” Aelius protested.

“Pah! We’ve faced worse things in the past. These thugs won’t be any different”, Donna gave him a confident smile, “Now, sit tight and follow my lead. We’re all going to get through this, I promise”.

 

* * *

 

Darkness was quickly upon them by the time Aurelius and his men made it to what looked like an old abandoned town. The tracker had led them to the edge of the small town following the scuff marks in the dirt from the traitor and the profligate, but his man had picked up additional tracks of what appeared to be a massive Deathclaw leading towards a dilapidated church. They made sure to move silently knowing Deathclaws have poor vision but a great sense of hearing and smell. This was no time to fall into a false sense of security.

“There are fresh marks here”, the tracker commented, his head bent low as he tried to discern the markings, “A lot of foot traffic”.

“From what? The traitor and profligate or more Deathclaws?” another man asked worriedly.

“Definitely human”, he stood up surveying the area, “Could be traders passed through here recently. Whatever the case, this place is populated”.

“Ready your weapons”, Aurelius instructed and they made their way down the road, checking every door but quickly noticing that they were all locked; and he couldn’t shake the feeling that their every movement was being watched. When they found they couldn’t gain entry into any of the buildings, Aurelius knew that he had to take a more direct approach.

“We know you are hiding”, he spoke with a raised voice so that it could be heard loud and clear, “Please, we mean you no trouble. We are looking for one of our men, we thought he was lost to us. But we tracked his footprints to this town”. He paused to hear if his words had any effect, but when no reply came he continued, “He came through here with a woman and child. Please, we only wish for their safe return”.

“They’re not here” a gruff voice from the shadows, startling the Legionary soldiers to attention.

“Who are you?” Aurelius asked, taking a commanding stance.

“A long term resident of this forgotten town”, the voice answered from the shadows, “We don’t want any trouble”.

“Then we share that in common”, Aurelius added, feeling for an opening in the conversation that would let him get what he wanted, “Please, we are simply looking for one of our own. His scouting party was attacked and we believe he fled with a woman and child to this location”.

“They’re dead”, the voice answered flatly.

Aurelius scoffed, refusing to believe a word the man said, “You must be mistaken”.

“I’m not. I wish I were”, the man came out of the dark shadow, though there wasn’t much of him to see as his entire body was wrapped in rags, “They sought shelter in the Church you passed by. As you can see, it tore right through it”.

“You, expect _me_ to believe, that after all the effort they’ve taken to survive… They were killed by a Deathclaw?” he couldn’t quell the acerbity of his tone.

“You can believe whatever you want. I’m telling you they’re dead. I saw it with my own eyes”, the man explained, going into detail about the struggle, how the man had attempted to save the woman and child, only to be the one who died first at the hands of the creature, and then how it came for the woman and child before having its fill and leaving. With every question Aurelius asked, the man had an answer to; there was no stutter in his voice, no shifting of the eyes, it appeared he spoke the truth.

“If it’s all the same to you, I would like to have a look in the church, see for myself”, Aurelius said.

“Fine. But if you run into any trouble, you’re on your own”, the man shrugged and left them to it.

Inside the church, Aurelius’ men scoured the area. There was no doubt that a Deathclaw had made its way through it, they could see its claw marks everywhere. A large spattering of blood on the floor and wall at the back caught his attention and he moved closer for inspection.

“Could be from the woman and child”, the tracker added standing next to him, “Must have happened less than a week ago”.

There was no way to test and see whose blood it was, but the stranger they encountered in the town claimed he saw everything with his own eyes. If he was right, then all of this was for nothing and he’d have to go make his way back to Caesar empty handed; and Caesar doesn’t like squandered time and effort. He’d be a joke to them, labelled a failure with no prospect of future advancement in the ranks. In fact, he wouldn’t be surprised if Caesar himself demoted him back to a scout.

 _‘Shit’_ , he thought, wiping the sweat that was condensing on his forehead and paced back and forth, examining the damage inside.

“Well, seems like that bastard of a beast did the work for us”, one of his men commented out loud, “Guess we’ll be heading back in the morning then”.

“Guess again”, Aurelius grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and pushed him down until he was cowering on his knees, “We go when I say we go”.

“But the old man… he said-”

“I don’t care _what_ _he_ said. He could claim to have seen Atom himself and I would still not trust a word of that profligate”, he pushed him back, making the man fall on his side and watch him with a spiteful gaze, “He’s hiding something, I could hear it in his voice. And when I find out what it is, I’m going to rip his tongue out and burn his little town to the ground”.

“So… What do we do?” the tracker asked.

“ _You_ will go ahead and see if there are any tracks matching out traitor’s leading north, but I have a feeling they’re still here, hiding in one of these buildings. So, we’ll wait them out. They can’t stay here forever”.

With Aurelius’ orders given, the men begrudgingly set to work doing his bidding and quietly setting themselves up in ideal positions to have a good view of the area and foot traffic. Now all they had to do was wait for their prey to come out, and if needed...smoke them out.

 

* * *

 

Sweet melodic music from the Ink Spots played on the radio in the background as Joshua held Mary in his arms, swaying side to side with her and feeling her cheek rest on his shoulder. She sighed so sweetly in his arms and just like the song said on the radio, way down inside of him he had only one desire, and that one desire was her; he knew nobody else was gonna do.

Caressing her jawline delicately, he drew her attention up to him and leaned in, his lips meeting hers in a tender kiss.

“I wish this moment could last forever”, she sighed, a wide smile on her face. He grinned back at her and pulled her body closer to his.

“Hmm…It has been an _almost_ perfect day”, he kissed the top of her head.

“Almost?” her voice sounded a little disappointed, “What could have gone better?”

“The baked cassava I made us for dinner. It was…dry”.

Mary burst into laughter and Joshua couldn’t help but join in.

“It’s a hard root to master, but you’ll get the hang of it. Eventually”, she gave him a cheeky wink which sent a warm flush throughout his body.

“So, what would you like to do tomorrow?” he asked her.

“Did you have something in mind?”

Joshua shrugged, looking down at her lovingly, “I was thinking, maybe we could go to that spot you took us last week by the stream overlooking the mountains. We could take a picnic with us”.

“The spot overlooking the Wasatch Mountains?”

“Mhm”, he grinned, “I know that’s one of your favourite views”.

“It was”.

“Oh?” he raised an eyebrow in confusion, “I must be mistaken then”.

“No, it still is a breath-taking view, but since I met you you’ve become my favourite view”.

 _‘Smooth move’_ he thought as he felt his face blush.

“You know, I don’t feel like I say this enough, but you are an incredible woman Mary”, he chuckled, “I don’t know what I’ve ever done in this life to deserve you”.

As the sun began to set on the horizon, casting an otherworldly light over the valley, Mary and Joshua decided to go into town. By their calendar it was the 24th of December; Christmas Eve. The whole town would be gathering together to celebrate the coming of Christmas, share family stories, and play games. They even had a games schedule for the children all planned out. With Joshua bandaged up and Mary in her best dress, they both made their way down the road and into town centre. Even at this distance they could see the lights of the festivities and hear echoes of happy chattering and laughter.

“So, this is our first Christmas Eve party together”, she said as they entered the town, “I’m excited. Are you excited?”

“The most excited I’ve ever been”, he pulled her close to him.

“You know, Dawn’s going to be there”.

“I know”, he answered after a pause, not looking forward to the prospect of having a possibly uncomfortable conversation with his aunt, “I suppose we better make our presence known to her before she corners us somewhere”.

Mary chuckled and agreed, knowing full well how Dawn could pop up when she was least expected. They found her sitting on a bench chatting away with another older gentleman, but when she saw them she cut her conversation short and went over to greet them with a beaming grin on her face.

“Welcome you two! It’s so good to see you”, she gave them both a hearty hug and looked them up and down, “I knew you two were going to become a happy pair”.

“Dawn! We’ve talked about this”, Joshua reminded her of the trouble she caused herself the last time she meddled.

“Pish posh! If I hadn’t meddled, you two would probably still be pining over one another from a distance”, she answered snappily, “And if given the chance to do it again, I wouldn’t change a thing”.

“Well, you are consistent, I’ll give you that”, Joshua quipped.

“I just want you two to be happy”, she said looking at them proudly, “This life can be hard and cruel, more often than not. So when love and happiness is offered to you, you must grab it and never let it go”, she held their hands tightly in hers, her eyes welling up with sentiment.

“We are Dawn”, Mary smiled at her, “Even though your way of getting us to this point was a tad…unorthodox… I am glad things turned out the way they did”.

“Excellent! That is all I wanted for you two”, she beamed up at them, “Now, I’ll leave you to enjoy the festivities. Take a stroll around! We’ve spared no expense at making this year’s celebration one of the best. Food and drinks are at the buffet table, so help yourselves!”

They both moved to leave when a daring thought crept in Joshua’s mind, “Mary, will you excuse me for a moment? I must go speak with Dawn. In private”.

“Sure, is everything alright?” she asked.

“Everything is perfect”, he stroked her cheek, “Help yourself to some food, I’ll join you in a moment”.

With a nod, Mary left him to go and catch Dawn before she was absorbed back into the crowd. Joshua knew what he had to do, he just prayed that he had the courage to speak the words when the time presented itself to him.

 

* * *

 

“We can’t stay here forever”, Ash whispered as she peered through he slats in the wooden blinds, watching the Legionary soldier poking around in the street below them. They were supposed to be well on their way out of the town by now and heading towards New Canaan, but the sudden arrival of Aelius’ former tribe put a stop to their plans.

“I’ll speak with Donna, see if she has any more information to give us”, Aelius nodded. Moving quickly and silently downstairs, he found their host perched on the edge of a wooden chair next to the entrance door, her shotgun in her lap.

“Thought I told you three to stay in the room”, she murmured in displeasure, “This is an old building, it creaks with every movement and the walls are thin as cardboard”.

“We’re keeping quiet”, he whispered, moving next to her, “How’s it look out there? Any news from Tom?”

“They’re a persistent bunch”, she shook her head, “Not sure they’re going to leave until they’re satisfied, or until they decide to break inside and search every room”.

The mere thought of that happening sent a chill down his spine, “Is there any way we could leave this town without getting spotted?”

“Hmm… There might be a way”, she mused, “But it would be dangerous, and I’m not even sure if Tom would approve”.

“The faster we get out of here, the less you have to worry about those men outside”.

“Leave it with me”, she nodded, “I’ll speak with Tom, see if we can sort something out”.

“Alright. Thank you Donna… I’m sorry I’ve put this on you all”.

“Don’t trouble yourself with those kinds of thoughts. This isn’t your fault. We’ve dealt with this ilk in the past, and undoubtedly we’ll have to deal with more in the future, so don’t fret over it. Go on and get some rest, I’ll be along to let you know what’s happening before nightfall”.

True to her word, Donna collected them just as night had begun to darken the streets outside.

“Alright, I’ve spoken with Tom and he reckons that these men won’t leave until they’ve searched every nook and cranny in the town”, she started, taking out some clean bed sheets from some cabinets downstairs, “So we’ll need to smuggle you out of here”.

“What are you doing?” Ash asked curiously, watching Donna begin tearing up strips of material, but Aelius immediately realised what was going on.

“It’s a disguise”, he answered, taking several strips and started wrapping them around his legs, arms, and face.

“Exactly”, Donna nodded, helping Ash fix her disguise around her head and wrapping Gael up as well, “Should be less easy to spot this way”.

“How do you know this’ll work?” Ash asked, “For all we know they may stop us and demand to see our faces”.

“They haven’t done that to any of us so far. Now, we’re going to have to find a way of smuggling Gael through. He will surely stick out like a sore thumb”, Donna busied herself in the supply closet, rummaging for something, “Aha! Found it”, she pulled out a large dark green over the shoulder duffle bag.

“You’re not serious?” Ash asked, looking at her as if she’d just suggested the most ridiculous thing ever.

“C’mon Ash”, Aelius placed a hand on her shoulder, “It’s the only way. Besides, he’s only going to have to stay in there for ten or fifteen minutes at most”.

But before Ash could protest, Gael happily walked up to Donna and sat inside the bag while she tucked material around him so that the silhouette of the bag wouldn’t be so obvious that they were carrying a small child inside.

“Can I sleep in here?” Gael asked the adults eagerly, making them grin in amusement.

“Not just yet young man, we’ll have to wait a little bit longer before you can set off”, Donna answered his question and pulled Ash and Aelius aside to explain the plan.

“We leave as soon as Tom gives us the go ahead. He’s informed our ‘guests’ that there will be three people, us, coming out of the building to go to the west side of town”.

“But I was told that that area isn’t safe”, Ash looked at her with concern.

“You were told that with good reason. It was mostly to keep you from wandering there”, Donna answered, “We…keep the rest of the town’s residents there. The ones who were badly affected by the radiation”.

“What do you mean?” Aelius asked, but he already had a sinking feeling of what she was referring to.

Donna sighed and her shoulders visibly slumped with the weight of what she was about to reveal to them, “The ones who turned aggressive and violent. We’ve been keeping them in a warehouse in the west part, away from everyone else in the hopes that our doctor can find a cure for them, and the rest of us”.

Ash felt the blood drain from her skin, her eyes wide with fear, “You mean to tell me…there have been ferals around here, this whole time?”

“Please, don’t call them that”, Donna winced, “They’re not well, but that doesn’t mean they’re… _feral_ ”.

“So you want us to go with you through the west side of town?” Aelius tried to push past the subject, but Ash was having none of it.

“You can’t help them! There is _no_ cure for this affliction Donna”, Ash insisted, but Aelius pulled her aside to have a private word before she said something that lost them the support and protection from this group.

“Ash, this isn’t the time. Donna and the others have been extremely kind and helpful to us, we should show them the same respect”.

“Damn it Aelius! What if one of those things had attacked us? What if-“

“No, Ash. They didn’t”, he gave her a stern look, “This isn’t the time, or the place, to argue about what ifs just as we are about to leave. Do you want to get out of here, or not?”

Begrudgingly, Ash relented and they returned to Donna, who finished explaining the details of their plans.

“There’s an underground tunnel in the warehouse that goes some 500 meters North West. You can follow it to the end, it should be clear”

“ _Should_?” Ash questioned, “We’re not going to run into any of your friends in there, are we?”

Donna shook her head emphatically, “No, the entrance to the tunnel is locked, you need a key to gain access to it; but you might run into some rad roaches, at worse mole rats”.

“So, all we have to do is go in, try not to disturb your…sickly neighbours… and get through the tunnels”, Aelius exhaled, trying to keep a clear head, “Sounds simple enough”.

“Precisely”, Donna smiled, “It’ll be easy as pie”.

“But what about you?” Ash asked, “Wouldn’t the soldiers notice three people going in and only one coming out?”

“I’ll make sure to leave when no one’s looking. Don’t worry about me, the important thing is to get you all to safety”.

They waited until the area was clear and darkness had enveloped the town before they set off. With Donna in the lead and Gael snug in the bag over Aelius’ shoulder, they held each other’s hands so they didn’t get separated as they walked to the warehouse.

“Hey, you three!” they heard a voice as they rounded up a corner and Aelius had to stop himself from instinctively going for his weapon, “Stop”.

“This is our town mister. We go where we please”, Donna replied in her raspy voice.

“Shut up woman”, the man snarled at her, “I won’t have you speak to me that way”.

“You’d better let us go”, Aelius answered in his best impersonation of a raspy ghoulish voice, “We have to go…tend to our neighbours”.

“Hmph, what do you mean, ‘tend to our neighbours’?”

Aelius and Donna looked at each other knowingly before he started to explain, “We have…friends…relatives in the west side… people who were adversely affected by the radiation. They need food every night, so we take it to them”.

The Legionary shifted on his feet, his features giving away his uncertainty, “I don’t understand”.

“You folks down south call them ferals”, Donna answered, and Aelius could hear the strain in her voice as she said the word, “We keep them safe, and away, from prying eyes. But we need to go feed them every night, or they find a way out and wander into town”.

They could see the horror on the man’s face even in the dim light of the half moon.

 “Alright, go!”

“Thank you kindly”, Donna answered, a slight acerbity in her tone.

Quickly and quietly they made their way into the warehouse and Donna led them around the sleeping ferals who were scattered haphazardly around the area, oblivious to their presence.

“Here”, she unlocked the door to the tunnels for them and gave them both a tight hug, “Stay safe out there. And follow the route we laid out on the map for you. It’s one of the safest”.

“We will”, Ash nodded, “I’m sorry Donna, for my comments earlier”.

“Oh my dear, don’t worry. All is forgiven”, she smiled at her.

“I wish there was something I could do to help your people get rid of the Legionaries”, Aelius felt the guilt weighing him down, “This wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t lead us here”.

“Hush!” Donna raised a hand to stop him from saying another word, “We’ve been through this, and like I said, we will deal with these ruffians in good time. Once they realise you’re no where to be found, they will give up, especially with no fresh tracks to use to follow you. Now go! Keep each safe. May you reach your home in good time and fortune”.

With a final goodbye, Ash and Aelius set off into the tunnel, hand in hand and keeping a steady fast paced walk. In three days they would reach New Canaan; and only then would Aelius be able to breathe a sigh of relief.

 

* * *

 

Mary watched as the children played musical chairs, giggling along with them when the music stopped, and they all rushed to find a seat. Everyone was having a wonderful time it seemed.

“May I offer you a drink?” Joshua’s familiar voice spoke next to her, almost taking her by surprise.

“Sure!” she smiled, taking the extra glass from his hand, “What is it?”

Joshua sniffed the liquid quizzically, “I’m not entirely sure”. It was a very pale carbonated drink, had a familiar sweet and somewhat floral aroma to it but he couldn’t place his finger on it.

Mary tasted it and her eyebrows raised in delight, “Oh! This is amazing!”

“What is it?”

“Whoever made this is a genius and I want their recipe!”

“Mary, what is it?” Joshua chuckled in amusement.

“Carbonated banana yucca juice”, she said, smacking her lips.

Without hesitation he gave in and tried the drink, feeling a pleasant tingling on his tongue from the carbonation and the delicious taste of sweet banana yucca. In fact, he couldn’t help but to down the entire glass in a few gulps.

“You’re right, we need this recipe”, he exhaled, feeling bubbles rise up inside him until they made him belch quite loudly, leaving Mary in stitches and a few passers-by look on in amusement. 

“Oh my word! Please excuse me”, he lightly tapped his chest with his palm to quell the bubbles he felt building up again, “You think anyone heard that?”

Mary shook her head but couldn’t help giggling, wiping tears of laughter from the corners of her eyes, “I must admit, that was impressive”.

Joshua grinned like a fool, feeling like a teenager who had impressed his crush, “Would you like to go somewhere a little more…private?”

“Joshua Graham, what kind of lady do you take me for?” Mary blushed, finishing her drink.

“I promise to be a gentleman”, he smiled at her, offering her his arm.

“You always are”, she gave him a kiss on the cheek and took his arm, following him away from away from the crowd to a large evergreen tree in the courtyard. They stood next to the base of its impressively wide trunk, and Mary couldn’t help but wonder how old this tree was every time she saw it.

“I’ve always liked this tree”, she looked up at the reaching branches, savouring its fresh and earthy scent.

“Me too. I used to come here all the time to read or contemplate when I was a young man”, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes, the memories of his youth still fresh in his mind. What would he have done if he could have met Mary when he was younger…what kind of man would he have turned out to be?

“May I speak candidly with you Mary?”

“Of course”, she looked up at him, “Always”.

“There’s been something on my mind of late that I haven’t been able to shake”, he began, trying to string his thoughts and emotions into words.

“This sounds serious”, she moved closer to him, her eyes searching his for clues to what was bothering him.

“It is, but not in a serious way”, he said, almost wincing at how ridiculous his reply came out.

“Whatever it is, you can talk to me about it”, she slipped her hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze, “You can talk to me about anything. I won’t judge”.

His heart was beating so fast in his chest that he thought it might burst open and his bandages suddenly felt like they were squeezing him, “You are an incredible woman Mary; in all my years on this Earth I’ve never met someone who possesses such wisdom and intelligence, combined with kindness, love and understanding as much as you do. I hope you know you mean the world to me”.

“Alright Joshua, you’re worrying me now”, she bit her lower lip, “Tell me what’s bothering you”.

‘Stop stalling and say it!’ he thought to himself as he fumbled for the small stained maple wood box in his back pocket.

“I just wanted you to know how I feel about you; how deeply in love with you I am. Mary…”, he laughed nervously, “Something Dawn said tonight resonated with me, and if it wasn’t for your help and understanding through my trials for the past seven months I have had a hard time accepting it”.

“Oh?” she looked at him curiously.

“When we met I was a broken man barely holding on to life. Even though you knew of my sins and transgressions, you didn’t care about the man I used to be; you saw the potential for the man I could become. You healed my wounds, showed me that my life still has meaning, helped me get through my own self-doubt, regrets and shame. Dawn is right. If you find happiness and love offered to you, you must take hold and never let it go. The only thing I regret is not accepting this sooner. So, what I’m trying to say…” he shifted on his feet, his eager gaze focused on her as he took hold of the small box in his right hand and knelt on one knee in front of her. Her expression changed from worry to disbelief at Joshua’s actions, and before his knee connected with the ground she was sporting the widest smile he’d ever seen.

“Yes!” she blurted, then cupped her mouth in surprise.

“I haven’t asked you anything yet” Joshua laughed, already feeling the weight of the pressure evaporate out of his body.

“I’m sorry”, she said, now laughing along with him, “Go ahead”.

He lifted the box up to her and opened it to reveal a brilliant white gold solitaire ring with a deep blue sapphire gemstone sparkling at her, “If you’ll have me, I want to spend the rest of my life making you feel as happy and loved as you have made me feel. Mary… Will you marry me?”

She beamed down at him and leaned in, giving him a sensual kiss before pulling back slightly to whisper “Yes” in his ear.


	12. Render Unto Caesar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vulpes Inculta is charged with carrying out the investigation into the low pregnancy and birth rates in the Legion camp. 
> 
> Joshua Graham comes face to face with his demons when the White Legs attack New Canaan.

Vulpes Inculta stood on the edge of the rocky precipice overlooking Caesar’s camp. The lull of the daily toil filled the air; men sharpening their weapons, practicing sparring in the pit, the crackling of campfires, the occasional sound of a woman’s yelp of pain all added to the atmosphere. But he wasn’t here to enjoy the scenery of what his master had created, he was tasked with an investigation; one which eluded three of his predecessors. Caesar was growing concerned with the low number of pregnancies around the camp, but he let Vulpes know that a great reward would be given to him if he could get to the bottom of the matter. They needed new blood to replace fallen members, and there simply weren’t enough tribes this far west for the Legion to conquer; at least, none that were worthy.

He was three months into his investigation and already was responsible for making several changes around camp, from increasing food distribution to the women as upping their caloric intake would improve their fertility, to ensuring all women of adequate breeding potential were not subjected to severe beatings that could potentially cause miscarriages. Any man who disobeyed this rule was to be severely disciplined and his rights and privileges over women revoked for at least a month. It seemed to be working, and Vulpes did prefer not having to hear the random screams of women throughout the day and night. So far his improvements have caused a very slight increase in pregnancy rates, but it was too early to tell, and his instinct was telling him that there was something he was missing.

A woman walking back from the river with a basket full of dripping clothing caught his attention from the corner of his eye. His gaze snapped to her, watching her as she walked below him, her head down and her posture submissive as other soldiers walking past leered at her, long dark brown hair wrapped under a muddy coloured headwrap. Recognising her as the woman Aurelius had claimed for his own, he felt an urge to continue observing her. As nimbly as a cat, he made his way down the ridge and followed her, making sure she didn’t spot him. Even from a distance he could tell why a man such as Aurelius would lay claim to a woman like her; she was beyond beautiful. Her movements, though submissive and straining against the weight of the wet clothes she was carrying, were graceful. She was taller than most women in the camp, standing at about 5’9”, with long slender legs, elegant neck, almond shaped eyes the colour of a bright blue sky and plump mauve lips.

Walking through the active and noisy camp, she made her way to the women’s section completely unaware that she was being followed. Setting her basket down she set about lining the clothes out to dry on a long line. Then something caught his eye as she got to the bottom of the laundry; she seemed to pick a small bundle wrapped in white cloth and, very skilfully, place it up her long sleeve before making her way back into the tent. Vulpes kept a respectable distance so he wasn’t so obvious and checking that no one was around to see him he pulled back the tent flap to see what the woman was doing. He saw her rummaging in a bag of her personal belongings before removing the small bundle hidden in her sleeve and shoved it hastily under her mattress.

 _‘What have we here?’_ Vulpes’ thin lips crept into a grin. When she got back up and moved to leave, he hid out of sight around the corner of the tent waiting for her to leave before sneaking inside and taking the bundle for further inspection. With the item now in his possession, he went back to his tent to examine its contents. Unwrapping the cloth revealed several herbs bundled together with thin strands of string. Broc flower, xander root, thistle, another plant he didn’t recognise and a pouch filled with small seeds. Overall it didn’t look suspicious; these were all plants that were natural in their environment and had medicinal properties as they improved healing, had antiseptic and pain suppression properties. He was about to give up when he vaguely remembered a piece of information from an old world botany book he’d found in an abandoned library. Rummaging in his footlocker for it, he turned to the information listed for all the possible properties but didn’t find anything. Heaving a frustrated sigh and now wondering if he’d made a mistake, he switched focus and tried going over the illustrations in the book to try to determine what the seeds and the other plant was, and after a painstaking hour he managed to identify them. The plant was something called stoneseed root which also seemed to have medicinal properties, but he found an asterisk for the seeds which were called Queen Anne’s lace, leading him to the appendix section of information. And that’s where he found what he was looking for:

 _“Queen Anne’s lace, also known as wild carrot seed, was used as a natural birth control and traces its roots all the way back to India. These seeds contain compounds that have been shown in medical research to prevent fertilized eggs from implanting in the uterus; however, ingestion is inadvisable as certain compounds in the matter can be toxic and high doses from overconsumption can lead to death”_.

Vulpes had finally done what his predecessors couldn’t: he’d solved the mystery of low pregnancy rates which had been plaguing the Legion for years, but his work was not done yet. Now he had to decide what to do with this information and how to present it to Caesar, as well as what to do with the woman.

The woman…

He wondered what she would do if confronted with his findings. Would she deny it? Own it and accept punishment? Was it only her or were there others who were helping her distribute the herbs around the camp? If he handed this information straight to Caesar, he would call for her immediate punishment, and for a transgression such as this she would probably be nailed to a cross and left to die. All his hard work would be for nothing if she had other collaborators who would certainly be a lot more difficult to find once the word got out that one of them was caught. No, a direct approach would cause more problems in the long run; he would need to approach this from a tactful point of view.

Folding the bundle neatly with all the herbs and seeds and securing it in the pouch on his belt, he left his tent with purpose, making his way back out into the camp to keep an eye out for the woman. When the right opportunity presented itself, he would approach and confront her; all he had to do was wait.

 

* * *

 

Olivia bit her lower lip as her arm searched under her mattress, trying to find the pouch that she’d left only a couple of hours ago. It wasn’t there.

‘Someone must have taken it’ she thought as her mind replayed the events from her day’s activities. She made her way out to see Elizabeth in the food hall tent and approached her as the tent was completely empty.

“Have you seen my pouch?” she whispered, “I can’t find it anywhere”.

“It’s not where you left it?” Elizabeth’s eyebrows raised slightly at hearing the news.

Olivia shook her head and looked around, “Do you think one of the others may have taken it?”

“Unlikely, but I will ask around for you”, Elizabeth replied, grabbing a bowl and pouring her some of the evening’s stew.

Shaking her head, Olivia was beginning to feel apprehensive. It wasn’t typical for her things to go missing; she trusted the other women implicitly and didn’t have any reason to believe they would take any of her belongings. But if it wasn’t any of the women, then who?...

“Here”, Elizabeth nudged the bowl at her, “You need to eat”.

“I can’t eat now”.

“Yes you can. There’s no point in worrying about the pouch now, we will find it”.

A terrifying thought crossed Olivia’s mind, sending a cold chill through her body, “What if it wasn’t any of the women who took it?”

“The men don’t venture out into the women’s area often, and when they do they have never gone inside the tents”.

“How can you be sure?” Olivia’s eyes were now wide with fear, “If one of them took it-“

“Olivia, calm down”, Elizabeth placed a hand on her arm, “It’ll be alright. I promise you, we’ll find it. If you need something to carry you over, you can make do with some thistle. As long as you keep drinking the tea every day you won’t have to worry”.

Taking a deep breath to calm her frayed nerves, Olivia nodded and accepted the food she was given, eating it hastily and deciding she would go by the river to see if she had somehow dropped it on her way back from doing the laundry, despite feeling certain she had it on her person.

 _‘Maybe you’re wrong, maybe you thought you put it there but you forgot’_ , she desperately tried to remember. Finishing her meal so quickly it left her feeling nauseous, she retraced her steps back to the river and, attempting to look inconspicuous, began her search.

“Looking for something?”

Olivia jumped back in shock at the frightful sight of the soldier standing behind her, dressed in full armour, dark goggles that hid his eyes from her and a Vexillarius helmet. His voice wasn’t as gruff as the other soldiers she had come across, instead it was smooth like silk, though there was no mistake that there was a dangerous tone to his words.

“N-no”, she stuttered, rooting herself to the ground.

An ominous grin spread on his lips and he moved forward to stand in front of her, examining her from head to toe behind his dark goggles. This was the moment he’d been waiting for; they were far enough away from the camp that no one could overhear their conversation and it was as if the solution was staring right in front of him.

“Yes you are”, he reached in his pouch and held up her pouch, still filled with the herbs, “You’re looking for this”.

Her eyes darted fearfully to the pouch and he knew he had her. He wasn’t as tall or physically robust as most of the other soldiers in the camp, standing at about six feet in height and sporting a lean though muscular frame. Even so, she knew that if he wanted to he could kill her with one swift move.

“No, that’s not mine”.

“Stop lying”, the smile faded from his features, “I watched you as you stuffed it under your mattress in the women’s tent”. He could see her body start to quiver.

“It’s just medicine herbs, for healing and pain”, she said in almost a whisper.

“Oh, it’s more than that. I know that you have at least one herb in here that is used as a contraceptive”.

Olivia desperately tried to force her muscles to stop quivering, but it was almost impossible with the amount of adrenaline that was coursing through her body. All she wanted to do was turn and run; run into the roaring river behind her and let it carry her far away from here.

“Don’t worry, I won’t have you lashed to a cross…not that you don’t deserve it”, he took off his goggles and pulled back his dog skin head covering, revealing light blue almost grey eyes and short but thick dark brown hair. His features were harsh but not unpleasant, with strong cheekbones, arched brows, symmetrical nose and angular jaw. “Do you know who I am?”

When Olivia shook her head he smirked at her, “I am Vulpes Inculta”.

At the mention of his name, Olivia knew that she was done for. Even for a the lowliest of slaves, the name Vulpes Inculta stirred fear and obedience.

“Please…they’re just medicines”.

He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to him, “You are going to tell me where you’ve been collecting these medicines and who else is working with you to distribute them to the other women, or I will find unpleasant ways of extracting it out of you”.

“Go ahead”, Olivia whispered defiantly, her firm gaze fixed upon his, “I don’t care what you do to me”.

“Then maybe you’ll care what I do to your friends?” he threatened, “I’m sure one of them will talk, and now that you know who I am, you know that I have the authority to round up every single one of you women and have you all disciplined”.

“You wouldn’t do that, you need us”, she spat, “Who else will you use as your menial workers or to bear your children”.

Vulpes chuckled in amusement, “My dear, you overestimate the value your kind have in this camp. We could easily replace the lot of you, if we wanted to”.

There was no where to go, no corner to brace herself in for protection; she was out in the open with no place to hide and with limited options.

“What do you want?”

“It’s very simple”, he eased up on his grip on her arm, stroking the delicate line of her jaw, “I want you to give me the names of your accomplices. Everyone that has been involved in this little practice of yours”.

 _‘He doesn’t know, he thinks I’m the main distributor’_ , she thought, an idea brewing in her mind. She couldn’t save herself, but she could save the others.

“It’s just me”, she said.

His amused expression immediately changed to anger and he grabbed hold of her throat in one hand, feeling his fingernails digging deep into the back of her neck.

“Don’t…lie to me”, he threatened in a low voice.

“I’m not”, she gasped, starting to see stars in the corners of her vision.

“We’ll see about that”, he sneered, grabbing hold of her wrist and attempting to drag her back to the camp when another woman came running up to him. To Olivia’s horror, it was Elizabeth. She must have followed her and seen what happened.

“What are you doing?” she demanded, but Vulpes pushed her aside.

“Know your place woman!”

“Please, I beg of you, let her go”.

“Unless you want to be disciplined, you will hold your tongue”.

“It was me!” she held up her hands in front of her in an attempt to shield herself, “Please, let her go, she had nothing to do with it”.

“Elizabeth, no!” Olivia yelled but was immediately silenced with a swift and painful backhanded slap from Vulpes.

“I said silence!”, he threw Olivia to the rough ground in front of him, watching her writhe in pain.

“It wasn’t her, it was me”, Elizabeth’s pleading gaze was focused on Vulpes, “I gave her those herbs”.

He sneered down at her, “I find that hard to believe”.

“I’ll prove it to you”, Elizabeth slowly stood back up on shaky legs, “I’ll show you where I planted the herbs. I’ll hand over all my stock, just…please…Olivia had nothing to do with this. None of the other women did. It was me”.

He allowed her to guide him to the area some distance downriver, dragging Olivia along with him in case she got any ideas about running. Sure enough he found the crop, hidden behind a rocky outcropping. To the standard Legionary soldier, these herbs were unremarkable. Almost all of them were native to the region and grew like weeds everywhere they went with the suspect plants craftily hidden among the shrubbery. No wonder no one spotted them before.

“Is this all of it?” he demanded, moving closer to Elizabeth.

“Yes”, she nodded.

“If you lie to me, I will know”, he fixed his cold gaze upon her but could see from her demeanour and appearance that she was being truthful.

“This is everything, I swear. Just…please…let her go”, she begged.

Eyeing both women in front of him, he considered his next move carefully.

“What you have done here demands retribution”.

“I will face any punishment you wish”, Elizabeth looked up into his cold eyes, “But spare the others. I was the one who cultivated and distributed the plants. This was my doing. If anyone should be punished, it should be me”.

“Yes…you will”, he sneered, “Make no mistake, you will face the full wrath of Caesar himself. But the other women were complicit in this transgression of yours and will also face discipline; though it won’t be nearly as…unpleasant…as yours”.

He picked both women up by the arm and hauled them to the camp, making his way up the hill to Caesar’s tent, pleased with the knowledge that a hefty reward would be waiting for him.

 

* * *

 

Following the news of Joshua’s proposal to Mary, the whole town buzzed with happy chatter, echoing their congratulations and well wishes to the newly engaged couple. Dawn’s reaction was the dearest, for almost the whole evening she cried tears of joy and couldn’t stop singing their praises, so much so it made Joshua feel guilty for the way he rebuked her advice and attempts to get him and Mary together.

By the time the revelries had finished it was gone midnight and too late for him and Mary to walk back to the cabin, but Dawn had prepared for that possibility.

Joshua led Mary through Dawn’s house and into his old bedroom. Although he hadn’t been in that room since he left New Canaan to spread the word of God and act as translator, everything inside was just as he remembered it.

“So this is your old room”, Mary looked around the space, running her fingers over some old books in his book case.

“Yes. I had some fond memories in here”, Joshua exhaled, taking off his boots and loosening the wraps around his body.

“Here, let me”, Mary came up to him and took over, gently unwrapping the bandages that covered his burns. His skin was no longer raw but he still had some pain, especially when he forgot to apply the soothing ointments that she made for him. “Are you feeling any pain?”

“No, I’m alright”, he tried to hide his wince when he answered but Mary could tell it was beginning to bother him.

“Be honest”.

He sighed then relented to her question, “Maybe a little”.

Taking out a small jar from her purse with the pain soothing cream, she sat next to him as he lay on the bed and allowed her to treat him.

“Is this how it’s going to be, all the time?” he thought aloud, staring at the ceiling.

“It will get better with time”, she smiled down at him, watching his irked expression soften as the salve began to take effect and his body relaxed.

“As long as I have you with me, I could walk through fire again”, he sighed, resting a hand on her knee while she massaged him. She focused her efforts on the most painful areas, his head, neck, chest and arms, and after about fifteen minutes he was fast asleep. She sat for a moment and watched him lovingly, his features highlighted by the moonlight pouring into the room. Rubbing the residue over her arms, she wiggled in next to Joshua on the bed without disturbing him, resting her head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat as she drifted off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Some hours later, Joshua’s body jerked awake and he felt his heart pounding in his chest. He looked around him in a daze, confused by his surroundings. It took him a moment to realise he was in his old room and when he looked down he saw Mary sleeping soundly by his side. He thought he’d heard a scream outside, but after listening intently for several minutes he realised that it must have been a dream.

He relaxed again on the bed with a sigh and wrapped his arms around his beloved, kissing her forehead tenderly. As he felt himself about to fall asleep again, he heard an ominous sound of a man crying out in pain not far away. This wasn’t a dream!

Bolting out of bed and waking Mary with a start, he picked up his gun and peered out the window to get a look outside.

“Joshua?” Mary called in the dark, “What’s going-“

“Shhh”, he moved to kneel next to her, taking hold of her hand, “Follow me, stay quiet”, he whispered.

Trusting his instincts, she followed him out of the bedroom and into the living room where they peered out the window behind curtains to look into the street. It was still dark out with just a hint of dawn breaking over the horizon. The sound of glass shattering in the distance made them both jump.

“Joshua?” Mary looked to him, searching his features for comfort.

“I think someone’s in trouble”, he answered under his breath, his voice calm and collected, “Mary, I need you to go wake Dawn and lock yourselves in one of the rooms. Just in case”.

“Don’t tell me you’re going out there!”

“I have to Mary, people might need our help”, he stroked the side of her face, but before he could say another word to comfort her he heard one of their neighbours shriek nearby.

“Go! Now!” he said. Mary nodded and he saw her run into Dawn’s room just before he left through the front door, his pistol in hand and ready. The first thing he noticed was the smell of smoke in the air. Something definitely felt wrong, and as the commotion increased other neighbours nearby made their way out of their houses to inspect the noise. The majority of them had the same idea as Joshua and were armed and ready.

“Stay in your homes, protect your families”, he said as he passed them by. Even so, two other men, Daniel and Charles, joined him to help search through the streets. Soon as they turned the corner of the street facing the south side, their jaws dropped in horror. Three of the houses were broken into, one of them was catching on fire and a body of a woman hacked to death lay sprawled a few paces in front of them, her wounds still weeping.

“Behind me”, Joshua instructed and the men fell into line, their rifles at the ready. As they neared they could hear fighting, glass breaking, grunting and yelps of pain, then the deafening sound of a shotgun to their right before the air erupted in high pitched whooping and screaming as their enemies emerged from the darkness.

“White legs!”, Joshua said, taking aim and downing three foes in front of them, “Shoot to kill!”

Daniel and Charles fanned out and started picking them off one by one. There were so many of them…

The fighting was brutal with each side taking heavy casualties. The White Legs were armed with more than their standard spears, bows and arrows and knives; they had machine guns and were quickly dispatching the New Canaanites. Someone must have given them the weapons… But who?

Running into the thick of the fight, Joshua quickly took down the enemy in front of him, snapping his neck with a swift twist and gunning down half a dozen more.  He saw Daniel and Charles pinned behind an overturned wagon, taking cover from enemy fire. What happened next Joshua couldn’t recall; rage overtook him and all he remembered was seeing red. It was as though the kind and compassionate man that Joshua Graham had worked so hard to become was undone in a split second and a wrathful Malpais Legate was let loose. Only when there were no more enemies to kill and the surviving White Legs fled in fear did Joshua regain control.

“Joshua” he heard Daniel’s soft voice call a few paces behind him, snapping him out of his murderous rage. All he could smell was blood and gunpowder, the chaos and slaughter around them was terrifying. The rest of the residents had gathered together and were working to put out the raging fire that had devoured one of the houses and was threatening to spread.

“Joshua… It’s over”, Daniel cautiously approached his friend, “We should go get you looked at”.

“What?” Joshua asked in a daze, “I’m fine”, but the stunned look on Daniel’s face told him that that was not true. Looking down at his arms and body, he saw that he was drenched in blood. Somehow he had picked up an axe during the fight, though he had no recollection of doing so. It was stained with dark red blood, still dripping with hot blood and a sliver of flesh hanging on to the metal.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up”.

“Where’s Charles?” Joshua asked, blinking sweat and blood out of his eyes.

A sombre expression crossed Daniel’s gentle features and he shook his head apologetically, “He didn’t make it”.

Joshua’s wide eyes fixed on Daniel, at a loss for words to express his grief.

“He was a good man… We will give him a proper burial with the others”.

Daniel nodded and placed a hand on Joshua’s shoulder, gently directing him back to town, “We will… We should go find Mary first, get you out of these bloodied clothes”.

‘Mary!’ a terrifying thought crossed his mind. He wasn’t there to protect her, what if the White Legs got to her…

He sprinted with his weapons still in hand, wide eyes scanning for her through the chaos.

“Mary!” he yelled above the noise, “Mary! Where are you?!”

“Joshua?” he heard her voice. She was with the others helping tend to the wounded and dying, her arms and shins covered in blood.

“Oh God!” he ran up to her, feeling hot tears stream down his face. She was mortified at the state of him but held on to him tightly when he embraced her and held her tightly to his body, fearing that if he let go she would disappear, “Are you alright? Did they hurt you?”

“No…No, Dawn and I did as you said, we hid and waited until we saw them running away”, she pulled back to examine him, “Joshua, you’re covered in blood…”

“I know… It’s not mine”, he held her face in his hands, “Though for a moment I feared the worst”.

“Me too”, she stifled a sob and wiped tears away from her cheeks, “You should get out of those clothes. We need to keep your skin as clean as possible”.

Joshua nodded absentmindedly, looking around at the devastating sights around them, “I can sort myself out, if you’re needed here”.

“Go to the house and wash up, I’ll come see you when I’m done here”, she caressed his face, knowing that even though he wasn’t physically hurt, the events of this night had taken a mental and emotional toll on him.

Some time after Joshua had changed out of his bloodied clothes and rinsed himself off in a tub, Mary came by the house to examine him. He sat staring at the ground while she looked him over, feeling for bruises, broken bones, and any other injury that he may have suffered during the fighting; but it seemed that God had decided to spare him yet again.

“I can’t believe after what you’ve been through, you’ve emerged unscathed”, Mary shook her head in disbelief.

“Can’t you?” he asked softly, “It’s not the first time I’ve gone into battle”.

“What happened out there?” she tried to meet his averting gaze.

He shrugged, trying to recall the events but it was as if that whole part of his life had been erased from his mind, “I don’t know… I can’t remember anything. All I remember was this rage building inside of me when I saw the White Legs and what they had done… all the death and destruction in front of me…”

Mary pursed her lips and lay a hand on his knee, “Try to get some rest. You’ll feel better after a few hours of sleep”.

“No”, he shook his head adamantly, “I can’t sleep now. They will come back. They won’t stop until they kill us all”.

“You can’t know that”, she studied him warily.

Joshua’s eyes looked up into hers and there was a deadly and terrifying look to them that pierced through her, “Yes, I do. We need to be ready for when they return. And they _will_ return in greater numbers. I’ll be damned before I let them take our home from us”.

A part of her wanted to argue her point and offer him words of comfort and reassurance, but that deadly look in his eyes prohibited her. Instead she nodded curtly and stood back up, “Very well… I suppose, given your experience you know best about these things. I’ll be in the Church, tending to the wounded if you need me”.

He reached up and took hold of her hand, the look in his eyes softening to the familiar Joshua Graham Mary had come to know and love, “I’m sorry Mary, I just want to keep us safe. This is the only way I know how”.

“I know”, she gave him a weak smile, “I should let you prepare”.

With a nod, he hesitantly let go of her hand and watched her leave the house as a familiar pit started growing in his stomach. He couldn’t forget the look of horror on her face when she saw him when the fighting ended, his body steaming from his own sweat and being drenched in the still fresh blood of his victims, and he hoped to God that she would never see him in that state again. But if they were going to survive, they needed to be prepared for anything. Come what may, Joshua was going to do everything in his power to protect his community and his loved ones; no matter the cost.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to comment and share your thoughts :) I always enjoy reading comments from my readers and any ideas they may have.

**Author's Note:**

> This has kind of been a story that I have been building on for some months. Since playing New Vegas I've been fascinated by Caesar's Legion and have been trying to imagine what life would be like for the people who have been absorbed into that faction. I specifically wanted to concentrate on the individual human element, that is the psychological toll that being a Legionary soldier would take on the men and with the whole idea behind everyone actually being a slave of Caesar, even his soldiers. This is a work in progress and I greatly appreciate any input that readers may have :).


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